If there was a manga or anime for this, i'd definitely watch it.
>
28 November 2010
27 November 2010
There's always one darker day in every week.
Well, guess what, got my first stop from a cop. Where? at college, yeap pretty sure for most people, it's the DBKL officers they encounter. Not me, i was so lucky that a corrupted cop was at the junction, hurray. I'm not even sure if i should be glad about the fact he was corrupted so i don't need to get a summon or pissed about it since among my friends, i was the only one who got caught.
Basically i just went straight through the junction, you know the place where there's blocks of yellow and black striped things to prevent people from going straight bla bla bla. Anyways, he was in front of me and i paid him frigging 30 bucks, didn't really care to bargain because i was really pissed. But to be honest though, if i were to follow the "right way", i think i'd have to make detour to get to the parking area under the Tun Sambathan Monorail Station, a really really long detour.
I didn't plan on telling about this besides my parents, surprisingly enough they didn't scold me badly about it, probably because they could tell how i felt just by looking at my pissed off face. Anyhow i don't want people to worry about me that's all, simply because it's not a big deal and i believe i should be able to handle my stupid mistakes.
Did thought about driving through the guy after i parked my car beside the streets and paid RM1.10 which was suppose to be what i could've just spent. But i guess it's not worth getting into jail just to kill a corrupted cop. Now before you go "gasp! Jake's so violent", i have to tell you they are just thoughts, it'll never reflect the real me in reality. But i have to say, who doesn't have this kind of thoughts every once in a while. For example, you might feel so angry you just want to pull out something and throw it at that person or punch him senselessly.
The violent side of me, well i don't think it has ever resurfaced after Form 2. Yeah, i was kind of a bully before that but i guess i was immoral; plainly speaking i haven't truly learned how to be a good person. More or less anger controlled my actions, i was ill tempered. Before i say any further, note that i'm just talking my past. Anyways, i acted this way because it was fun and felt rewarding; beating someone up because they call names, make fun of you, didn't accept your opinions.. that's probably half of the reason i have "fun-friends" because i liked to play rough. There wasn't exactly any real fight but when it happens, you feel that sudden rage, that thrill, the adrenaline pumping into your heart. At those circumstances, if it was a chasing game, the only thing you want to do is catch that guy and just bring the person down to the floor, proving you were better, the violent way. It may be child play but the feeling of pride and satisfaction wasn't.
Probably one of the reasons why i don't have any primary school friends that wanted to contact me, well, that time i thought those were my friends, didn't really take into account people didn't like getting bullied. Even my closest friend who i had been with together for the whole 6 years, didn't want to talk to me, after so many years i found him through Facebook. Heh, who knows, i'm probably the few people in Malaysia who doesn't have primary or secondary school friends. As far as i am concerned, i only regretted about avoiding my secondary school friends as i would have tons of fun going here and there. However, it's not "real" fun because it seemed like the fun only required "bodies" to have with but no "soul" was needed.
It sounds sad but i guess i was ignorant about it when i was together with them until the very last few outings, so i probably only felt left out for a while. "Only a few outings and you ditched them forever?" Yeah, try and sit together with a bunch of people and seeing the persons sitting beside you talking to someone else AND not just once but several occasions. So me being the quiet one should always remain silent, isn't it?
*deep breath* anyways, after Form 3 i learned not to use my fists to do the talking, because it never truly worked to solve problems. But i was still ill-tempered at home, get a bit annoyed and i'll ape-shit and break into an argument. I only realized i had anger problems when i started to go to college, even though my mum constantly told me i am easily angered, which of course i was in denial. Things like this you just have to realize and deal with it yourself, nobody helped me with controlling my anger, i just constantly calm myself in my mind.
Well, that'll only suppress at the time, doesn't stop me from being pissed, as in effected emotionally about it. So where do i release all this steam kept in my mind? Best would be talk about it to a girl, because guys don't listen, but most of the time there won't be one suitable and available, probably people around me assume i'm not sensitive, but a serious person judging from my attitude in the real world. The next best solution would be here, only for the more emotional stuff though, minor stuffs that annoy me would probably end up in Twitter or Facebook only.
