Part 2, I guess. It was late and I needed to rest. (Most used words besides 'probably' and 'just', my vocab is so limited)
So where did I left, oh yeah, salvation. Well let's talk about my 'fake salvations' then.
They are more like momentary happiness because afterwards it's something that I personally shouldn't do.
Online chatting being the main one I'm emphasising, or overall online socialising. Although not proud of, but I know the in's and out's of it. I best communicate with people clearly through written sentences; you've got plenty of time to correct them.
What I like about this method, is it's comfortable and instantaneous; and also why I don't like about them.
Do you see people fiddling with their phone/tablets almost everywhere? Or you yourself does that? It is a major problem but the majority does not care for it. The reason being people are bypassing actual and real socialising circumstances.
I sit in class, I see the majority of people just looking down at a screen, instead of chatting with the person beside them or paying attention to lectures. I walk in shopping malls, I see couples sitting together,fiddling with their phones.
People don't realise this but, even when you're doing anything at this moments, you 'are' doing something. Gadgets shouldn't be the first thing to remove that awkwardness; that AWKWARDNESS is much needed.
If both people would embrace this feeling, they will start to look or think about things to entertain each other. We would look at each other, notice all the little things, knowing each other better.
If playing phones is what you do most of the time even when you go out, then why bother hanging out when you're concern with your online social 'commitments'. Malaysia's not a safe place to show that expensive phones without caution either.
This is coming from someone who doesn't even have the chance to do that. At least not anymore. Like always, I only notice things when I lose them and you can never really get them back.
Social networks just doesn't work for me, when posts statuses or share stuff, it's like writing on a wall where no one really cares.
Chatting was a momentary happiness, but it never felt true. I can only talk about more sentimental stuff with girls online, but it never felt like they were listening or interested. Maybe it is excuse but none of the girls I've talk to really spend time chatting online.
What can I can do though? I was never close and I can never be more close. So again, it was like talking to myself, since replies are like 5 words on average. I was just lying to myself that I do have someone to talk to.
Couple with the fact, girls don't initiate conversations. So it really delve down to, chatting to this girl until I really have nothing relevant to talk about and moving to the next one.
Although at first, my intention when I first tried online chatting, was to find that special someone. But it was really just trying to find a girl that listens and wants to talk to me when the year came to an end.
Well, I'm all out of potential girls to chat with, so that's really the end of it. I could never really accept such a fact but, I guess I sort of went through the 'Five Stages of Grief", didn't I?
I was in denial, I couldn't possibly have no girl friends to talk to.
I was angry, why these girls are just not interested in me.
I was bargaining, maybe if I tried different approaches, things will go as I had wished.
I was depressed, when all opportunities had been exhausted, I felt there's really no hope for the way I had chosen to live.
And I am probably in the acceptance stage.
There's really nothing I can do about it, a bond between two people can't be simply created or strengthened. The fate of meeting a person who can become a part of life, sharing mind and body, is not something I decide, or is bound to happen.
I really just have to accept, I'm alone, in my mind and body. For what I can share with the I already know, I shall continue to share. But any place deeper, I just have to be content that I only know and feel.
Happy New Year.
So where did I left, oh yeah, salvation. Well let's talk about my 'fake salvations' then.
They are more like momentary happiness because afterwards it's something that I personally shouldn't do.
Online chatting being the main one I'm emphasising, or overall online socialising. Although not proud of, but I know the in's and out's of it. I best communicate with people clearly through written sentences; you've got plenty of time to correct them.
What I like about this method, is it's comfortable and instantaneous; and also why I don't like about them.
Do you see people fiddling with their phone/tablets almost everywhere? Or you yourself does that? It is a major problem but the majority does not care for it. The reason being people are bypassing actual and real socialising circumstances.
I sit in class, I see the majority of people just looking down at a screen, instead of chatting with the person beside them or paying attention to lectures. I walk in shopping malls, I see couples sitting together,fiddling with their phones.
People don't realise this but, even when you're doing anything at this moments, you 'are' doing something. Gadgets shouldn't be the first thing to remove that awkwardness; that AWKWARDNESS is much needed.
If both people would embrace this feeling, they will start to look or think about things to entertain each other. We would look at each other, notice all the little things, knowing each other better.
If playing phones is what you do most of the time even when you go out, then why bother hanging out when you're concern with your online social 'commitments'. Malaysia's not a safe place to show that expensive phones without caution either.
This is coming from someone who doesn't even have the chance to do that. At least not anymore. Like always, I only notice things when I lose them and you can never really get them back.
Social networks just doesn't work for me, when posts statuses or share stuff, it's like writing on a wall where no one really cares.
Chatting was a momentary happiness, but it never felt true. I can only talk about more sentimental stuff with girls online, but it never felt like they were listening or interested. Maybe it is excuse but none of the girls I've talk to really spend time chatting online.
What can I can do though? I was never close and I can never be more close. So again, it was like talking to myself, since replies are like 5 words on average. I was just lying to myself that I do have someone to talk to.
Couple with the fact, girls don't initiate conversations. So it really delve down to, chatting to this girl until I really have nothing relevant to talk about and moving to the next one.
Although at first, my intention when I first tried online chatting, was to find that special someone. But it was really just trying to find a girl that listens and wants to talk to me when the year came to an end.
Well, I'm all out of potential girls to chat with, so that's really the end of it. I could never really accept such a fact but, I guess I sort of went through the 'Five Stages of Grief", didn't I?
I was in denial, I couldn't possibly have no girl friends to talk to.
I was angry, why these girls are just not interested in me.
I was bargaining, maybe if I tried different approaches, things will go as I had wished.
I was depressed, when all opportunities had been exhausted, I felt there's really no hope for the way I had chosen to live.
And I am probably in the acceptance stage.
There's really nothing I can do about it, a bond between two people can't be simply created or strengthened. The fate of meeting a person who can become a part of life, sharing mind and body, is not something I decide, or is bound to happen.
I really just have to accept, I'm alone, in my mind and body. For what I can share with the I already know, I shall continue to share. But any place deeper, I just have to be content that I only know and feel.
Happy New Year.
