A month of geekiness.

Study, it's probably the first thing and the last thing on my schedule nowadays. 


Morning, i wake up, brush my teeth, wash my face, expel unwanted liquid, tone & lotion my face, change my clothes, eat breakfast, gel my hair, prepare my bag and then off i go. Where? Study at classes, study at college, do homework at college and go back home and repeat the whole morning process again for the night.


Feels like i'm turning into a robot or something. Well, it's not that i don't want to relax myself, it's just that i don't how when i have nothing else to do. Exams coming and studying is all that comes to my mind; i don't have a car which means even more time spent at home either try to study or simply just sit my ass on the chair and facebook, twitter..


I've never been this hardworking before but even still i don't think i have worked hard enough, there's still a lot of blanks in my mind about things, still a lot of memorizing to be done. There doesn't seem to be enough time and enough effort for anything i do to work. It's always not enough.


But you know what, i don't seem to have a choice, but i don't seem to be really bothered about it. I'm just a guy that likes moving with the flow of the river, wherever it flows, i'll be dragged, when i want to reach to that destination which does not makes me swim against the river, i'll even swim harder to the destination, you know what i mean?


It's not like i don't want to go karaokes, movies and what not, it's just that i have obligations and restrictions either enforced by myself or fate. I understand this and i accept it, i also understand that others have their bumps on the road of life, sure i would still be impatient and annoy people for my needs but after a while, i would understand and just let it be.


You can say i'm almost carefree about life, i do what i want to do but i let fate decide the time and date for me, makes life easier. I really want to just relax, but i can't, subconsciously, i just push myself to study, i'd tell myself to study, doesn't matter what it is as long as i'm able to study, other things you can throw them aside and just, study. That's why i don't believe in finding the right time to do something, only the right chances and they can be found all the time as long as you let it be. One day i'll have the chance to sing karaoke, one day i'll have the chance to focus on wargaming, one day i'll have the chance to hang around and just chat with my lovely friends for a long time, one day we'll have the chance to go on a trip together again. It's only a matter of fate or where else some of you would believe such chance is planned by God and we shall wait for it to happen. Either way, we're all going to happy at the end, unless your an emo, hahah.


This final examination is important, i know it from the deepest depths of my mind, that's why like how i reject love, i will not reject study even my hearts tells me to. We all want something in our lives. but it takes a lot of guts to admit and suppress it.


Don't worry, be happy~~