30th January 2011
Went out to Junior's house in the afternoon,
went to the Curve to meet up with Marcus,
ate A&W for the first time,
randomly went to Alvin's shop and help Junior bought a model,
went to Marcus' house to help a bit on the model,
ate dinner with Junior before going back home.
31 January 2011
30 January 2011
Where there is a will, you must find the way. [Long post]
I'm in no good mood, but doesn't mean i don't have some good advice to tell.
To the negative minded, life isn't always bad.
To the positive minded, life isn't always good.
The above two statements, how far is it true?
Through my blogging, I'm beginning to see a pattern of subjectiveness in all sorts of matters. I can't say nothing is for certain, there are practical things that are certain, like for a fact, if the sun is gonna blind you when you stare it too long then it's gonna blind you no matter what.
However, as i said, the human is always different and unique, you never know for certain a person is good or bad. To me, a person's life is never always bad nor is it always good. So why are there so many books that insist the "power of positive thinking" is always good for a person?
Throughout my life, that positive/negative thinking fluctuates from year to the next year. Back in Form 5, i strongly believed the power of positive thinking, in my way, i believed if you wish to have a happy and successful life, you should aim high and disregard what other people have to say otherwise. That belief was mainly caused by my brother, an Amway member, who were influenced by fellow members of their ways of positive thinking that led them to a successful life.
Gradually, that belief slowly fades away and after A-Levels, it started to seem like i began to loathe my life, a negative thinker. That positiveness was battered by reality, i was so damn naive and foolish. How can it be possible to be successful just thinking you can be successful? After so many years had passed, why haven't my brother achieved that success he believed to happen in a short period of time? And his path, i only witness destruction to himself and others around him. I don't want to get into this, it's just too... useless, to talk about him.
Anyways, my negativeness is slowly fading away, after around this year, i think i'll become a realist. To explain how why i'm different than the average realist though is that i possess both negative and positive thinking. See the title of this post? Which says,
"Where there is a will, you must find the way."
By changing and adding the words of this proverb, it clearly shows how i think. Maybe most people may have figured out this, but i only understand it recently, maybe a couple months back.
Before i explain any much further, i want to say that negative-thinking is and always never a good thing, i have it is because of my dark past. So i will encourage you to never have that kind of thinking.
Anywho, i want to talk about two kinds of positive thinking, one that is about life and one that is about success. It maybe hard for some of you to understand it that there are people who only think one side of things. How many sides can there be, you say, well it depends how wide your mind can open to see the world as it is.
The first kind, and firstly, don't ever say that life is never bad, because that clearly shows you that your ignorant of your own reality. How can life never suck? it's impossible, unless your crazy, that would explain alot. But you're not, so please realize and accept the 'ying and yang' of life. Being ignorant of the 'bads' in life will just hurt you even more when you fall in life, you can never escape it. However, facing reality doesn't mean you should not look up in your life, it means you are growing, you are maturing, and importantly, it better prepares you for whatever life throws at you.
Positive-thoughts about life should only be left to the lunatics and ironically, the children. Why? Because children are not always prepared to face reality, as they still don't understand it, giving them the wrong advice would totally ruin their view of life.
When you want to achieve something, imagining it so hard that you fool yourself to believe it will happen, won't work one bit. This is something more practical in the sense that affects the way of life instead of the view of life, so i'm emphasising more on why it's dangerous to really really ONLY want to succeed in life.
If you want to achieve your life's goal, simply plan at the present what you need to do first to make the first few steps, and of course actually doing them; you won't be able to see the view from the top, without walking up the stairs at the first place, you know what i mean? This advice probably's meant for people who are blinded by motivational books or speakers, they are the people that would tell half-truths to their listeners/readers rather than telling them what they should know.
Your life is certainly not always at your hand, and at those times you should make the best of it. But when it is, don't just throw it back into water, instead you should try harder to keep it in your hand.
Then i can guess now you would ask, why positive-minded people succeeded in life?
Seriously, you need me to answer that? Well simple, these people didn't tell you the requirement of it, or simply they brainwashed you into thinking that you only need positive thinking to achieve something. That's in a way how the Amway and other companies that similar works, how well they are able to influence people is quite complex, their brainwashing technique is so thorough that once you get in, you WON'T want to get out.
Anyways, the thing is that people that succeed in their life is because of through persuasive skills, added with really thick skins and of course, the positive mind. You have no idea how some would go to extreme lengths to attract more members into the company, and i tell you, not alot are capable. However, you won't see that only a few made it to the top, there's numerous people have made it. but. They show you the number who succeeded in the company, did they show you the number of members who joined the company? Yes, through this multi-level marketing system, the company is probably earning insurmountable sum of money, Amway surely succeeded in ruining the majority of lives i guess.
