How much longer?

I think i've talked about it but i think it has been more than a year since.

Anyone that didn't start reading this from 2009, my mum had multiple kidney operations/checkups last year to remove the kidney stone. Well, even though the stone has been removed and only small residue of it is left, the kidney has stopped functioning. It is not serious but sooner or later my mum will have to have her kidney removed.

Her surgery will start on Monday, staying in the hospital for about a week. That means the whole week, which i'm "technically" free, will have to visit her or stay with her for a couple of days too. Well, doesn't mean, i won't have time for meetings, maybe not enough time to finish the vids. Just that i won't be thinking for a while.

Compare to this, my sad single life doesn't really match with what i always think right now. In my opinion, singles who say they don't need boyfriend/girlfriend, is of course momentarily, i know because i've always been one. But doesn't mean you have to ruthlessly finding the girl/boy you love. Me? Before i created this blog to despair about it, i did nothing about chasing a girl i like, quite regrettable sometimes when i thought about it. But now, it seems i choose the none radical way of approach, as in i still don't do anything, though i just simply pay more attention to the girl i like, if she's the one, i believe she'll do the same too.

When i came to this world, mum was already reaching in her 40s, something that didn't quite strike me in the head until i reached 16 or 17, then i occasionally asked myself, how many more years is my parents going to be with me? When i asked this question, i could never blame anything on them, i couldn't feel any worse when i did something that disappoints them.

My parents are reaching to their 60s now. How many more years before i could repay them with my own blood? How many more years until they can see my children? How many more years can i wake up and see them? How many more years are they going to talk to me?



When am i going to say that i love them and i'm sorry for the things that i have done...