There was a train, now there’s a hill.

Writing this down at a special place, again. But it’s safe to say that’ll happen once a lifetime, or two. I wrote this in Genting Highland, August 1st 2010.

I can’t i have much to say, nor i have nothing to say. The 18 years old me, had an extraordinary year, the most life changing of all. This year had me struggled to balance between what’s important and what’s desired for me, it helped me reached a milestone into understanding myself and the people around me. At this 18th year, i forced myself to make hard decisions in life, mostly decisions that had dire consequences at the current present.

But all in it’s very essence, it was a year of realization, understanding better about myself by all this actions, reasoning into why i sacrifice time and spirit for others and felt guilt and shame for ignoring help where it is needed most. I could never be as clueless as i was before 17th or any of the years for that matter.

To be honest from a point of view, i have absolutely everything i wanted, it’s just matter of time, more than what i had expected. I believe in “eventually”, ‘when the time is right” and “it is within your grasp”. The first thing i thought i don’t have is someone special to me, i realized it’s really not the case, love is in the air, as the saying goes, although it’s not everywhere for every person, but both she and myself breathe in the same love, it’ll be obvious. I’m just aimlessly breathing in without any effort into finding it and treasuring it.

All in all, i’ll have to conclude my 18th life with a happy ending, sure there’s some bads in it but when i think about it, i have more good times than bad times, when i am able to recall it with technology, it confirms the statement to be true, i am happy with all the things that have happened so far. It was an adventurous one indeed. I have no regrets about not having her as a girlfriend, sure it maybe painful but it’s just not the time nor was it the right one. How am i so sure? When i am so in love with a girl, i’ll sacrifice everything for her, break all the rules that bind me to get her no matter what. Or in other words, i would literally show love to her, and she’ll love me the same way as i do. That’s when the cupid strikes it’s arrow through my heart so hard, i’ll bleed love right from it.

My 18th 31st July, i’ve made friends i’ll love forever, i’ve lost friends i’ll remember forever, i have a family that i’ll die for, i’ve loved a girl that i’ll think about… once in a while.

I love my life, i love you all.