Have to be honest though, times like this, i will always want someone special sitting beside me. I would define this feeling as being lost and in need of someone to support you. Well, after sometime i would shrug it off, stare seriously into the distant, and get back up from where i fell. I just have to tell myself, "those wishes can only come true when you're asleep, you have bigger things to worry about."
Though to elaborate my point even further, yes, being single isn't detrimental, prime example would be Kimberley, though i could suggest she's an exception to the general rule. The high level of intelligence, confidence, stamina, charisma, and loving family & friends; there's very little room for that extra person in her life. People like me, i guess i'm the average joe, typically the person that doesn't have most of the things they are good at and have empty spaces that i need someone to fill in. I don't much to judge about Kim but, probably no one would like to have someone like me that is just average or maybe lower than average. I'm being really honest, i know who i am and where do i stand among others. It's not like i always feel lonely, i have friends and family that care about me but sad times like this, it's inevitable.
"Life's more than just love bla bla bla", yeah yeah, you may say otherwise and be positive about it but that's how i view singles go through their lives, it's only the level of "loneliness" which vary from one person to another, it doesn't change the fact that it DOES happen. I'm not saying this to demotivate the "single" readers but to simply see the reality of it. Of course, i could be well wrong about my opinions and views, there are people who stay single for the rest of their lives and they seem to be okay with it. Just saying, i'm not trying to generalise singles but to say out what i see and what i feel. Emotionally, i just think loving that someone takes first priority over everything else. Rationally, no, life's aims are too important to risk falling in love. Which will triumph, emotions or rationality? i can never be certain of the future, so here's funny pic just for fun.
Basically i just went straight through the junction, you know the place where there's blocks of yellow and black striped things to prevent people from going straight bla bla bla. Anyways, he was in front of me and i paid him frigging 30 bucks, didn't really care to bargain because i was really pissed. But to be honest though, if i were to follow the "right way", i think i'd have to make detour to get to the parking area under the Tun Sambathan Monorail Station, a really really long detour.
I didn't plan on telling about this besides my parents, surprisingly enough they didn't scold me badly about it, probably because they could tell how i felt just by looking at my pissed off face. Anyhow i don't want people to worry about me that's all, simply because it's not a big deal and i believe i should be able to handle my stupid mistakes.
Did thought about driving through the guy after i parked my car beside the streets and paid RM1.10 which was suppose to be what i could've just spent. But i guess it's not worth getting into jail just to kill a corrupted cop. Now before you go "gasp! Jake's so violent", i have to tell you they are just thoughts, it'll never reflect the real me in reality. But i have to say, who doesn't have this kind of thoughts every once in a while. For example, you might feel so angry you just want to pull out something and throw it at that person or punch him senselessly.
The violent side of me, well i don't think it has ever resurfaced after Form 2. Yeah, i was kind of a bully before that but i guess i was immoral; plainly speaking i haven't truly learned how to be a good person. More or less anger controlled my actions, i was ill tempered. Before i say any further, note that i'm just talking my past. Anyways, i acted this way because it was fun and felt rewarding; beating someone up because they call names, make fun of you, didn't accept your opinions.. that's probably half of the reason i have "fun-friends" because i liked to play rough. There wasn't exactly any real fight but when it happens, you feel that sudden rage, that thrill, the adrenaline pumping into your heart. At those circumstances, if it was a chasing game, the only thing you want to do is catch that guy and just bring the person down to the floor, proving you were better, the violent way. It may be child play but the feeling of pride and satisfaction wasn't.
Probably one of the reasons why i don't have any primary school friends that wanted to contact me, well, that time i thought those were my friends, didn't really take into account people didn't like getting bullied. Even my closest friend who i had been with together for the whole 6 years, didn't want to talk to me, after so many years i found him through Facebook. Heh, who knows, i'm probably the few people in Malaysia who doesn't have primary or secondary school friends. As far as i am concerned, i only regretted about avoiding my secondary school friends as i would have tons of fun going here and there. However, it's not "real" fun because it seemed like the fun only required "bodies" to have with but no "soul" was needed.
