An obvious thing that i haven't blog about is what happening in my life.
Why? I'm not sure, i haven't been able to blog normally since examination started or maybe since my stupid post that i sometime wish i didn't make, hmm, maybe not just one stupid post.
Oh wait, it's already almost July right? That means June's ending and i got a summary to write down too.
June Summary, more in depth.
To be honest, not much since Holidays started. During the first week of the month it was the last two exam papers for me to fight, not much happened, i just studied casually before i know it, exams are already over and immediately after that, Karaoke session, i had fun there but the music was kinda too loud and mic had numerous problem, didn't like that. Forgotten how amazing Kim & Chew Teng could sing, scares me sometimes. The thing i only regret about that time is when i realized my camera stopped working when the battery went dead.
Later that night was BBQ dinner at Junior's place, quickly went to his room, charged the battery, borrow Junior's and start rolling the camera again. Food was nice even though i didn't eat much, was busy stalking people and all. Can't say much, there's definitely awkward moments, still blaming myself for being ignorant about it later afterwards.On a side note, truth be told the BBQ dinner was aiming to get Jan's and March's groups to get closer to each other, suffice to say we failed that goal, but i willing to give it another chance, it won't be easy next time though.
Stayed at Junior's for the night, same for Kim & Jo Ann, we had some long conversations, mostly about what just happened, he hopes the same thing as i do, holding and strengthening the friendship and encourages me to not give up on trying again for the next time. I just i hope it's not the last time i stayed at his home.
Later that day, i spent it with Junior roaming around the area finding paint for his gundam and went home after bid our goodbyes. On the second week onwards until now, i've secluded myself at home doing exercises, practice dancing and making videos.Got a new phone, going to get a car, spending time with family, buying miniatures at a new shop and i haven't cut my hair for almost a month now.
Besides of boredom, truthfully, i find myself to be envious of what others are doing with their holidays, it does hurt to see people still able to meet with friends either back at the college or staying with each other.
I wonder if i am the only one secluding myself to the outside world and living in the past? Don't get me wrong, i love being with my family, it's just that the actions i've done in the past have come to haunt me. Can't really see much with the problem i'm facing in others, they either have friends back at home town or have relationships to maintain about. Because of my own decisions, i grounded myself at home indirectly and the consequences were made involuntarily. I do regret it but there's no turning back, i can't do it. It's not about being proud if that's what you're thinking, it's a matter of maturity. I always change my mind when things turn out bad, i take things for granted, such as friends, not anymore.
Definitely, i'm sad, i regret what i've done. But i just have to move on.
From the bottom of my heart, I miss college life, i miss my college friends, i really miss the people i haven't met since examination. I truly feel jealous about your life now. All i can do now is wish upon a star, and i wish that i can be a supportive friend no matter how lonely i get.
There's gonna be another month of solitude, all i have now is the past to keep me moving forward.
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