Why are you so free?

Another special place to blog, and this time it’s inside a train.Since i have like 45 minutes of just sitting there daydreaming, why not do something i haven’t been doing for a couple of days now.

Anyways, interesting as it is, i just haven’t had enough time. Note that even though we don’t have time for certain things, i believe we’re still free in some ways, we’re free to think for ourselves, free to talk, free to feel, free to live.

For me i rather think i’m free because of what i did or didn’t do something. I’m free from commitment, i’m in no relationship to be responsible of, thus, i’m also free to love somebody. Some say one-sided love hurts, i would first agree but then again, what if it stops hurting and could still love her?

At least i have something to hold  on to, in fact, everyone will to a certain full extent, believing in something to grasp a hold of reality, to not give up; Some will seek God for hope and peace but some will rather believe in fate and hold themselves than believing others. Couples will support each other in all their times of needs and what will continue that support, is love.

I admit, for me, it hurts not to be loved back, but what about when you want to love someone more than being loved? So simple yet so many people would rather feel the phrase contradictory and naive. In the long run though, a crush is still crush, loving is still loving, i believe in fate, i believe in myself. You’re right but so as i, the world is full of contradictions yet we still live in harmony because we have something in common, we believe in something.

Honestly though, what have i been doing this pass two months? All my blogs are all certain views and feelings, only some of it concerns something physical and factual. Lets just summarize March and April.

March/April 2010

All i can say is, this month is considerably the most stressful month i had, obligations, complains, responsibilities, problems with myself and with everyone, getting sick, getting emotional and all that crap i went through.

I didn’t had time for Warhammer, i hate the lazy shopkeeper who keeps delaying the orders and being irresponsible for his business. I was drilling at studies, made me anti-social and temperament, i was making videos all weekend, neglecting my family and friends. Similarly everyone had such problems to some point.

Still, i manage to enjoy even in these circumstances, i still grasp on to hope and commitment, i try to spend more time with my family, i try to hang out with friends as much as possible, i try to help friends in need, i try and support my friends decisions, i try to control not to be too direct, i try not to be annoyed by petty things and instead, just be direct about it,

What i’ve done this pass two months.

I completed in making my kroots, sprayed a few, painted two.

I took some pictures i think they look cool.

I made a couple of episodes which i think some are awesome.

I learned how to count beats for music and improve my dancing

I learned some basic knowledge about popping, credits to Junior. 

I got a codex/book for my army of miniatures for gaming. 

I learned how to paint my miniatures thanks to Marcus. 

I learned anything can happen, especially love. 

I have strengthen my studies with the drills i’ve taken.

I think someone likes me but i have no intention to get in one. 

I realize i’m easily paranoid and become suspicious of simple things. 

I learned a few roads around KL. 

I managed to keep secrets when i’m told to.

Well that’s about it, i’m getting off the train now, posting this the very next time i have internet.