Still busy. i think even more.

Finding a hard time to blog now, life's been filling up my weeks in all kinds of ways recently, mostly for the better.

So what's new? so far classes are just getting started. i haven't really shared or talked much with my friends recently, you know who i'm talking about. Didn't really made any new friends as others has wondered, but you can say i've "rekindled" some candles, since voluntarily working for the prom planning committee though, i've met some new faces and old faces, more or less we've enjoyed working together as from what i've seen, i don't like to get into disagreements but i guess it's unavoidable when people are too stubborn to sacrifice and accept opinions or ideas to get into a compromise. I wonder why is it so hard to trust then to doubt someone's capabilities or to grant someone's wishes and forgo your own for their happiness.

I'm surprised that i'm the only one who had emphasized this matter thus far in my blog. Why the sexism? why the attitude? why the bad-mouthing? Why the hate?

Where's your compassion? this isn't a business or a company as far as i treat and believe it as so, and i treat my members as equals, as friends; not my boss or my subordinates for any matter. Everyone should do their very best and just be forgiving of each other, maybe until the prom has been finished, either successfully or not we went through  sweat and tears together.

If you value a person by how much he/she works and the quality of it, your going to be everyone's boss and everyone will quit their job. If you had something valuable taken away from you, like you're position/job/task and dim the person as bad and became frustrated and angry in the process, then you're as clueless as the frog in the well and as childish as a kid who got his/her toy taken away.

Seriously, love each other, forgive each other, just don't hate and curse a person. You're better than that. If i'm wrong then criticize me, i'm open to any arguments that are against or supporting me. I will always stay by how i live and the codes i follow.

This is me telling my readers that life is easier when you don't take things too serious about it.

Firsts.

Since i'm lazy to post real stuff, here's something from Facebook. [20th September 2010]

1. Who was your FIRST crush?

 Back when I was in primary school, first grade, can't remember her name, Qian Hui? Nah doesn't sound right.

  

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST crush?

No, haven't seen her for years after secondary school until one time i saw, immediately asked myself why i had a crushed on her in the first place?

  

3. What was your FIRST favorite drink (besides water)?

 Soya Bean.

  

4. What was your FIRST ambition?

 A policeman.

 5. Who was your FIRST favorite band/singer?

 Linkin Park i guess.

6. Who was the FIRST person to text/IM you today?

 My brother.

7. What was the FIRST thing you thought of this morning

" Why do i always have dreams about friends becoming... 'more than friends'?"

8. Where did you go on your FIRST airplane ride?

 Sabah.

9. Who was your FIRST best friend? 

If i follow my definition of best friend, no, i don't have one yet.

10. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?

 My mum.

11. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?

 Some relative's wedding, can't remember because i was too small.

12. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?

 Putting the battery into my camera.

13. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?

 Haven't been to one.

14. FIRST piercing?

 No, i don't do piercing.

15. FIRST movie you remember seeing?

 Original Disney Movies.

16. When was your FIRST detention?

In primary school, probably because i didn't do my homework.

17. What is the FIRST thing you would learn if you had the chance?

 Things i haven't tried to learn? Maybe learn how to play the piano. 

18. What was the FIRST sport that you were involved in?

 Running?

19. What were the FIRST lessons you ever took?

 First lessons on how to crawl, walk, talk, write, draw etc etc..

20. What is the FIRST thing you do when you get home? 

 Upload pictures.

New and old me.

A week had passed, finally my mum's back home from the hospital. Though it was just exhausting for traveling back and forth everyday, it's worth every energy used. And those times that i stayed home wasn't because i wanted to play games but i have work to be done, not really what should i call it even though i don't get paid for it so i just have to keep calling my video editing time work, even though i enjoy doing it, it's also a responsibility and the price i paid in the past.

People around me have told me to stop doing if it affects my life, nobody's forcing me, somehow i agree with them but then again, i don't easily give up. I still believe in such a way, i'm keeping contact with you all with at least some visible effort. I rarely or don't, say hi on the phone or when i'm online, some of it is because i not use to it but mostly i don't believe in it, or should i say i find this conversations to be empty and effortless.

