How long has it been since i started blogging... probably only a little bit more than 7 months and i've already reached the 100th post, but i will always be reminded of what the first post and the subsequent ones after it, what made to start bloggin; to start opening myself from a different way to other people which would almost be impossible in reality. However, it started with much grief over family & friends, i was so emo that i think the posts that expressed my sadness and every negative crap, were almost as childish and naive as the secondary school of me.
I have to admit though, only much recently, i felt.. something changed.. although i still can't truly notice what it is but something definitely change, from whatever recently i have encountered in college. It almost seems like i had finally be able to see a different view in life; the usual way of thinking of love, friends, family was ever changing so fast, back and forth, again and again until i managed to understand to think from another person's POV(point of view) and not only from mine; how everyone may think and feel of whatever i'm doing or whatever they are doing in every single situation.
Currently, don't think much about why i can't get girl but i would rather think much more about how being single can truly be great sometimes. Seriously although there are times i would think why i wouldn't hit on a girl is probably because, i just don't want to, maybe subconsciously. I pretty much like just having 'girl' friends rather than trying hard to get have a relationship or something, honestly now i would think it's just that nice being single not that i'm saying being in a couple is bad, in fact it's even better too. I would say this.. because just observing couples, i can sense some things that a couple would share with each other and not with others which truly seems sweet.
Thinking back, i have thought a lot about love for quite an amount of time i guess so i pretty much know what's good about it what's bad about it, aside from the usual "You can only look at her/him and no one else." problem, sooner or later to maintain a relationship you probably can't just have love for each other, you may need the important things like - conviction to maintain the relationship, determination to improve the relationship, tolerance with each other, understanding towards each other, trusting each other, share almost everything with each other, etc. All in all, a lot of responsibilities to uphold if you're serious about a girl/guy. Even if one of these you don't managed to achieve, you'll see that your relationship will become shaky.
Sigh, that's probably one of the reasons i think i'm naive, so i have thought this through hard and long so i think i'm still not ready yet, heck, i already have problems with friends, forget about getting girls, i have to maintain my friendships first hahah. Again though, i seriously wish friends would be more willing to trust each other because.. there's always some things that you can only tell a friend and maybe not even your family, that's why again, i said being single and having great friends are one of the best things i could have in life, without them, i probably will go back to being emo and lonely.
Hence, i put respect and trust towards my friends, no matter how they would treat me back or not, in my heart, i'd still say "yo, we friends, that's all it matters.". It is too, part of my way of thinking and moral teachings of my religion.
Even if a person you hate or don't like, a person that has negative intentions or thinkings towards and against you; be it your family, your friend or even your enemy; You, shall treat that person, as good as any kind and caring person would have. To show neither hate nor anger towards that person, would be one of the greatest challenges a man could overcome, such would be an indication of being a person, not a beast.
In the past i've always have a doubtful mind towards friends, unable to fully trust them, always thinking things that are made up by myself. Well now i guess i just don't really care about much how i think about friends anymore because.. i've lost so many good friends in the process. Now, i guess i'm just thinking how much longer can we see each other.. hopefully much more longer than would expect.
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