Over a week had passed, i prefer to think that it is a good thing, life's every sad moments does not affect as much as it used to. Could be that i found my way back, looking at it from a higher view. Every once in a while i like to review my life, for better or worse.
From 2009 to 2011. Life's had never constantly changed as much as before and i foresee that there's still more coming my way. However, changes are more of towards life between friends.
Mid to late 2009, was the peak level, the happiest time of my life. Everything that you can hope for being with friends seemed possible, fun, trustworthy, reliable, helpful, interesting, kind and the rest of it. It feels more of a dream if i don't look at the videos, but because of the videos, i know they are real to me. This part of it, from being ignored to being appreciated and loved.
2010, There has to come a time everything settles down and people change through time, something i knew yet i deny. Probably the most unstable year of my life with all that has happened. There's still memorable times nevertheless, just that the sensitiveness and denial nature of mine made me unable to cope with such changes. What i don't like about myself is that i'm unable to think clearly when emotions cloud my mind.
But what happens, had happened, the turn of events gradually gets worse, up until now, somehow i'm forced back to living a life similarly in 2008 but probably even worse. Adapting back a lonely life is one thing, adapting a life that needs to rely on myself is another thing. It's mostly the latter part that bugged me.
But that's that, life's about moving on so eventually, i'll get by it, although it takes a longer time for me to do so.
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Anyways, summary time, having a hard time to remember the past nowadays, could be that i don't keep track of it with photos or vids anymore and practically most of the times i spent are with myself and my studies.
My February 2011 Summary
1. Studies and assignments all month long.
2. Didn't do much during CNY, went to pray a bit at the shrine at my town, went to visit Uncle and Aunt Tan for a while and they come to visit us too. No "Bai Nian" with friends for this year.
3.Games commonly fill my spare time.
4. Painting models again, aiming to finish painting most of my army before my semester break.
Probably my salvation from such a mediocre and dull social life was to get back into wargaming. No personal attachment involves when i go to the shop and play, cause every weekend i get to play with people that shows one common interest and i rather have that than having to trouble myself with my social issues. I feel comfortable where everyone just focuses on the passion of the hobby.
I'm not saying i'm forgetting my friends but, reality as i see it, that friendship had subsided for most people, even i really hold the belief that it is not true but as "often" become "seldom", i need to move on. From the majority of our paths had made it possible for all of us to gather under one class. Now we slowly separate into different paths, choosing our own groups, bonding deeper with only certain friends, couples formed and new paths that had also intermingled at some point.
And i chose the path, the only path that is present for me, a free man.
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