It sounds sad but i guess i was ignorant about it when i was together with them until the very last few outings, so i probably only felt left out for a while. "Only a few outings and you ditched them forever?" Yeah, try and sit together with a bunch of people and seeing the persons sitting beside you talking to someone else AND not just once but several occasions. So me being the quiet one should always remain silent, isn't it?
*deep breath* anyways, after Form 3 i learned not to use my fists to do the talking, because it never truly worked to solve problems. But i was still ill-tempered at home, get a bit annoyed and i'll ape-shit and break into an argument. I only realized i had anger problems when i started to go to college, even though my mum constantly told me i am easily angered, which of course i was in denial. Things like this you just have to realize and deal with it yourself, nobody helped me with controlling my anger, i just constantly calm myself in my mind.
Well, that'll only suppress at the time, doesn't stop me from being pissed, as in effected emotionally about it. So where do i release all this steam kept in my mind? Best would be talk about it to a girl, because guys don't listen, but most of the time there won't be one suitable and available, probably people around me assume i'm not sensitive, but a serious person judging from my attitude in the real world. The next best solution would be here, only for the more emotional stuff though, minor stuffs that annoy me would probably end up in Twitter or Facebook only.
Have to be honest though, times like this, i will always want someone special sitting beside me. I would define this feeling as being lost and in need of someone to support you. Well, after sometime i would shrug it off, stare seriously into the distant, and get back up from where i fell. I just have to tell myself, "those wishes can only come true when you're asleep, you have bigger things to worry about."
Though to elaborate my point even further, yes, being single isn't detrimental, prime example would be Kimberley, though i could suggest she's an exception to the general rule. The high level of intelligence, confidence, stamina, charisma, and loving family & friends; there's very little room for that extra person in her life. People like me, i guess i'm the average joe, typically the person that doesn't have most of the things they are good at and have empty spaces that i need someone to fill in. I don't much to judge about Kim but, probably no one would like to have someone like me that is just average or maybe lower than average. I'm being really honest, i know who i am and where do i stand among others. It's not like i always feel lonely, i have friends and family that care about me but sad times like this, it's inevitable.
"Life's more than just love bla bla bla", yeah yeah, you may say otherwise and be positive about it but that's how i view singles go through their lives, it's only the level of "loneliness" which vary from one person to another, it doesn't change the fact that it DOES happen. I'm not saying this to demotivate the "single" readers but to simply see the reality of it. Of course, i could be well wrong about my opinions and views, there are people who stay single for the rest of their lives and they seem to be okay with it. Just saying, i'm not trying to generalise singles but to say out what i see and what i feel. Emotionally, i just think loving that someone takes first priority over everything else. Rationally, no, life's aims are too important to risk falling in love. Which will triumph, emotions or rationality? i can never be certain of the future, so here's funny pic just for fun.
FOREVER ALONE hahaha, just kidding, keep believing in yourselves, peeps.
25 November 2010
P.P Committee Summary & November Summary
Hopefully, this won't take too long to write, although i have the tendency to do otherwise.
Here's what happened in the Committee since August, yes it's hard keeping our work a secret and we kept it for two months. But i'll be able to elaborate only my part in it.
Late August 2010
My memories aren't that well but i think that's around the time Yan Nie and i start work on the "mystery game", though the story was of course was made together with all the members. As said in Kexin's blog, it's purpose was to draw much more attention to the events happening for the night instead of people running around taking pictures, which i think it's incurable, some Malaysians just have short attention spans.
Anyhow, the end result didn't matter for me as much as my partner, i enjoyed more in the process and in my work then what i would expect the majority of the audience to participate in the game. Yan Nie probably did most of the "material and personnel" work, finding actors, putting make ups etc, i haven't done much until she gathered the people to do the shooting, although there was some trouble finding a cheap shotgun mic which i thought my comp was compatible with, only partially though. Haven't used it for sometime now, wondering when again.
