Another unlucky day, first it was uneasy feeling in my stomach, and now, there's a sprained knee.
Seriously attempting to exercise, not one is without an accident or happening.
Now i'm crippled, right leg can't move too much, have to recuperate for a lengthly time.
I have so much to do yet because of this, i might have to cancel doing a few of them.
I'm i that pathetic?
This hasn't happened to me for a long time.
Why is it happening consequently now?
At the back of my mind, i am suppose to be the one whose helping the weak, but seems like i'm becoming one.
Screw this, i'm not giving up, i'm a guy for crying out loud.
If i have to impress a girl, i'll have to break a few bones, spill some blood if that is what it takes.
Because i want to show i can take care of people, take care of myself, not the other way round.
It's not that i don't appreciate your help, i just don't want you think i'm pathetic.
22 October 2010
17 October 2010
There's always gonna be another hill.
Basically what i did this Friday 15th of October i went to Broga Hills with this bunch of college friends in the morning, which was about 5.30 we started to walk, and probably a bit more than half way through the way to the top, i was super exhausted, and when everyone was waiting for ol' me to catch my breath, which i never seem to before the most embarrassing thing in my teen life happened, i started to throw up around the bushes where we were resting in complete darkness with only the flash lights some of us were carrying.
Threw up two times, thought i can hold it in, then the third time comes, and all that meal from the Mc Donalds came all out to the floor. Wasted RM4.75 and most of my dignity. Truthfully, i didn't think it was going to be a really hard climbing up to the hills, more or less i thought the path was gonna be wide and not too steep, well all the more opposite from what i had expected, for me it felt really difficult just by looking up the hill when i was going up with the others, the only light source was torchlights so it adds up to the difficulty in determining how to make every step up an inch or two.
Regardless, all that i had went through, was worth sitting down on that rock and looking at the magnificent view. One thing that's good about this trekking, is that i didn't think much, the only thing that mattered was everyone's survival and how am i able to get through this. But embarrassingly, it turned out everyone was more concerned about me. At that time i truly wish i was more stronger, even the girls helped me, i was just so disappointed at myself.
What am i gonna do about it? Well, i'll just have to wait till my legs are pain free again, i guess i used pretty much every single strands of muscle in my leg to climb up and down the hill and they are still strained badly. It's not really a problem right now, but climbing stairs is still an annoyance to me. But i'll definitely do something about this useless body of mine, not gonna embarrass myself the second time, at least not entirely.
I had a lot of fun nonetheless, in a way i've gotten close to some of my friends in college, as i said, there's practically no time to bond during college times, but even though college's could be a cold place to be in, it's where and how we met each other.
Threw up two times, thought i can hold it in, then the third time comes, and all that meal from the Mc Donalds came all out to the floor. Wasted RM4.75 and most of my dignity. Truthfully, i didn't think it was going to be a really hard climbing up to the hills, more or less i thought the path was gonna be wide and not too steep, well all the more opposite from what i had expected, for me it felt really difficult just by looking up the hill when i was going up with the others, the only light source was torchlights so it adds up to the difficulty in determining how to make every step up an inch or two.
Regardless, all that i had went through, was worth sitting down on that rock and looking at the magnificent view. One thing that's good about this trekking, is that i didn't think much, the only thing that mattered was everyone's survival and how am i able to get through this. But embarrassingly, it turned out everyone was more concerned about me. At that time i truly wish i was more stronger, even the girls helped me, i was just so disappointed at myself.
What am i gonna do about it? Well, i'll just have to wait till my legs are pain free again, i guess i used pretty much every single strands of muscle in my leg to climb up and down the hill and they are still strained badly. It's not really a problem right now, but climbing stairs is still an annoyance to me. But i'll definitely do something about this useless body of mine, not gonna embarrass myself the second time, at least not entirely.
I had a lot of fun nonetheless, in a way i've gotten close to some of my friends in college, as i said, there's practically no time to bond during college times, but even though college's could be a cold place to be in, it's where and how we met each other.
11 October 2010
[Short Story] The Young Monk and the Lost Couple
There was a young monk,
with thoughts of virtue, he could bring peace to himself,
and able to bring it to others too, or so he thought.
One day, when he was sweeping, at the entrance to the temple,
there was one couple,that was passing by.
The young monk, saw that the two, was arguing,
the air was felt uneasy.
He approached them, out of curiosity and kindness.
When the couple saw the young monk coming,
there was a moment of silence, but clearly,
silence was hard to maintain for that period.
The monk asked, the couple answered.
They were lost but both claimed to know where to go.
But, their methods were contradictory to each other.
The young monk remembered the three steps,
tolerate, accept and finally forgive,
If the couple could follow this,
they will eventually find their path back home peacefully.
But reasons were deaf to their ears, they have been lost for too long,
their emotions already gotten in the way, they fought for too long.
The young monk confused, why can't they be in agreement?
He was needed to make a decision, to side with one of them.
But he could not, at the end, he believed that it was not right.
Unfortunately, the couple decided to go separately,
finding their way back on their own, with anger and frustration in their heart.
The young monk, was saddened by what has transpired.
Logic was simple, it was virtuous to make the decision he thought.
But why couldn't the couple realize this?
Confused, the young monk turned to his master for guidance.
His master, old as a tree could be, gave a fraction of his wisdom.
