I'm feeling so many things right now. Mostly negative.

I haven't posted anything normal throughout this days. So god damn moody that i'm getting sick of it. Probably makes no sense at all to some of the readers, sorry about that but posts like this will continue to be made until i get better. Though i think i'm ready to take another step higher, to clarify some things.

To actually think i wrote that i'm a changed man just a few days ago, i feel so pathetic right now.

I'm confident? Hahahah, if i'm writing this here, knowing you'll see this literally indicates i'm a coward in person who doesn't have the guts to say i have feelings for you because i'm scared of the answer you would give me.

Yes, you, the one i've always been writing indirectly and secretly about. I couldn't agree more with you, i have absolutely no confidence to even have a proper conversation with you. I didn't want to let my mind off of you, it's been so long since i've seen and talked to you, that i lost that feeling. I thought it was ok for me, i thought getting over you will let me focus more important things in my life.

Who knew, the next day, i was burden by a lot of family pressure, so bad that i got all moody, i was in no mood in college, i felt frustrated and so confused. I was angry at myself, why am i pouring out my feelings to innocent people around me? They were not in any fault at all, it was only me.

Then now i asked myself, did i have peace before this? When thoughts of you filled my mind all day without fail? I wish all this stress would've released right now, i wish all this hate in me immediately goes away, i wish you would be "free".

I sound so obsessive right now, i feel like i'm a loser making excuses for his losses, i don't know why am i writing so recklessly, maybe i'm too tired to think rationally.