Hmmm i guess i'm always looking forward to "month-ends", who really reads my blog, i can't be certain any other people than my friends, but one thing's for sure, since the beginning of it, i had 4000+ hits. Probably not really high considering it has been two years of blogging, though i get an average of 300+ per month hits now, don't know who comes here and read my blog, but thanks a bunch.
Part of my reason to blog is to have someone listen to me. Since day one of my blog, during that time i have no one i can easily talk about my life, usually friends are for this kinds of things, without failure of expressing it as much as possible. To be honest though, those days are coming back to a certain degree; though my physical self may have become a bit alone nowadays, i guess my mind has been free from solitude confinement ever since day one had begun. In some way, i'm ok with being alone again.
Haven't shared anything personal in real life ever since A-Levels ended. It does seem, even though WHIC had been made for so long, it's never gonna be enough to help me bond with friends in real life. Do i really know that's true? Hmmm, good question, i guess nobody actually sees how i go through my life nowadays, more or less it's because i sulked alot in this blog, who knows, people might actually think i'm an emo person which they are probably right to some extent.
This are not Sept's summary, just a few things i wanna clear up.
1. I don't socialize in real life, in a way that people won't think you as a friend that can be trusted entirely in terms of secrets and personal stuff. Because? don't know, maybe i blog about them / vigorously taken pictures and videos of them? Well, for anyone that is interested, i don't blog people's personal stuff, directly and clearly, usually i write enough ambiguity in my posts that only a selected few will know what i'm talking about when i give some minor details. Furthermore, i privatized albums/videos in Facebook, which in other words, i've blocked everyone except the people closes between you and i. Anything that's too sensitive to be shown in any form of content, i won't tell/show under any circumstances until the owner changes his/her mind otherwise. Conclusively say, i don't like misunderstanding between people, it causes unnecessary hate and frustration which i've constantly voice out this opinion of mine that simply hating a person for something that is still forgivable, is just stupid.
2. And leads me to say, why somehow, i've got nothing to talk about in real life, as i have written 90% of my life here. Not a good reason to be anti-social but i don't share personal stuff, is because people don't wish to tell theirs. Can't really emphasize much on my life about this fact, because since class started, no one seems to be suitable for this kinds of things no more.
3. I don't want to talk about this, because i'm tired of saying i'm alone/anti-social. I don't talk but i do have feelings, feelings coop inside of my head and only finally releasing to here. It's really saddening to watch friends talk between each other, you just wish you were invited into the conversations; i've always believe it to be rude to invite oneself into somebody's business, so i've never been a busy body person in my entire life.
4. Another thing i realized is that i don't take the initiative to do things unless driven by interest or forced by something. Which i have incurred drastic consequences in my life. For what ever reason, i should not be spoon fed. Somethings just don't require thinking, you just have to do it, etc asking a girl out or in other words do something regardless of how unsure you are about it. A person that thinks too much? i guess it's going to be hard but nothing's done when you don't start trying. I'm always afraid of getting disappointed and sad in my life that i chose the safer paths, should've sooner known that i have been always disappointed and sad from time to time.
Enough of opinions and clearing ups, it's time for....
[My September 2010 Summary]
1. Classes started, friends changed, i'm back to square one, similarly only.
2. I've officially stopped regularly making WHIC episodes, but good news is i will still make episodes from the past, the only bad news is that i'm not going to take any pictures/videos at college that's all. Kim, unless i have some more motivation, i will put past WHIC episodes my top priority, but seems like most people don't bother about it and i have no interest in doing something people won't even appreciate my effort, note i have a higher standard of appreciation, not just "Like" the videos i've uploaded, i can do that myself.
3. My mum went to the hospital to get one of her failed kidney removed a couple of weeks ago, was one of the times i told myself to improve myself and strife better for my life and her to be proud of. Thankfully the operation was a success, although currently the wound my mum carries will not recover so soon since it was quite a major surgery my mum had. Been trying to take care of my mum while's living my life.
4. Busy with prom works/studies, but i can still go through all of it, little by little. Had fun, made friends, satisfied with life. What more interesting stuff has happened to me?
5.Tied in a game with Marcus, considered a remarkable achievement for me. Though i decided in my dream(really, it's true), that i'll paint all my army, then only i'll start playing again. I've got the necessary paints and brushes, i guess it's only right to prioritize this part of my hobby first rather than play an army that is growing but remain dull to look at. Expect a really colorful army, wargamers/readers, finishing sometime in November, most probably.
6. Continuously talked to this person in the internet for more than a week now, "quite interesting" is the best i can describe about this happening, just hope i'm not getting boring. Who doesn't like a listening ear that responds to you? One of the nice little things that happens in my life. Makes you wonder if it get's creepy if you step up a notch, ahh again with the thinking.
Well, those are the top things that happened in September, anything else might stray away from facts to merely opinions, wishing there could be more things in this month but i guess it's considered enough for me. I wonder what October is in store for me, abandonment of a friend perhaps? hahah probably not.
This is Jake, hoping my readers had a great September 2010 too.
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