...and so we move on.

Again, only more than a week had passed since i last posted, yet it feels like a month had passed.

Exams are finally over, they really are. Change comes after, probably.

Right next day, i woke up pretty late, i promised to pick up Qian Yi afterwards so arriving at KLCC is much certainly not going to be on time. I don't know why I'm still doing these "things" but opportunity presents itself, it's hard not to take it. It probably looks like we're going out but not really, she just seems to go "OK" almost every time I offer my help. At the end, nothing really happens, awkward moments yes, i find it really weird to walk with a girl not holding hands nor making much of an interesting conversation together, just plain weird. I know i should be doing something about it, but i can't.

Anyways.. as expected, Pirates of the Carribean was just a bit higher than good, cause it reminded me of the first one, both are similar in that everyone races to get something, either it was a treasure or a curse. The hall was packed, after the movie only then i knew most of the friends had actually came to watch. As far as i know since the time i planned to get the ticket, nobody ever mentioned wanting to go together, yet there they were..

It didn't really bother me much, I suppose i just accepted it. I have friends but, I belonged to no group, 

at the moment.

Which is what i have been looking forward to the holidays, it helps me avoid these 'half-truths'. I'm better off believing It's just me who had changed, and because of that change, it has become what it is 'today'.

But I'm still subconsciously longing for the past, just yesterday midnight. I watch a movie called Shao Lin, i don't know why, i usually get a bit teary when i watch sad ones. But after watching about half way through, i started to cry. Tears just started to flow, emotions flooding into my mind, full of guilt, full of sorrow. I cried and cried, mostly because i could relate a lot about the teachings of Buddhism and reflect them on my life, mostly where i went and what is so wrong about this world. Even after the movie had ended, i still continued to cry, not loudly of course, i tried really hard not to, this is my first time that i can't control crying at all. When i think about the past in college, my mind easily tells me that "i want things to be the same as they were".

Quite pathetic actually, I cried myself to sleep. I'm confused.

But at least i try to move on.