Hardest Objective = Accepting Life.

I live by a couple of rules in life.

One of them being the "Tolerate, and then Accept" rule. Which whatever problem you encounter, be it eventful or a person, you have to tolerate it for a certain period of time before completely accepting it as part of your life. An example would be the nuisance that surrounds me.

[If you're reading this again, well, if that's the way you want to know me.]

The point though of this post is to make another 'revelation' on my life. I'm very tired right now so I might be just as straightforward as possible. its like 8 out of 10 girls I meet, which I'm attracted/have a crush/interested whatever you like imagine, are already in a relationship.

Now, I can tell you, it's not fate, although part of me think it is but it's just the way I am. My best guess so far is, girls who are emotionally stable and/or socially extroverted, will tend to or try to help or befriend people. Well I would like to tell myself, "because you're always either sad or angry at something most of the time. And so don't really have a valid reason to complain about this situation."

I admit, I can't find love on my own two feet, I DON'T want to. I'll never meet that someone, because I only know how to react, not ACT.

I ask myself why do I attract girls who are already in a relationship, but I already knew the answer.

And then, I blame it on fate, telling myself I'm destined to be single and putting them in front of me and telling me you'll never get anyone. Which I knew it's all just in the mind, I'm just screwing myself basically.

So freaking tired.

If there is God, Buddha or whatever, I just want to know why. Why can't the next girl I talk to be without this barrier? Why can't I live the way I like and still find love? Is this some kind of divine punishment on me? Because I've sinned?

I don't know how long I can tolerate this BS in life. Without knowing why it is like this; the purpose of this, I can't accept the way things are.

I can't accept the fact, the next girl I like, is inevitably going to be forbidden.

I would be fine with unrequited love, but I can't have it, if it is wrong.