I hope I have enough time to write this, it's rare to blog at an hour that Jake has a rational mind.
Anyways, I am well. I've almost got everything sorted out. All the major payments for my one year in UK has been made.
My luggage apparently has been packed for quite a while, I think it was too early but my mum insisted. One bag for surviving and another for gaming. A tiny bit extreme but yeah, I didn't had to bring much if I don't bring my miniatures.
Another 19-20 days left. I'm not scared or anything, I'm anticipating and waiting for abroad studying. Somehow I feel like if I don't go, I'll never know if I really had my own will to live; not because people have to take care of me thus far.
I also want to know if I really liked my past friends. Since I severed the connection, the times I'm reminded about them are getting less and less, but when I do I still work through the connections and take a glimpse of their status. By going to UK, it's either I make new friends or people make friends out of me.
I hope I won't be swayed by love there either, it's hard to imagine myself be together with a foreigner in terms of practicality of relationships. Everyone's going to try to depend on themselves to survive, I highly doubt people from here are available anyways.
---The group of people I've joined in Facebook which I'm going to be living together also pondered the question of an apocalyptic world, specifically if it was zombie infested one. All the better to prove whether I'm capable to live in this world. Of course the realistic goal to study abroad is to get a decent degree, but that's not so much a concern as to improving myself to be a better and stronger person.
I want to become someone reliable and trustworthy. Without that guaranteed lending of help that can be found at my home, I'm forced to make the decisions to earn myself the right to choose my own paths.
---I'd hope to say goodbye to my friends that are staying back here, but we've distant from each other for too far and too long, in both mind and soul.
Regardless, a farewell to you who is reading, and to the people that can't read this, is needed no matter what form it takes. From the bottom of my heart I've missed you all, but my other side proves to be polarized and pessimistic against everyone.
I really loved you all, but it hurts.
If you believe in reincarnation, I hope we meet again in another lifetime, with a better me.
Anyways, I am well. I've almost got everything sorted out. All the major payments for my one year in UK has been made.
My luggage apparently has been packed for quite a while, I think it was too early but my mum insisted. One bag for surviving and another for gaming. A tiny bit extreme but yeah, I didn't had to bring much if I don't bring my miniatures.
Another 19-20 days left. I'm not scared or anything, I'm anticipating and waiting for abroad studying. Somehow I feel like if I don't go, I'll never know if I really had my own will to live; not because people have to take care of me thus far.
I also want to know if I really liked my past friends. Since I severed the connection, the times I'm reminded about them are getting less and less, but when I do I still work through the connections and take a glimpse of their status. By going to UK, it's either I make new friends or people make friends out of me.
I hope I won't be swayed by love there either, it's hard to imagine myself be together with a foreigner in terms of practicality of relationships. Everyone's going to try to depend on themselves to survive, I highly doubt people from here are available anyways.
---The group of people I've joined in Facebook which I'm going to be living together also pondered the question of an apocalyptic world, specifically if it was zombie infested one. All the better to prove whether I'm capable to live in this world. Of course the realistic goal to study abroad is to get a decent degree, but that's not so much a concern as to improving myself to be a better and stronger person.
I want to become someone reliable and trustworthy. Without that guaranteed lending of help that can be found at my home, I'm forced to make the decisions to earn myself the right to choose my own paths.
---I'd hope to say goodbye to my friends that are staying back here, but we've distant from each other for too far and too long, in both mind and soul.
Regardless, a farewell to you who is reading, and to the people that can't read this, is needed no matter what form it takes. From the bottom of my heart I've missed you all, but my other side proves to be polarized and pessimistic against everyone.
I really loved you all, but it hurts.
If you believe in reincarnation, I hope we meet again in another lifetime, with a better me.
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