Sleeping Early or Late.

It's hard to get up in the morning when there's no class.

That or my dreams are getting very surreal, I would know it's a dream because I'll notice inconsistencies by trying to remember how I get to a place.

For an example, the last dream was about my family visiting me, even though we're in different continents but I'll think it makes sense for quite sometime. Waking up just confuses me, like it feels not right to be here, then immediately I'll easily go to sleep again.

Anyhow, life's been swell. I haven't been in a very depressed mood since  everyone went out for Christmas and till now. It's actually comforting to have a place all to yourself and not feeling alone.

"You can't be alone, if there's no one around," a quote from an anime called Tonari no Kaibutsu (can't believe I remember the name) that I just recently watched and read an unfinished manga. The story talks about a studious girl who only concerns about her grades meets a trouble child who falls in love with her because she accidently helped him to go to school. 

The main characters' relationship development is very interesting and all but what kept me watching was the fact they flesh out all the other characters too, even if you thought they weren't the focus of the story.

The point is that it talks about unrequited loves in a realistic and interesting way. I've been thinking romantic or slice of life animes and especially the good ones are able to connect the audience very well with their characters. Mainly because the characters most of the time represents our personality, since we're never always an extremely optimistic or severely introverted person throughout our days of living.

And like I've said probably months ago, I learn and consider life values mainly from animes and sometimes even games. In fact they actually help me get through a phase in life quite effectively and it's just recently.

That help is usually in the form of an advice on my situation or a different perspective in life compared to mine.

For this one, I used to think I should force myself not to like someone since it's mostly if not always just me and a girl will have a weird thing (a BF).

But after watching this, I realise I was just denying what I truly feel, whether or not it's temporary or we don't have such a mutual feeling. Further thinking about it, I don't really have a lot to lose having this feelings, better yet nothing will happen or change for the worse. It's only worse if I believe it to be.

I thought confessions were the worst things you can do to destroy a friendship. Yes it might be, if we were anything that close. Note the 'we' I'm using now is any person I will or still have feelings for, no one entirely specific. Anyways, even though it might not be, "I love you", it's still a "I like you". 

From here on out, if I really like a person, it'll be the first thing I mention before being misunderstood or making a fool out of myself. What the heck, right? My intentions need to be clear on whether or not I just want to be friends, or have a chance to be more than that. But what ever happens after is up to the other person really.

I'll just be frank, if there's one thing I learn from the past, is that there's not a lot of people who understands underlying intentions in my words, or I'm not really good with indirect confessions.

However, since I'm pretty much alone all this time, it'll be quite a while before anything happens again. Though whenever that is, one thing I have to make sure,

is that I don't mix the feeling of not wanting to be alone and actually liking a person. This recent feelings might just well be the former. I can't really like a person without knowing them much.

I'll have to give a chance to let them know more about me first. But that's for another time.