Enjoyed shooting the scenes, although i was "raining", it's actually my first time doing something to a certain level of profession. Even though it's my first experience, i thought to myself if i wasn't nervous, i probably could make better decisions where to shoot from, what angle to take.. etc. Lot of things were improvised before and upon shooting, but i guess it worked out at the end anyways. We had two shooting sessions and one just taking pictures, first session had most the scenes/voices to take and was the most tiring compared to the other shooting session. Surprisingly fun to do though, partly because at the end we did the scene with the Don(Ernest Wee) making jokes about the scene by changing the dialogues to cantonese, and was shot at my favourite place, Hobby Forge, thanks to Alvin Khaw for lending us a room from his shop.
September 2010
The other shooting session was.. surprising to me i guess, hailing from a small town, i guess i have to be in awe at Yan Nie and her friends' homes. But nice thing about that day is that i get to slap a girl.
I'm just kidding, i'm actually excited about getting a role in the story, which before the day of shooting, i trained myself on how to act and remember the lines, which probably wasn't effective.. but i guess i tried my best on such short notice.
Afterwards was mostly my main job in the committee, editing stuff, have to bear in mind around late September, my mum was admitted into the hospital, didn't do much around that time but accompany her.
My most satisfying work was the poster i guess, glad most people liked it and proud of it appearing almost everywhere.
Sometimes it was frustrating when i worked on the vids, lags, crashes or just plain unsatisfactory. But through it all, i guess i made the game possible since i didn't gave up.
October 2010
Still had a lot of editing of the videos and voices to do, the last photo shooting probably happened in this month. It was rather, short so to speak, set my camera up, Yan Nie did some make up on our sole character on that day and took a picture of her dead on the floor. Then we left, yeah really short.
Hmmm, probably all the personal stuffs happened start surface up even more at this point of time. Well, considering what i seen in November, i doubt this problems frustrated me a lot. This issues were either suspended or solved to my view, not gonna dwell in the past but what happened, happened i guess, if you can move on then i'm glad about it.
Prom auditions were held too, nice to see Brickfields students have some extraordinary talents, though some of them i could only praise them for their courage to audition. It was totally casual, nothing strict about it although we have high standards, it was clear who was in and out but there was like, abundant of singers and no dancers what so ever.
Oh yeah, guess i sprained my leg this month too, and to think it was when they decided to perform Michael Jackson on the stage. Super sad when i heard i could only fully recover in a couple of months but i guess it wasn't as serious as i thought.
November 2010
This month is probably when my work starts to branch to some other departments in the committee, first it was dancing, i probably only contributed in suggesting MJ's dance but i was also "specialised" in it too since it took me like a couple of practice to remember the dance and follow the music, no where good though. Even with a sprained leg, i guess i just have a lot of passion to dance and my life long dream to perform on a stage and in front of an audience.
My family said i was probably the first one to have the guts to get up on stage to perform, which was true, my brothers don't have that kind of interest.
I also branched to the "marketing department" of the committee i guess which Marcus and Mei Yen were in charge of, they needed my help as a sponsor wanted an ad to be designed by the committee's "designer". Since the sponsor was paying RM3000 for that ad, i guess my task seemed really serious and important but in actuality, i did little as to just compile the ads and demands the sponsor gave me and gave it a simple detailing to it. I felt a sense of great accomplishment though.
I did some help with the "Prom King and Queen" which Mei Quin was in charged of too, there was voice over scenes that needed me to do and introductory videos of the nominees too. I don't need to mention this, but you probably know why i say i really dislike one of the nominee, doing the person's intro vid was just disappointing.
The booklet, 70% of it was also made by me, strangely i didn't put my signature or anything to indicate i made them. Probably because it didn't really matter? i don't think people would steal my work though, that would be silly.
Last but not the least, the final day, i essentially do miscellaneous stuff, a bit of controlling the videos, guarding the door, performing on the stage, helping around etc.