I believe through "WHIC?", i can show my commitment and put effort into our friendship. Another reason for me to do is because i realized how hard is it for us to hang out during holidays. I don't know if anyone feels this way but i feel disappointed and sad when someone can't go to an event when they are invited. Saying sorry in the internet, again my personal opinion that it feels effortless to do, that's why i find ways to express myself, maybe an apology through sms or a call, or maybe a solid promise that next time i'll make it, anything to show that i'm doing my part to keep this friendship in existence.

I cannot stress how much this miscellaneous things would be important for any of us that is actually doing something to keep in contact, i only recently realized that some people including myself, had only waited for people to call us out. It's no wonder why things starts to feel one-sided. Maintaining friendship is all about teamwork, let's not forget about that. Do more than just ask if anyone's planning something for us to go, suggest some of you're own ideas, anything to make you feel you're being a part of this small group of ours.

But seems as though this is my final plead, for our classes are starting, some today, most on Monday. Another college semester starts, but for how long, as i have pointed to this matter a lot of times, not long, next year, all of us will together for only a little more than six months, our time together, gets lesser and lesser as we separate into smaller groups. I just wonder how friendships are maintained in this difficult times, if no one ever spoke of this, if no one ever made an effort, if i never written anything in my blog, if WHIC did not exist. Are we going to lose each other eventually?

Well i won't just sit around, never have been. When i commit to something, i'll see to it that it ends with every possible effort i had made. Abandoning is not an option. I won't record or take picture starting this semester, but it does not mean i have stopped making them episodes, maybe not considered WHIC anymore but there's still going to be something, and it's going to be better.

If you watched Yes Man(Starring Jim Carrey), you'd understand why out of 10 times of yes and no choices, 7/8 of them would be yes. Because if you give yourself less excuses, you'd be able to enjoy more with you're life. When i heard you saying no to me, i would say yes, yes as in i accept the fact you can't come and i at least appreciate the effort for informing me. Why there are 3/2 times i would say no? Because if i said 10 times of yes i would be lying. I would say no because i've given much considerations when things aren't going according to my plans.

Things that men nowadays lacks the most is being understanding about the people around them and having the balls to accept other people's views whether you like it or not. Especially opinions and feelings of the female gender, no matter how different we are, you do not despise or generalize according to genders. Men, being leaders first in the planet, will surely have the mindset that they are superior than women, this opinion i would have agreed to it, if i lived in the 15th century. Guys, we live in the 21st century, not when the times women don't even have simple rights to begin with. I find people that call themselves sexists are quite the hypocrites, their beliefs are always contradictory unless they are too blind to notice that survival, which is the first thing humans do, are dependent to each other, etc where do babies come from?

Ok, so you're saying you're sexist, but doesn't mean you want the opposite sex to go extinct. Then why all the hate when the power to survive and create future generations, is clearly equalized in dependency between each other? Unless we successfully created clones that won't be wiped out if a lethal disease spreads or in others, all of us becomes immune to any disease that maybe new, i don't see why us men are so superior, unless gay people starts to be able to make babies, i don't see a concrete reason to be a sexist.

Sure, extra rights are given to women now, so, is that affecting how you live now? Are you being bossed more by women then men, or would you rather have more men boss you around? Are you any poorer? Have your rights been reduced? Or maybe your just whining, perhaps? Either way, unless there are insurmountable facts that suggests men are superior and women has to be under-privileged, i'm saying, DON'T MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT.You have better things to do then getting angry towards women and being in disagreement in ideas and opinions. Stop thinking you're a sexist while you have boyfriends/girlfriends because  that's just the ultimate hypocrisy you can get. Just accept life and frigging move on, it's that simple.

This is Jake, making sure there are less insensitive and temperamental people through words. If you got angry after reading this and are against what i say, be my guest and continue to stare angrily at your computer because you either don't understand the simple logic i've thought out or you just don't accept the fact that life still continues wonderfully even with this wasteful bickering of gender superiority. Accepting your point of view or not, won't solve a single problem if we still can't get along, so my acceptance would be meaningless at the end.


Still single, still liking every girl i see, and i loving it.

How much longer?

I think i've talked about it but i think it has been more than a year since.

Anyone that didn't start reading this from 2009, my mum had multiple kidney operations/checkups last year to remove the kidney stone. Well, even though the stone has been removed and only small residue of it is left, the kidney has stopped functioning. It is not serious but sooner or later my mum will have to have her kidney removed.

