You know what?

I just have to this, to tell this not just you but everyone that is in concern.

I received a message and i would liked to just say,

No amount of guilt can one like me right now can experience.
It's too late to say i'm sorry,
i just think i should've known better.

If anyone thinks i don't care about my friends feelings due to the previous post,
well you're right in some way, why?

Because people around me are changing, or more directly saying,
This may sound pathetic but yes,
since Junior left college, i don't have anyone helping me, be closer with my friends.
I've realized once it happens, i'll just be some guy who doesn't socialize as much as i used to.
But i still want to, which really frustrates me to see myself sitting there doing nothing.
To add in even more, due to my results, i don't bring my camera to college just for fun anymore.
Which just makes it even more harder for me.
Do you think it's easy to live my life without ever seriously talking to somebody?
Most people can easily have conversations to friends, i don't have the luxury of that.
I just can't seem to respond fully with my mouth, it's a habit of mine to think more than i should say.

It's hearbreaking, to know someone actually has been supporting me and have the courage to slap me in the face with this message. I can't be any more grateful for this person to open my eyes. I'm letting people down, and i hate the feeling of it.

So what i'm trying to say is, is that we may not talked much, but i still do care about what my friends are going through, it's just that i didn't take the initiative to ask, i usually just assume that they don't want to talk about it to me, because it's hard to position me to where i should be in your list. No one's comfortable talking about their personal lives, but it's just what i wish to share people i'm close with, face to face. However, it seems even the closest of my friends wouldn't do the same for me. I'm at a lost and the only place left for me, is here. It's where all my frustrations go, it's where i share my personal life, but again, it's hard for me to know you really read my posts and had given thoughts on it, until something like this was thrown into my face.

What more can i say? i haven't talk to anybody much these days so i guess i looked at things only in my way. No matter though, i don't plan on trapping myself in my own world, i wish to see our world as a brighter place to be in. I have all the things to look forward to recently that i might get carried away if i don't control myself. Life's only gloomy when i write it down.

People that i haven't really talk to much, hmmm i think most of you all are, but i nearly haven't spoken to Junior, See Wei, Jo Ann, Michele, Chester's group and friends from Marcus there in person. Yeah, when you take into account that i only have college friends now, i've only spoke to a few this past few two weeks. I hope in time will change that sad fact.

Jake's here to tell you, i'm sorry for not knowing and was too self-centered about my views and only mine that blinded me from what is the truth and what i should have always believe in. I love my friends, but it's both heartbreaking to not have been knowing they share the same feelings and to know some can't always be the close friends you once were.