On the other hand..

What could be said has been said, at least for the majority of it. There's not a lot of issues circling around me anymore, my thoughts are more of just thinking how to break from procrastination and other minor stuff. A lot of things have been cleared this past week through a bit of confrontation of it, lifts most of my suspicion and realise i should not have been at the first place.

On Friday, just went to MV meet up with Kean Hoe, told me Marcus couldn't make it afterwards. It was only for a little while for us to talk since he had other things to do and i need to go back home before rush hour, but surprisingly KH hasn't met Marcus for a long time. I'd assumed they would contact each other often but in fact i kept in contact with Marcus more often than him. No use in speculating because i don't know for certain why but  both of them have been clashing in schedules, whilst i know Marcus is busy, mostly because for Jessica even though he just tells me he has 'something' to do, It's not hard to catch his car since it's kinda rare around college.

Still you can't say they don't want to meet up, just other things demands more attention, i can't say the same for Junior though, there seems to be mix views amongst us as to why he hasn't made even one try to meet up. 

Before i write any further i say it of not by my own opinion, there's certainly something about it to think about. I would say that because of his personality, he makes friends wherever he goes, nothing bad about it, but his conception of 'true friendship', i question it. I could well be wrong because i'm clueless as to how demanding the course he chose. I'm basing on just the updates he makes on facebook, i called it investigating, not stalking... ahem. Maybe it's just facebook misleading me but it seems his time is spent mostly on HELP related activities, while some of it being dancing activities which is no biggy as it has always taken a slot in his time.

I've tried multiple times to have him go out with us but failed of course, whilst even a response is hard to get sometimes and feels irritated on occasions. Can one be busy for the whole semester, not even one day? Judging from pictures that was tagged with him in it, it seems he does have time to spent for fun as he was shown to be at a beach or at a mall, but only with his current friends to add on. Anyhow, any more speculation is not gonna be accurate, only time will tell. As far as i'm told, he's going to be busy for the next few months, without saying he could be free on the following months, so i assume he'll only want to meet up when he wants to.

As far as remembering and missing us, according to facebook, yes, but he says it to all the people besides HELP friends of course. I hope to God i'm wrong in every sentence i made and he really is unbelievably busy and have no time to even consider other things such as his BAC friends and it's going to be like that for the whole semester as he has emphasized. I'm just too clueless to make assumptions in the internet.

But in honesty, i'm kinda irritated by that excuse/reason whatever you want to call it. I hardly want to chat with him in the internet any more since no more than 5 minutes he says he has to go somewhere. And to tell you this, I know him well enough that he curses at people in the MSN when he gets annoyed, i'm no exception. Either in a bad way or habitual, i find cursing really really uncomfortable to hear or even say, to know you're being cursed just makes me "ugh!". 

All things said, i write this not because i'm angry at him, i just want to know better, as i write i do more thinking and research on it before i make any conclusive answer. Why is this such a big deal? I'll tell you why, because for me, it feels like you did not make close friends here. At least for the three of us, we thought we're one of the closer friends for you in Brickfields. There's two possible conclusion i can come up, one being a previously made conclusion in a post, that he has not realise you can't give all your friends the 'true friend' treatment, something like this will happen and it's uncertain whether you mean it or not when you say it to everyone you want to befriend. The other one being that i am actually the dumb idiot who thought you actually  treated me like one of your true friends and whilst i never knew you actually have a significant amount of 'true friends' and now you start to show your discontent of me contacting you.

Which is why as i've said before, it's better for someone that are busy are more important things, to do the contacting rather the other way round, or else it'll feel like i'm clingy or something, given that i only have a handful of friends i actually talk to and hangout but this knowledge not widely known, people who doesn't know me well or read my blog won't know, but then again, i would and it concerns me.

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On a side note, i haven't been keeping in contact with most people, including the two of you, it's not i don't want to but more it's more towards to the reasoning of "i don't want to waste your time."

Considering revisions and the coming exams are stressful, i assume you wouldn't want to suddenly have a small talk out of nowhere, considering it's been ages since last time. Which is why i rarely talk to anyone nowadays, even in MSN or facebook chat.

Whatever it is, this period of time just doesn't seem to be a time for me to do that. I seem to follow the "speak only when you are spoken to" principle in all sort of situation. I don't know, am i correct in thinking this way or is this never was true?

I just wish all this excess thinking was not necessary and i could just be blunt and straightforward about things.