But let me just say this.
Things are complicated, when i do nothing about it.
Secondary school friends, my mum made me realized i kept using the "friends" for them, how hypocritical of myself.
"If they were not my friends, they should be your enemy wor." Mum said.
To be exact, they weren't enemies either, ex-friends as i considered. But what i didn't admit was why i kept saying friends. Do i miss them? No, but merely they are "once were and always will be", as i only knew them 'then', i don't know the 'now' of them.
Now? now i'm living a weird life, i don't know how to deal with it properly, i've always been 'going through the flow' kinda guy, this stage of my life just hits a turn I know why things turn out this way - the reasons for my solitude, i've tried to turn it back - tried to make plans to have the group gather. Things just got, quiet.
When i think about it, about the time i broke/damaged my ligaments in my knees, is the time everything changed, i was no longer active in physical sports, no longer actively dancing, gradually slipped away from society bla bla bla, just thinking about it makes me sick.
Am i that incapable of living normally with these legs, useless without a camera, hopeless without the three close friends at my side? It's like everything i had, was taken for granted, and to punish me.
There are things i can't tell my family nor can they truly help me, those things are left for people i call... i don't know what they are really called, but there are virtually none left, what's left is here. Maybe this is how God showing who i truly am, i'm a manipulator.
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