Has there been a day i am not busy since late August 2010?
Can't really hate my life after mid of September.
My life's kinda exciting and fills up my time, it made me forget about that lingering emptiness and loneliness.
Full of drama and exploring between myself and my friends,
After this prom, i guess i will still continue to find something to work with,
either directly or indirectly,
it is inevitable that it will affect my studies but i am able to plan ahead something i never gave much thought.
Still unable to freely move my right leg, really annoys since it has hindered me to do a few things properly or literally aren't able to do. But i guess whatever life's give you, you face it.
Sure, some friends had gotten distant, but i realized it always has been, just that i had mistaken we have became close. Since i understand my nature; my quiet self, it doesn't really matter if i wasn't able to talk to certain friends, i acknowledged that it won't help in bonding but it won't worsen our friendship anyway too, of course unless if the opposite gives such understanding too.
Well, i guess some people can only become good friends, while some can be close. It really just depends our willingness to share feelings and understand one another through conversations. Though part of me just wishes we could share our feelings just by looking one another.
Though it really bugs me sometimes when i'm always the one asking the sensitive questions albeit i'm the quiet one. Makes other people think i'm busy body or something. What i can say though is that guys aren't keen on sharing personal feelings, they never seem to have much soul in them except for a few. But then again, it's impossible for me to get into such talks with girls, usually because the image i give out to girls is that i don't give a damn about other girl's worries or feelings. Limited college time doesn't help either, msn feels too emotionless and remote when such discussion arises. So, do i have the determination and nosiness to ask the questions? because all i wish to know is how are my friends are doing and concern of their views of issues. I probably have that hidden determination somewhere, just need to spontaneously bring it out.
To be honest, not many of my friends are coming from Year 1 for the prom, acceptable reasons were given, but all those reasons would've been applicable to myself too, even if i was not one of the prom planning committee members, i would still go. Why? easy, if i was just attending the prom, my reasons would be to come and support my friends who have contributed in making the prom a success, it's not often that one of us get to do something this huge. Do you really think we're doing this solely for college? have you ever thought the committee did their best because they wanted to have their friends enjoy a special night?
I gotten my motivation first to do this is because i thought i could put my skills to impress my friends, to 'wow' my friends. Guess most of that motivation was lost when most of them didn't want to go. I don't think i give a damn about the college, it's not my friend, i'm not doing it for the college, but for the people around me. Another reason would be because friends from Year 2 won't be enjoying the next year's prom, because they won't even be in Malaysia. So for myself, i don't think i will want to attend the following one, it doesn't give much meaning as to attending the upcoming one.
This is how deep i feel for this prom, sure from practical viewpoint, it doesn't make sense to attend this prom when you already attended one last year, well it doesn't make sense to think practicality in my viewpoint. Save a few bucks, save a day's study time or save it for the last; yeah, it's worth disappointing your friends who really only wanted you to come and not someone they don't know.
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