I didn't quite stop working until the very final day, if there was an off day i probably would remember it because it was study and work for me everyday, probably a break or so but nothing i did for personal interest. Quite amazingly, time spent on the committee probably changed a few aspects about me, new experiences, new courage, new friends, new people i dislike, essentially i saw how i matured or probably how i deal with problems with increasingly effective ways. But for my final say, this kind of experience, i think i would gladly say i would only want it to happen once in my lifetime but then again, i probably be hypocritical and say i miss the times how i spent with the members, it was different than the usual hang outs; gives out a much more purpose in it.
The best thing about it has to be meeting people you occasionally see in college, but never seem to get to know each other, or talk in my case. A chance to know the capabilities/talents of this people when you'll never be able to in our normal daily lives and a chance to know more about a person. Even though i'm still quiet around them, i guess it didn't felt like i was left out, i actually felt like i was part of the group.
Here's what happened in the Committee since August, yes it's hard keeping our work a secret and we kept it for two months. But i'll be able to elaborate only my part in it.
Late August 2010
My memories aren't that well but i think that's around the time Yan Nie and i start work on the "mystery game", though the story was of course was made together with all the members. As said in Kexin's blog, it's purpose was to draw much more attention to the events happening for the night instead of people running around taking pictures, which i think it's incurable, some Malaysians just have short attention spans.
Anyhow, the end result didn't matter for me as much as my partner, i enjoyed more in the process and in my work then what i would expect the majority of the audience to participate in the game. Yan Nie probably did most of the "material and personnel" work, finding actors, putting make ups etc, i haven't done much until she gathered the people to do the shooting, although there was some trouble finding a cheap shotgun mic which i thought my comp was compatible with, only partially though. Haven't used it for sometime now, wondering when again.
Enjoyed shooting the scenes, although i was "raining", it's actually my first time doing something to a certain level of profession. Even though it's my first experience, i thought to myself if i wasn't nervous, i probably could make better decisions where to shoot from, what angle to take.. etc. Lot of things were improvised before and upon shooting, but i guess it worked out at the end anyways. We had two shooting sessions and one just taking pictures, first session had most the scenes/voices to take and was the most tiring compared to the other shooting session. Surprisingly fun to do though, partly because at the end we did the scene with the Don(Ernest Wee) making jokes about the scene by changing the dialogues to cantonese, and was shot at my favourite place, Hobby Forge, thanks to Alvin Khaw for lending us a room from his shop.
September 2010
The other shooting session was.. surprising to me i guess, hailing from a small town, i guess i have to be in awe at Yan Nie and her friends' homes. But nice thing about that day is that i get to slap a girl.
I'm just kidding, i'm actually excited about getting a role in the story, which before the day of shooting, i trained myself on how to act and remember the lines, which probably wasn't effective.. but i guess i tried my best on such short notice.
Afterwards was mostly my main job in the committee, editing stuff, have to bear in mind around late September, my mum was admitted into the hospital, didn't do much around that time but accompany her.
My most satisfying work was the poster i guess, glad most people liked it and proud of it appearing almost everywhere.
Sometimes it was frustrating when i worked on the vids, lags, crashes or just plain unsatisfactory. But through it all, i guess i made the game possible since i didn't gave up.
October 2010
Still had a lot of editing of the videos and voices to do, the last photo shooting probably happened in this month. It was rather, short so to speak, set my camera up, Yan Nie did some make up on our sole character on that day and took a picture of her dead on the floor. Then we left, yeah really short.
Hmmm, probably all the personal stuffs happened start surface up even more at this point of time. Well, considering what i seen in November, i doubt this problems frustrated me a lot. This issues were either suspended or solved to my view, not gonna dwell in the past but what happened, happened i guess, if you can move on then i'm glad about it.
Prom auditions were held too, nice to see Brickfields students have some extraordinary talents, though some of them i could only praise them for their courage to audition. It was totally casual, nothing strict about it although we have high standards, it was clear who was in and out but there was like, abundant of singers and no dancers what so ever.
Oh yeah, guess i sprained my leg this month too, and to think it was when they decided to perform Michael Jackson on the stage. Super sad when i heard i could only fully recover in a couple of months but i guess it wasn't as serious as i thought.