He said,
"Machines such as a computer, to best put it's function to use, follow simple logics, never strayed from it, never failed in it's purpose. Humans are no such thing, give him an apple, and he may eat it, he could give to someone, or even sell it. They are different from machines, because we do not just have bodies to function, but we have souls connected to, plainly said, both logic and emotions guide our actions."
"Then why had the couple not see this, why was i not able to make them realize?" The young monk asked.
"Young one, lives cannot be changed to for the greater good in less than an hour. In the things that people do in practical sense, they will surely make mistakes and most of the time improve themselves better."
"However, mistakes are realized when it's results are known, only by that time, one shall repent and improve. The mistake this couple made, was a behavioral one, it can be and will be realized by oneself, which sadly themselves, can best convince that their nature, can affect the level of their happiness and people around him."
The young monk could not fully understand what knowledge his master had bestowed upon him.
Until one day, one of the couple came to visit the temple.
Her looks seemed pale, her hand holding onto a child.
Her face suggested that she had gone through something bad.
It has been years, but the young monk finally understood, when the widowed came,
she was in regret and remorse of her eventual divorce with her husband.
She had realized her time with him was full of despair, frustration and anger.
And understood it was because she and her husband could seldom be in agreement,
anything she argued, was anything that didn't suit her.
Yet at that time she couldn't understand why her husband could give what she has mostly demanded.
Her life was unsatisfied, the more she demanded, the more her husband got angrier and fed up with her.
By the time when she realized if she wasn't demanding and egoistic,
her husband had already left for another women, leaving her and his daughter.
Now, even though she has nothing much left,
she is quite contented that she still has her daughter, it meant the whole world to her.
Even so, she regretted that if she realized that if she had not been arrogant, unforgiving and expecting of others,
her life could've been a happy one throughout.
After praying for her daughter's safety, they both left the temple to where they lived,
using her ex-husband's method.
A person's level of desire and self-centered, shows a person's level of happiness. The more you desire, the less satisfied you are, the more selfish you are, the more conflicts you'll encounter.
with thoughts of virtue, he could bring peace to himself,
and able to bring it to others too, or so he thought.
One day, when he was sweeping, at the entrance to the temple,
there was one couple,that was passing by.
The young monk, saw that the two, was arguing,
the air was felt uneasy.
He approached them, out of curiosity and kindness.
When the couple saw the young monk coming,
there was a moment of silence, but clearly,
silence was hard to maintain for that period.
The monk asked, the couple answered.
They were lost but both claimed to know where to go.
But, their methods were contradictory to each other.
The young monk remembered the three steps,
tolerate, accept and finally forgive,
If the couple could follow this,
they will eventually find their path back home peacefully.
But reasons were deaf to their ears, they have been lost for too long,
their emotions already gotten in the way, they fought for too long.
The young monk confused, why can't they be in agreement?
He was needed to make a decision, to side with one of them.
But he could not, at the end, he believed that it was not right.
Unfortunately, the couple decided to go separately,
finding their way back on their own, with anger and frustration in their heart.
The young monk, was saddened by what has transpired.
Logic was simple, it was virtuous to make the decision he thought.
But why couldn't the couple realize this?
Confused, the young monk turned to his master for guidance.
His master, old as a tree could be, gave a fraction of his wisdom.
He said,
"Machines such as a computer, to best put it's function to use, follow simple logics, never strayed from it, never failed in it's purpose. Humans are no such thing, give him an apple, and he may eat it, he could give to someone, or even sell it. They are different from machines, because we do not just have bodies to function, but we have souls connected to, plainly said, both logic and emotions guide our actions."
"Then why had the couple not see this, why was i not able to make them realize?" The young monk asked.
"Young one, lives cannot be changed to for the greater good in less than an hour. In the things that people do in practical sense, they will surely make mistakes and most of the time improve themselves better."
"However, mistakes are realized when it's results are known, only by that time, one shall repent and improve. The mistake this couple made, was a behavioral one, it can be and will be realized by oneself, which sadly themselves, can best convince that their nature, can affect the level of their happiness and people around him."
The young monk could not fully understand what knowledge his master had bestowed upon him.
Until one day, one of the couple came to visit the temple.
Her looks seemed pale, her hand holding onto a child.
Her face suggested that she had gone through something bad.
It has been years, but the young monk finally understood, when the widowed came,
she was in regret and remorse of her eventual divorce with her husband.
She had realized her time with him was full of despair, frustration and anger.
And understood it was because she and her husband could seldom be in agreement,
anything she argued, was anything that didn't suit her.
Yet at that time she couldn't understand why her husband could give what she has mostly demanded.
Her life was unsatisfied, the more she demanded, the more her husband got angrier and fed up with her.
By the time when she realized if she wasn't demanding and egoistic,
her husband had already left for another women, leaving her and his daughter.
Now, even though she has nothing much left,
she is quite contented that she still has her daughter, it meant the whole world to her.
Even so, she regretted that if she realized that if she had not been arrogant, unforgiving and expecting of others,
her life could've been a happy one throughout.
After praying for her daughter's safety, they both left the temple to where they lived,
using her ex-husband's method.
A person's level of desire and self-centered, shows a person's level of happiness. The more you desire, the less satisfied you are, the more selfish you are, the more conflicts you'll encounter.
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