The chapter of my life.

To tell you the truth, i haven't been dandy for a while, it's partly because of family matters affecting my personal life. I don't know if you know but i have a nephew recently, son of my eldest brother, his name's Li An. Much more recently, after a month due to family matters, my brother's living back at home, hence my nephew too, at first I was happy about it but later developed some level of stress from helping to take care of him because again, due to family matters.

I hardly have a peaceful time doing my things without being periodically help feed the baby and generally calm the baby, a cry from him makes me want to stab my own ears. I don't know how long I can take it before i snap like my mother had a few days ago, i seriously hate problems caused in the family and especially the ones who cause it. As far as i can tell you, I'm not suppose to be even bothered by the up-bringing of the child if not for ignorant fools, my mother is made to suffer because of their decisions, suffice to say, their actions or omissions may very affect my nephew's health. I'm only helping because i want to alleviate some of the pain my mother's experiencing, for God's sake she's getting in her 60's. Sigh.. i need to tell this to someone in person, the steam i coop up just hasn't been completely released, family problems, i have too many.

The only thing i can do to avoid stressing myself out is living a night life, that's why i started to make videos during midnight instead of in the daytime. Going out on weekends to play some wargames also helps but not alot, because i'm already mentally stressed out afterwards. I guess what's lacking is somebody to talk to about it and of course generally talking to no one outside of my home every passing weekdays. I guess i'm experiencing the consequences of not having the initiative to interact with someone. Wait all I want, i'm not gonna sit down with friends for another three more months if i remain like this.

The chapter of my life.