November 2010
This month is probably when my work starts to branch to some other departments in the committee, first it was dancing, i probably only contributed in suggesting MJ's dance but i was also "specialised" in it too since it took me like a couple of practice to remember the dance and follow the music, no where good though. Even with a sprained leg, i guess i just have a lot of passion to dance and my life long dream to perform on a stage and in front of an audience.
My family said i was probably the first one to have the guts to get up on stage to perform, which was true, my brothers don't have that kind of interest.
I also branched to the "marketing department" of the committee i guess which Marcus and Mei Yen were in charge of, they needed my help as a sponsor wanted an ad to be designed by the committee's "designer". Since the sponsor was paying RM3000 for that ad, i guess my task seemed really serious and important but in actuality, i did little as to just compile the ads and demands the sponsor gave me and gave it a simple detailing to it. I felt a sense of great accomplishment though.
I did some help with the "Prom King and Queen" which Mei Quin was in charged of too, there was voice over scenes that needed me to do and introductory videos of the nominees too. I don't need to mention this, but you probably know why i say i really dislike one of the nominee, doing the person's intro vid was just disappointing.
The booklet, 70% of it was also made by me, strangely i didn't put my signature or anything to indicate i made them. Probably because it didn't really matter? i don't think people would steal my work though, that would be silly.
Last but not the least, the final day, i essentially do miscellaneous stuff, a bit of controlling the videos, guarding the door, performing on the stage, helping around etc.
I didn't quite stop working until the very final day, if there was an off day i probably would remember it because it was study and work for me everyday, probably a break or so but nothing i did for personal interest. Quite amazingly, time spent on the committee probably changed a few aspects about me, new experiences, new courage, new friends, new people i dislike, essentially i saw how i matured or probably how i deal with problems with increasingly effective ways. But for my final say, this kind of experience, i think i would gladly say i would only want it to happen once in my lifetime but then again, i probably be hypocritical and say i miss the times how i spent with the members, it was different than the usual hang outs; gives out a much more purpose in it.
The best thing about it has to be meeting people you occasionally see in college, but never seem to get to know each other, or talk in my case. A chance to know the capabilities/talents of this people when you'll never be able to in our normal daily lives and a chance to know more about a person. Even though i'm still quiet around them, i guess it didn't felt like i was left out, i actually felt like i was part of the group.
22 November 2010
Freedom that costs.
Lots to talk about, but i'll just leave a short post for an upcoming long post.
Proud of my work,
Loved the people who came,
Loved the people who controlled lights and sound,
Loved the people who participated during the night,
Loved the performers, mostly,
and missing the ones i worked with and probably won't ever spent as much time as we did before.
Missing every passing seconds of you all.
Proud of my work,
Loved the people who came,
Loved the people who controlled lights and sound,
Loved the people who participated during the night,
Loved the performers, mostly,
and missing the ones i worked with and probably won't ever spent as much time as we did before.
Missing every passing seconds of you all.
12 November 2010
Justifying my emotions.
I still can't ignore the fact that most of my friends aren't coming for the prom.
If i did not thought of them as close friends, i wouldn't be able to justify what i'm feeling throughout the times when i work on it, or even right now.
Members, no need to question my conviction to make this a success, i just wish my friends had given me more purpose.
This friendship, in a way that i can only describe, is slowly fading away for you.
I won't do anything as immature as boycotting hang outs, or when would even have once in a blue moon.
No, as a friend, as a "Yes Man", if one of my friends was going to plan the prom for the next year, i'll definitely go, regardless of the ticket price, time constraint, transportation problem, or any excuse that could come up. Heck, i'll even go and support the prom committee even if i didn't know them, just because i knew how hard it was to plan one.
Could've just said this in front of them, but i'm just always trying to look into your heart, trying to justify how you gave me the reasons for not coming was of good faith and was also regretting to not able to come, too bad i can't read minds.
