16 December 2013

The older you get, the less desire to pursue.

Inevitably but not surprisingly I have come back here again.

I'm sure you, who ever you are, know the drill. In any case, it's good to write down the bad stuff. It means I'm mostly wiling to move on from this thoughts and conclude on them.

What comes first in my mind is that I'm getting numb over not being able to relate to a new girl any deeper than acquaintances.

I've been, 'chatting' with girls, mostly not in the real world. It has come to my first realisation, it's never going to work. If you don't have any chance of actually conversing with them in real life and for reasonable length, such mode of communication can't be primary one to be used.

Hypocritical as I may sound, I don't encourage online socialising at all. Debating sure, but you can only do little in terms of feeling actual thoughts of people in the cold screen. Any forms of it just deteriorates what spontaneous and honest conversations can be held between persons.

That's the thing though, people who don't have time in the real world relies on it. So much they feel actual speech is too cumbersome or time-consuming. Somehow work/studies have occupied people's lives completely.

At least, that's from my perspective, which is quite limited. Such a situation may appear as so because people that I know, just doesn't wish to put precious time on me. I have come to notice, secondly, that people do have time to do other things, giving ample of it as needed. The number of people I truly connect with, is only a handful, but I'm not considered to be someone important in their life, a third party; a side character; a person amongst a crowd.

But I'm getting sidetracked, who's to say I'm right or wrong about the things I say. Only I can feel what I feel, believe what I believe, see what I see.

Now, I don't particularly care the end result or the time I should spend trying. I ask a question, i get a response, then I reply back; rinse and repeat until either of us gets bored.

I would rather lie to myself than face an empty life than can be prolonged from happening.

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