05 May 2011

Less than 3 weeks. Dream talk again.

Counting the coming days, anxious.

I dream a lot of weird stuff recently, so far there has been 3 or 4 dreams that were exceptionally different and of course, remembered them although vividly. But i have to say, it revolves around my past memories, what makes it a dream is because they are mixed together, making no sense after i wake up but when i dream, i refuse to wake up into reality.

There first dream was about some sort time travelling, but only consciousness was went back and into my younger body. I travelled back to a time before i got my SPM results, the start of the dream was confusing, i was still like i was at that time at school when i was still with my secondary school friends, before suddenly my future conscious just strikes into me. All that present memories field my mind, drove me into a state of silent despair. Soon after that was the trigger for me to wake up, but before i woke up for some reason i told the results to the friends around me.

The second dream was more matrix-like. I've lost most of the incidents that happen but it involved me trapped inside a virtual world, the only event i can remember is when the world was crumbling, as if something is terrorizing it because people were running to the opposite we were going. Yeah, there were people stuck in the world too but i can only three which is Kean Hoe, Thomas and MJ. For some reason MJ looked tired and her hair looked messy, i remembered it because i waved at her and then said hello to Thomas, she only dizzily looked at me while a slight nod was given by him. Kean Hoe was behind, i assume we were walking together. The place we were moving on seemed like huge large bridge that was going up that would not work in the real world. It was high up in the sky i guess, while in the distant, a giant worm/dragon was flying in thunder clouds. The last thing that happen before i woke up was actually calling somebody to the real world with my phone, i called Kim and excitingly told her we were trapped inside a computer or something. Probably the sudden realisation i would never actually call her in real life woke me up. Not that i don't want to but.. hey i don't voluntarily call any reason except if we're going and we need to contact each other on our whereabouts bla bla bla ok i'll stop here.

The third dream is fuzzy although i just had it yesterday, it's more of country-side feel to it, for unknown reason, the people i know and i live in an area that looks like the paddy fields in Kelantan. I can only remember the whole dream as 'betrayal', in the sense i guess they are taken by the fact that i abandon friends and the dream twist it so i 'betray' both secondary school and college friends at the end.

I really hate this dreams, i wake up feeling screwed up them and told myself it's not real, you know how real dreams get when it's close to reality. I don't need to watch Inception to know that dreaming can literally play with reality and hurt you, but in my experience, it only makes me cry waking up or feeling pissed.

Thank goodness i'm still me after countless dreams like that. I wouldn't consider them nightmares because they don't exactly scare me, just annoying. But no matter what, dreams always felt more real than reality itself. Without realising it was a dream, i would really believe that was my life if i don't wake up. Because it always seem to be a better version of my life. I guess that's why i could never get enough sleep no matter when i sleep, i always wake up feeling like crap.

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