Heh, i think a post for once a week is too long to wait ;P. I'd always feel something has to be done every now and then when i'm back at home doing nothing. Since, most of the friends now have blogs, so often that there will be always something to read about(yeah MJ,MQ,M, SW, K and others, i read your blogs and they are quite interesting ^.^) and to be fair, i guess i'll post something, maybe a little about myself and what do i think of others.
Well, writing daily activities is a bit boring so i guess i'll summarize it as clear as possible.
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What did i do for the last few days?
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There was suppose to be a presentation for Malaysian Studies on last Monday but it wasn't our turn but our group leader, has decided to be the first to do it next week. Quite nervous that time, yeah about that, do any of you reactions when you panic or get nervous? I know i do, i find myself forgetting to swallow saliva and will start to have a cough-like 'vomit'. Yeah it sounds weird but that reaction happens to me when i'm waiting or preparing for something like -- waiting to go to college, waiting attend an exam, prepare for going out with friends... something like that. Well the question is, why am i really nervous about going to hang out with friends...?
That's for you to find out, heh.
I had also went to Time Sqaure to celebrate one of my college mates birthday, it pretty much - a random, funny, interesting and memorable time. Oh i forgot to mention that i like taking pictures of my friends. Well, that's sorta my liking, i'm interested in capturing people when they do not really 'pose' for the camera; it's when they are just at their casual moments. And of course i will not make this pictures publicly known, i respect the people in the photos so this pictures would only be taken for the sake of ONLY letting them have it or looking at it, well with the exception of me of course.
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Random things about my life and myself
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Apparently things settle down once you head back home, not much happens back at the 'Home Sweet Home' ; mostly because i feel home as place of peace and harmony, so most of the time i'd get myself into shape as in doing whatever that can increase esteem and confidence. Recently, i've been trying to reduce my intake of meat to none because increasing low self-esteem since i find it hard to have time to exercise as i only like dancing which i can probably do it 3 hours non-stop. Yup, dancing , is my very own hobby and my most favourite, i'd dance whenever there is cool beat; even in shopping malls. Anyways, because i can't that more oftenly, i started eating more green less yellow or white... And i think i can do it, maybe little by little i may see some results. Not to mention i'm also planning to get a fruit fasting recipe where i will only drink mix fruits on a daily basis which is known as a detox diet.
Well enough about that, lets see, i've been thinking a lot about friendship lately, maybe i'm becoming emo or something but i seem to always fill my head about with thoughts of regret. I've been told that i'm shy and asked why, well most people will jump to conclusion that i'm anti-social, but im not, totally the opposite, i'd crave for someone to talk to but i can't and when i say talk i mean really get to talk more about things like feelings. The other reason why i don't really show my feelings because of the locations; a busy classroom break? nope; a crowded train? nah.; a normal hangout with friends?Not even close.
In my opinion, i think only the most appropriate requirments to talk like would be-
1.The group in the conversation - fewer than 5 people.
2.A peaceful and quiet place, e.g a almost deserted cafe.
3.Comfortable seats or environment with the optional relaxing music.
The people to talk to? Anyone, as long as they are good listeners and has a sense of politeness and gentleness and also the most important thing, understanding.
So far i don't in my life, i have found such people aside from my family. Even if i had close friends doesn't mean they would be undestanding and all; i had a few of them a few years back but not so undestanding and concerning when i talk to them. Sigh... maybe guys just aren't cut out to be like that, jeez maybe i should hang out with girls more often, at least they would even be worried by just telling them you feel emo, hah.
Hopefully no one reads this part, you didn't read it... right?.
09 July 2009
04 July 2009
WeekOsignments (pun for assignments)
Kinda stupid of me, when i read through other people's blog; writing about their lives, i always think to myself if ever writing here is helping myself to solve my life problems. I can only think of one, that writing a blog is a means to express your feelings but having no one to give advice on or support on your views, it just feels pointless. Just another place to be emo when you just can't be emo elsewhere. But preaching over this simple matter, just doesn't matter. I can just summed it all up in one sentence to you.
July - First Week 2009
This is probably the first time i am finally getting busy with assignments and projects. Well, mainly the reasons are procrastinating; the will to do my works just come right at the last minute before the deadline and when the will comes, i pretty pumped.
