试试看吧

Will be using chinese to write this blog for two reasons, see what is the extent of the level of chinese language i am at now and also because i wanna see is it in par at expressing thoughts and feelings through English. It's been more than two years since i wrote things in chinese.

但是想一想，我真的不知道用华文可以写得出什么东西啰，抱歉如果以下有错误。

不用再说，其实我的华语随准是可以差点拿到不及格的，咳无论如何我的还是试试看吧。

讲真的啰，如果我不用不讲不写，没人会知道我是华校生，但也不是很光荣的一件事。

要问为什么的话，可以讲说是我把我的兴趣放在英文上因为英文身为了我的生活的一部分。

从小看卡通都是用英语，没翻译成华语，还有补习只是补英文。

从中学开始，我都一直给搅华语的老师给看死，因为不交功课还有不专心，就这样我放弃了这课啰。

但没放弃到不及格啦，我有讲过，到Form 5 我改变我自己的态度为了家人还有自己，虽然爱情那方面我当时很不稳，第一次初恋到很严重然后还要放弃和停止继续得去想她。哈哈现在问题更加难决绝掉，暗恋，哇~ 我跟你讲，更难去明白还有去解释。

又在想一想话，我想要去追得女生永远会有阻碍的，不是高矮的问题，就是宗教的问题，不是性格的问题，就是年龄差别的问题。


我想啊，为什么我的眼光就是那么差我不明白，也许我的条件太复杂吧，连自己都不清楚。
我爱上的偏偏就是事实上，家人不会接受或者是命运不给我现在谈恋爱。


人已经十九岁了，我看比跟我家人的话，我因该是最久没有交过女朋友的啦，安慰我还是给我一脚也没问题。


头脑讲你能承当到那么久，在继续吧；心里讲你能承到那么久，该给自己一个机会啦。
我讲，现在的情况是不上不下，要我怎么样啊?

Anyways, for anyone wondering why the twits in me twitter sound emo about love well at the same time my blog posts has been really angry. 

The former one is just you misunderstanding through guessing, again if you ask me in real life, i'll just give an answer more likely to be not an answer at all. 

The later one is really myself being angry and sad, but it's like a few weeks ago, now it's more like i'm enjoying my solitude life and criticizing other people's point of view and their hypocritical self contradicting to it. Hate all you want about how i view through your actions that i've seen myself, i don't really care anymore. Just by the act of cursing someone behind their backs and not being able to tolerate and accept people and their life is signs of immaturity, just so you haters know.

Anyways, to summarize the reasons about my mood swings, i loved a girl, then i tried to tolerate the fact it's impossible, then i tried to forget, then i loved her again, then i'm sorta interested in other girls, but she's in my mind which is inconvenient and feel really guilty. And now~~ it's sorta still quite like that. I'm stuck but i got a lot of good reasons to stop being so pathetic in my life just because i can't stop a problematic love. I have a lot of responsibilities at my hand, so much i can care less about love and now more about being productive and changing myself.

I have to keep thinking i should aim to be successful in life, other things you wished for will eventually be drawn towards you. Have to think far, give that love a 5 years break time.

Or else, the only thing i wished for the girl to tell me, is that i'm just not her type and this crap will all just friggin end. Please do that for me, it's killing me. I can't, i'm a guy with no balls.