Again, i don't blame you, i just blame myself of thinking too much and being too considerate. This is just my opinion, if this does not reflect upon your thinking, you are free to criticise me in the internet or in person.
It's kinda quiet lately.
If i did not thought of them as close friends, i wouldn't be able to justify what i'm feeling throughout the times when i work on it, or even right now.
Members, no need to question my conviction to make this a success, i just wish my friends had given me more purpose.
This friendship, in a way that i can only describe, is slowly fading away for you.
I won't do anything as immature as boycotting hang outs, or when would even have once in a blue moon.
No, as a friend, as a "Yes Man", if one of my friends was going to plan the prom for the next year, i'll definitely go, regardless of the ticket price, time constraint, transportation problem, or any excuse that could come up. Heck, i'll even go and support the prom committee even if i didn't know them, just because i knew how hard it was to plan one.
Could've just said this in front of them, but i'm just always trying to look into your heart, trying to justify how you gave me the reasons for not coming was of good faith and was also regretting to not able to come, too bad i can't read minds.
Again, i don't blame you, i just blame myself of thinking too much and being too considerate. This is just my opinion, if this does not reflect upon your thinking, you are free to criticise me in the internet or in person.
It's kinda quiet lately.
06 November 2010
Looking beyond what is in front of us.
Usually, my hands get itchy to write something in my blog after two or three days of posting the last one, but i just don't seem to have enough alone time + writing time this passing few days. Though either good or bad, more material for me to write if the gap between posts furthers apart more from each other.
Currently, leg condition is getting, either really slowly or i'm just ignoring it. But since i could start practising dances, i guess i'm coping with it while slowly recovering? I'm just glad i can join with the committee members and others to practice our performance. Dancing is something i'll never say no to, given the chance. However, i guess with limited movement on my right leg, it's tough practising while focusing most of the weight on the other one. Hopefully it recovers to 70-80% functionality before prom, could've practice better if it weren't for my leg.
Anyhow, honestly, my first time practising with a bunch of people and counting steps, all the while i've been free-styling and just moving to the beat of the music, no choreography what so ever. New experience for me but it is actually fun and exciting. I need to put 150% effort more than others though, since i have problem following counts and dance to the beat, not to mention the defective leg i currently have to deal with. Really disappoints me to wake up every day, thinking it has finally healed but the second i move it, reality kicks in.
Holidays for me probably just equals more time for prom work and assignments, though have to admit i still procrastinate from time to time. Before you know it, classes are about to start again. Can't say after prom i'll be free of miscellaneous stuffs to do, there's still videos to edit, models to paint, exercise, etc..
Sad thing about the end of the prom would be, things will be back to the way it is, or most of it. The times with Yannie, Mei Yen, Mei Quin, Kexin, Xiao Hui, Su Ann, May Jean, Wan Ching, Marcus, Kean Hoe and Asyraf.. yeah, it'll probably just stop around there. Don't know about you all, but it really saddens me in a way. We may see each other every now and then, although not as often. But what happened, did happen. I worked in the prom with you all did not meant we only had a professional relationship, if it was i would be constantly backstabbing or in disagreement with people against me, in the end i treat everyone no better or worse but with respect and giving my full cooperation whenever needed, whenever possible.
In a way, I see this only as a test, with all this; working under pressure, delays, setbacks, issues, unsatisfactory results..etc ; show ourselves who we really are and how we deal with it. For me, i see it as a test for my tolerance to others, will i either put our friendship in jeopardy and insist on giving the best prom through my eyes; or should i be understanding and be cooperative what ever the members suggest. It may well be important for us to professionally do our jobs, but it is equally important to remind ourselves this is not a real business, in a sense that if it was, we would be stepping on each others head to gain the top seat, to be the one in charge, in other words, the hunger for control and power would consume us.
If we break under pressure, what comes after unable to cope with pressure? You become inefficient, irresponsible, irrational, emotional. You start to panic or slack. Fed up of coming up a solution with individuals, blaming each other, stuck in a mess. But mainly, unmotivated to do your job.