Her surgery will start on Monday, staying in the hospital for about a week. That means the whole week, which i'm "technically" free, will have to visit her or stay with her for a couple of days too. Well, doesn't mean, i won't have time for meetings, maybe not enough time to finish the vids. Just that i won't be thinking for a while.

Compare to this, my sad single life doesn't really match with what i always think right now. In my opinion, singles who say they don't need boyfriend/girlfriend, is of course momentarily, i know because i've always been one. But doesn't mean you have to ruthlessly finding the girl/boy you love. Me? Before i created this blog to despair about it, i did nothing about chasing a girl i like, quite regrettable sometimes when i thought about it. But now, it seems i choose the none radical way of approach, as in i still don't do anything, though i just simply pay more attention to the girl i like, if she's the one, i believe she'll do the same too.

When i came to this world, mum was already reaching in her 40s, something that didn't quite strike me in the head until i reached 16 or 17, then i occasionally asked myself, how many more years is my parents going to be with me? When i asked this question, i could never blame anything on them, i couldn't feel any worse when i did something that disappoints them.

My parents are reaching to their 60s now. How many more years before i could repay them with my own blood? How many more years until they can see my children? How many more years can i wake up and see them? How many more years are they going to talk to me?



When am i going to say that i love them and i'm sorry for the things that i have done...

There has to be something write, ah! [August Summary 2010]

Talk about.. erhh, actually i don't have much to say, not feeling too sad, not feeling too happy either. Probably that's why after six days i still don't have a single thing to either brag or whine about.

But only now i realized i missed doing something monthly. And it's...

My August Summary

1. I finally finished my brother's super overdued wedding ceremony, could have been sooner if i wasn't grumpy and selfish back then, still wondered what if i didn't start making videos, would there still be a video to edit, or just pictures to be posted on Facebook? Would there still be friends like i'm having now if i didn't create WHIC? Would i have spent more time on other things that i need to tend to, i need to practice or focus on?

Not sure, but life always leave us a lot of "What ifs" because there's only one decision we can make given one time. But as always, making a lot of wrong decisions in turn right decisions becomes so invaluable to me. Truth is though, i don't know when have i made right decisions until it's known results are clear to me.

2. I visited my cousin's newly born son in a hospital at Damansara, it was my first time looking at a two-days old baby, so tiny yet so precious to even look at. Makes me think about having children myself, wondering how am suppose to raise a child, who am i going to have the child with etc.. Ever since Form 5 and so on, i've always ever so often to think how i can be a father that my children can look up to, which is something teenagers don't usually think too far about.  Babies are truly cute little fragile things.

3. Went to Penang, that's probably my last time ever sulking over past love. On the first day, you can imagine how emotional i could be since i listened to music through my phone the whole day long. What a silly day it was. Not really one of my best trips with my family, one reason would be that i overeat every meal, part of me blames my eldest brother for having two stomach which he can eat every three hours and can still eat a lot. But what can i say, besides eating and shopping what can you do? Not very much except for the beach where you have to go if you are always on the search for food.

4. My two front teeth were something that always bothered me, i'm always cautious about smiling too big or they will show, why? Well, ever since i was in my teenage years, my teeth wasn't properly taken care of, adding to the fact my two front teeth were permanently stained in some parts, i could've care less about brushing my teeth since that stain will never come off, untill just recently. Yeah, i finally got my teeth examined and repaired my stained teeth, you don't know how happy i am to finally be able to smile and not look like i haven't brush my teeth for years. Brushed my teeth 3-4 times a day now.

5. Too it took two months, but i finally got used to living with family and myself. Not much activity with friends since either no one has started one or completely impossible to get together in such circumstances for everyone. We live too far apart is not an issue, just that we have our own lives and things to care for too. At first i hated hearing this excuses but then i realized i'm in some way different. Since i abandoned friends from my hometown, things went back like when i was in Form 1 to 3, when friends was not in quantity but in quality. But the thing is, when you jump in to that pool called Pool of Friendship, you're going to get frustrated of soaking in too much, then you rise up a little, to get a relaxing feeling, it is when you are with friends you are most comfortable, but then you eventually have to get out of that pool, leaving with you just your wet dripping body.

