Actually, i have no idea who i am now, something just doesn't seem right about me. Life's not bad, with a little bit of serious, a little bit of fun. Sometimes when you reach a point of nothing really bad ever happens to your life, you would get irritated with the smallest of details, you would be insensitive when you say things.
The truth is, well, i don't have much to write about right now, i pretty much said all i can say, at the end it'll just be another post about my daily life. I really am grateful to the people around me, tolerating my temper and all that coldness i've been giving. Yeah, i don't how much is true about your words, i don't seem like the kind person everyone says, i've been cold socially, all i have done is posting videos and writing how i'm happy about it.
But, what about the real me? Those descriptions don't exactly match me at all, i'm shy? i'm kind? i'm thoughtful? i'm smart? Who were you talking about?
I have been selfish all the time, have you ever thought why i did all this video? Was it really just because for you all? The cold truth about it though, is that i was just thinking for myself, how i would be acknowledged as a friend to people. By doing this, i can lie about the way i am when you see me, that i have an excuse to be an ass. Don't you think it's weird i would suddenly be sarcastic about something you said? Don't you think i'm just holding back my frustration that i would say it was you who caused it but in actuality, it is really just me?
Who's to say that is not true? Who are you making friends with, the one making these videos and posting stuffs here or the real me standing in front of you? I don't know what you're thinking, honestly, the virtual me is just too different from the real me.
This is probably the first time, i'm not emotional or anything when i post this, i'm dead serious. I hate this identity crisis i have made myself, i'll never correct it.
The real me, the one you never to talk to either because i don't begin a conversation or you just totally have no interest in talking to this guy in front of you, why? It's because he's ill-tempered, is inconsiderate, is unsocial, is selfish, is greedy but at the same time both optimistic and deceitful about it. Think about this when you really want to me. I say this because i just want to be acknowledged and accepted as the person that is in front of you, not the one in the internet, not the one in the blog. I only want the truth, is it that hard to tell me?
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