In a real company, a person would've quit, no one would have cared; but i remind myself, this is not a company, this is a group of people, who volunteered to work with each other, a team that catches who ever is falling, friends that band together to reach the same goal.
This is my final say, no more rambling on the past, i just want to remind the people who had joined, that despite mistakes, don't matter if it was serious or not, just don't take it in too deep because you were friends, we're still humans, we make stupid choices, we decide them emotionally, but they are definitely, forgiveable, because do you remember? you were once friends. If you do not feel the same way, if you never thought you were friends with each other; You should at least, not hate the person just for his mistakes, because hate is a very harsh and bold emotion that you should only used when it is really needed.
This is Jake, wishing everyone can see the world a little brighter than they think it is.
Acceptance and understanding is key to a peaceful compromise.
Currently, leg condition is getting, either really slowly or i'm just ignoring it. But since i could start practising dances, i guess i'm coping with it while slowly recovering? I'm just glad i can join with the committee members and others to practice our performance. Dancing is something i'll never say no to, given the chance. However, i guess with limited movement on my right leg, it's tough practising while focusing most of the weight on the other one. Hopefully it recovers to 70-80% functionality before prom, could've practice better if it weren't for my leg.
Anyhow, honestly, my first time practising with a bunch of people and counting steps, all the while i've been free-styling and just moving to the beat of the music, no choreography what so ever. New experience for me but it is actually fun and exciting. I need to put 150% effort more than others though, since i have problem following counts and dance to the beat, not to mention the defective leg i currently have to deal with. Really disappoints me to wake up every day, thinking it has finally healed but the second i move it, reality kicks in.
Holidays for me probably just equals more time for prom work and assignments, though have to admit i still procrastinate from time to time. Before you know it, classes are about to start again. Can't say after prom i'll be free of miscellaneous stuffs to do, there's still videos to edit, models to paint, exercise, etc..
Sad thing about the end of the prom would be, things will be back to the way it is, or most of it. The times with Yannie, Mei Yen, Mei Quin, Kexin, Xiao Hui, Su Ann, May Jean, Wan Ching, Marcus, Kean Hoe and Asyraf.. yeah, it'll probably just stop around there. Don't know about you all, but it really saddens me in a way. We may see each other every now and then, although not as often. But what happened, did happen. I worked in the prom with you all did not meant we only had a professional relationship, if it was i would be constantly backstabbing or in disagreement with people against me, in the end i treat everyone no better or worse but with respect and giving my full cooperation whenever needed, whenever possible.
In a way, I see this only as a test, with all this; working under pressure, delays, setbacks, issues, unsatisfactory results..etc ; show ourselves who we really are and how we deal with it. For me, i see it as a test for my tolerance to others, will i either put our friendship in jeopardy and insist on giving the best prom through my eyes; or should i be understanding and be cooperative what ever the members suggest. It may well be important for us to professionally do our jobs, but it is equally important to remind ourselves this is not a real business, in a sense that if it was, we would be stepping on each others head to gain the top seat, to be the one in charge, in other words, the hunger for control and power would consume us.
If we break under pressure, what comes after unable to cope with pressure? You become inefficient, irresponsible, irrational, emotional. You start to panic or slack. Fed up of coming up a solution with individuals, blaming each other, stuck in a mess. But mainly, unmotivated to do your job.
In a real company, a person would've quit, no one would have cared; but i remind myself, this is not a company, this is a group of people, who volunteered to work with each other, a team that catches who ever is falling, friends that band together to reach the same goal.
This is my final say, no more rambling on the past, i just want to remind the people who had joined, that despite mistakes, don't matter if it was serious or not, just don't take it in too deep because you were friends, we're still humans, we make stupid choices, we decide them emotionally, but they are definitely, forgiveable, because do you remember? you were once friends. If you do not feel the same way, if you never thought you were friends with each other; You should at least, not hate the person just for his mistakes, because hate is a very harsh and bold emotion that you should only used when it is really needed.
This is Jake, wishing everyone can see the world a little brighter than they think it is.
Acceptance and understanding is key to a peaceful compromise.
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