Monday, right after i came back home from college, i started to doing my economic assignment in a way that forces me to not just finish it but to make myself understand it clearly. I used quite a lot of time on this one, i took me 10 hours to finish that single essay which just reaches almost four pages. But i wasn't regretful, it was the other way round; finally completing and understanding what i just did was more than enough. At the same time, just by knowing that satisfaction of accomplishment, i could sleep soundly.
Tuesday, my duties are not quite done yet, one more to go and this one took me 5 hours to do. Well, the very next day, i said to my parents and myself that i'm totally bummed, tired from studying but i was too caught on Facebook. I wasn't addicted to Facebook because it has random questions and special features, i was addicted because it motivates me to think how important friends are and it is really because of you all, i found happiness in studying. Joy in life always tingles my hear and also warms it. I couldn't sleep until 10 pm that night, before remembering i should be resting.
After thursday, i was pretty much relaxed compared with the past three days, i still have a Malaysian Studies project not yet completed , in a sense; there were still more things to write about. I have to thank Junior for pushing me though, if it weren't for him i could have done worse than the other people that are in the group. That would be quite embarassing indeed.
In between those days, there were stress building up after classes, not until a lunch the college pals there, even though i don't talk much, just being with them seems to make forget about worries; just like during old times in high school. Unfortunately, time passes, friends are changed, that's what been making down a bit for the moment. I just recently heard a bad side of one of my high school friends, sadly one of my close friends. Hmm, dejavu? i think i wrote this before, or maybe it's just the same person but he's doing something bad again? Well, i won't dwell much into what my friend did, i will only say, i might see him in different way...
Hmph.. to think i waited to update the blog was something negative. Life, eh?
Fin at 5 a.m. Sunday
I'm reading your's. Are you reading mine?
July - First Week 2009
This is probably the first time i am finally getting busy with assignments and projects. Well, mainly the reasons are procrastinating; the will to do my works just come right at the last minute before the deadline and when the will comes, i pretty pumped.
Monday, right after i came back home from college, i started to doing my economic assignment in a way that forces me to not just finish it but to make myself understand it clearly. I used quite a lot of time on this one, i took me 10 hours to finish that single essay which just reaches almost four pages. But i wasn't regretful, it was the other way round; finally completing and understanding what i just did was more than enough. At the same time, just by knowing that satisfaction of accomplishment, i could sleep soundly.
Tuesday, my duties are not quite done yet, one more to go and this one took me 5 hours to do. Well, the very next day, i said to my parents and myself that i'm totally bummed, tired from studying but i was too caught on Facebook. I wasn't addicted to Facebook because it has random questions and special features, i was addicted because it motivates me to think how important friends are and it is really because of you all, i found happiness in studying. Joy in life always tingles my hear and also warms it. I couldn't sleep until 10 pm that night, before remembering i should be resting.
After thursday, i was pretty much relaxed compared with the past three days, i still have a Malaysian Studies project not yet completed , in a sense; there were still more things to write about. I have to thank Junior for pushing me though, if it weren't for him i could have done worse than the other people that are in the group. That would be quite embarassing indeed.
In between those days, there were stress building up after classes, not until a lunch the college pals there, even though i don't talk much, just being with them seems to make forget about worries; just like during old times in high school. Unfortunately, time passes, friends are changed, that's what been making down a bit for the moment. I just recently heard a bad side of one of my high school friends, sadly one of my close friends. Hmm, dejavu? i think i wrote this before, or maybe it's just the same person but he's doing something bad again? Well, i won't dwell much into what my friend did, i will only say, i might see him in different way...
Hmph.. to think i waited to update the blog was something negative. Life, eh?
Fin at 5 a.m. Sunday
02 July 2009
To forget you, I must think about her.
Too long have i been suffered,
Memories of you seems to pierce my feelings;
Every time, i try to forget.
Too long have i been foolish,
Being away from you seems to blur my sight;
Every time, i try to withstand.
Too long have i been ignorant.
Hating you forcefully seems to tremble my soul;
Every time, i try to believe.
If being with her, can forever calm my mind of you, then so be it;
If not, then only admitting the truth will help me move forward,
Even for eternity, your image will ever be engraved into my mind.
Memories of you seems to pierce my feelings;
Every time, i try to forget.
Too long have i been foolish,
Being away from you seems to blur my sight;
Every time, i try to withstand.
Too long have i been ignorant.
Hating you forcefully seems to tremble my soul;
Every time, i try to believe.
If being with her, can forever calm my mind of you, then so be it;
If not, then only admitting the truth will help me move forward,
Even for eternity, your image will ever be engraved into my mind.
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