That's why for me, friends were even more precious when i start to lose.. no, "lose" is too harsh, maybe we're just not contacting and meeting each other as much as before. Still, i wished that Malacca trip lasted forever, doesn't matter if it didn't went well or not, most of us were together and i realized spending time together was so precious, something we take for granted when we think spending time at college is already quite alright. Well, what if we went on our separate ways afterwards? Some goes to HELP, some goes to UK. Different class schedule times, different continents. What's the solution then? Either we all make an effort to stay together, or just call me over obsessive or "no life".

It's always something i have to question yet still have faith in my friends. What am i to you, now?

I hope whoever reads this, will not change but criticize me. Some people value less on friends and more to their lovers, some don't. That's why you should ask yourself, is being friendly to anyone you meet, becomes a friend automatically, or friends that you are comfortable with and will always spend time with, given every opportunity available? If you're the former, well, i think you probably had hurt a lot of people by saying or portraying something like "you're a good friend and i will always be your friend", and then later saying it to the next 20 people or so and have to equally spend time with all of them.

6. Currently don't have a best and close friend if i quite frankly say, thought i had some but momentary i guess. Maybe i just haven't met one, but if i do, we'll be the best buds of our lives if not the whole world. What i consider to be best buds? Well, someone like a brother but also a friend, sticks with the code bros before hoes, sacrifices for each other with no mindset of gaining anything and always have time for each other, even if we had girlfriends or wives. Always letting and giving is something i like to consider an important factor, because that's how true friendship will surely last forever which will eventually lead to trust and honor.

You probably thinking i'm choosy but then again, think about what i said. If we were really best buds or something close to it, will you be doubting me after reading this? Ask yourself why some friends don't last that long or hasn't always been close, that pretty much filter up a lot for me, and i mean so much that i might have think i made the wrong choice.

7. And after this post, i have to conclude my research on the subject "True Friendship" which i feel that further dissection of it is not necessary to obtain true friendship because now i have my own definition of the word "friend"; i just need to wait for "when".

For the people that has read thus far, thanks a bunch, i like you, just because you went through all that for me.

Nothing to share? maybe that's about time.

Nothing personal to write about, isn't really a bad for me. Means i'm getting back to myself, seeing that there's less and less frequent blog posts about emo stuff. Yay for me~

So back to daily stuffs as usual? Not so much. Since i still think talking about daily stuffs is boring unless it is otherwise not boring stuff.

But i do have something to talk about. Since i decided to stop WHIC and watched a lot of youtube vids, mainly about Wong Fu Production. I've decided to only do interesting entertainment material, of course i will still record special and unique memorable stuffs that i do with my friends and family. I haven't given up on doing "Memory Videos", yeah that's what i'm going to call them now and WHIC is a "Memory Series" which i would eternally keep them in facebook. I'm planning to start my own youtube sensation but it's kinda hard to pull off since i'm lacking creative ideas to make a steady flow of vids at youtube. I was thinking about the idea like Wong Fu Production, where they have videos about what special event they are doing in life and occasionaly putting up both funny and interesting vids.

Of course, i had thought about doing this alone, but i would still like someone starting this with me, the most important part in this project would be having friends that are willing to sacrifice the time and have the skills to create a great video, skills like video editting, directing, acting and musical capabilities. Doing all of this with just me takes too long and may end up uploading just one video each month and a crappy one. Anyone willing to try to become famous in Youtube?

I do have the main ideas stuck in my mind, the categories i can do, like music videos, dance, action, comedy and real life. The most i can do by myself is real life i guess but i'm not entirely sure what's going to be so great about a guy that keeps talking to a camera while walking around the world. I'm not really good at singing but i know a few who does, anyone interested in making a music video or a choir? Which then comes to legality of music in the videos, copyright infringement, hate that, so if i have no idea how to make background music then i'll have to make videos without them or risk having to get a lawsuit if my vids get famous.

So many things to consider, but it all comes down if i have the will to do this, it's been one of my dreams since i started filming constantly when i met my college friends. The idea of doing a interesting video together with them, is still there. But it's only recently that i was truly thinking of making a video, not for the purpose of capturing special moments, but to make it solely for entertainment and the fun of making it.

So after this post has been written, i'll start making one, given any chance. I'll always ask for a hand, and only upon acceptance will i take that helping hand.

Do you want to try this with me?