Haven't been able to post this out cause of time constraint, tried writing late at night but was too tired to think of something.
it's been a while, hahah i don't how many times i said that but i think whenever i say that it really means a lot had happened, which made me think there have been quite sometime each time i blogged.
I would say the holiday had kept me busy from blogging, although i don't really see what i did was productive in any sort; i gambled(who doesn't?) with my family and relatives, won a little, visited my aunt at Damansara, gave some goodies to my English tuition teacher and a guy that fetched to school when i was studying in secondary school. Build up my miniatures which took me a day to finish, i wouldn't i'm just building them because i'm addicted, it's just nice to do something peaceful and only concerns yourself as oppose to the busy week we're all having.
After that it was nothing more than just visiting another aunt at Seremban, didn't get to gamble with them but had a nice dinner with them. Oh and i learned how to play Sudoku while loitering at her house hahah. Gambled some more at home and played random games in the computer.
Lost about 150 bucks on the last gamble, luckily it was just between family so no harm was really done. Lessoned learned during this CNY, gamble is bad, only when you lose, hahah.
Well CNY probably brought out the worst of me, selfish, greed and laziness. Quite surprisingly i didn't went "Bai Nian" with any of my secondary school friends, i could say it's because i would rather spend time with my family, since much has already spent outside and my father's already complaining about it. The other reason would be.. well i just want to end this.. i don't have it in me anymore.. that's called friendship, i just don't think meeting back each other means anything; we were friends before but what about now? There was no place for me in their group, the closest friends i thought i had doesn't really care, the feeling of getting invited by them felt like it had to be done solely for the reason of "we were once friends".
When i think about it, we didn't share anything deep, let alone feelings of each other, we only played and studied together all the time. I spent most of my secondary school life in silent, only thinking so much to myself it made me sick, i had no chance of letting out my thoughts from my mind to them.
So just stop contacting me, Just think of me as the bad guy who ditched you all. Even if some of you still believe otherwise, i don't, i don't have anything left from you, i thought i had so much between us but you all made me realize i had nothing. I was so naive and stupid to think that way.
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