From my view, different system or not, i still see it as a business path, you still need the communicative skills, the connections, and the thick skin to do it, the only difference is that they trick you into believing that you don't need none of those skills and syphoning your money through it.
My advice is that you don't believe anything you read or listen too damn seriously. You have your own mind, common sense and a bit of thinking by yourself will tell you whether my realist view or the influences of positive thinking in your life, makes better sense? Well, if you still can't tell, the most easiest way is to see who succeeds in life and who doesn't.
Oh and to a certain someone, i only know it from someone, but whether it is true or not, it seems the past is coming back to haunt you, even though we're not as close as were before, please be safe wherever you are.
To the negative minded, life isn't always bad.
To the positive minded, life isn't always good.
The above two statements, how far is it true?
Through my blogging, I'm beginning to see a pattern of subjectiveness in all sorts of matters. I can't say nothing is for certain, there are practical things that are certain, like for a fact, if the sun is gonna blind you when you stare it too long then it's gonna blind you no matter what.
However, as i said, the human is always different and unique, you never know for certain a person is good or bad. To me, a person's life is never always bad nor is it always good. So why are there so many books that insist the "power of positive thinking" is always good for a person?
Throughout my life, that positive/negative thinking fluctuates from year to the next year. Back in Form 5, i strongly believed the power of positive thinking, in my way, i believed if you wish to have a happy and successful life, you should aim high and disregard what other people have to say otherwise. That belief was mainly caused by my brother, an Amway member, who were influenced by fellow members of their ways of positive thinking that led them to a successful life.
Gradually, that belief slowly fades away and after A-Levels, it started to seem like i began to loathe my life, a negative thinker. That positiveness was battered by reality, i was so damn naive and foolish. How can it be possible to be successful just thinking you can be successful? After so many years had passed, why haven't my brother achieved that success he believed to happen in a short period of time? And his path, i only witness destruction to himself and others around him. I don't want to get into this, it's just too... useless, to talk about him.
Anyways, my negativeness is slowly fading away, after around this year, i think i'll become a realist. To explain how why i'm different than the average realist though is that i possess both negative and positive thinking. See the title of this post? Which says,
"Where there is a will, you must find the way."
By changing and adding the words of this proverb, it clearly shows how i think. Maybe most people may have figured out this, but i only understand it recently, maybe a couple months back.
Before i explain any much further, i want to say that negative-thinking is and always never a good thing, i have it is because of my dark past. So i will encourage you to never have that kind of thinking.
Anywho, i want to talk about two kinds of positive thinking, one that is about life and one that is about success. It maybe hard for some of you to understand it that there are people who only think one side of things. How many sides can there be, you say, well it depends how wide your mind can open to see the world as it is.
The first kind, and firstly, don't ever say that life is never bad, because that clearly shows you that your ignorant of your own reality. How can life never suck? it's impossible, unless your crazy, that would explain alot. But you're not, so please realize and accept the 'ying and yang' of life. Being ignorant of the 'bads' in life will just hurt you even more when you fall in life, you can never escape it. However, facing reality doesn't mean you should not look up in your life, it means you are growing, you are maturing, and importantly, it better prepares you for whatever life throws at you.
Positive-thoughts about life should only be left to the lunatics and ironically, the children. Why? Because children are not always prepared to face reality, as they still don't understand it, giving them the wrong advice would totally ruin their view of life.
When you want to achieve something, imagining it so hard that you fool yourself to believe it will happen, won't work one bit. This is something more practical in the sense that affects the way of life instead of the view of life, so i'm emphasising more on why it's dangerous to really really ONLY want to succeed in life.
If you want to achieve your life's goal, simply plan at the present what you need to do first to make the first few steps, and of course actually doing them; you won't be able to see the view from the top, without walking up the stairs at the first place, you know what i mean? This advice probably's meant for people who are blinded by motivational books or speakers, they are the people that would tell half-truths to their listeners/readers rather than telling them what they should know.
Your life is certainly not always at your hand, and at those times you should make the best of it. But when it is, don't just throw it back into water, instead you should try harder to keep it in your hand.
Then i can guess now you would ask, why positive-minded people succeeded in life?
Seriously, you need me to answer that? Well simple, these people didn't tell you the requirement of it, or simply they brainwashed you into thinking that you only need positive thinking to achieve something. That's in a way how the Amway and other companies that similar works, how well they are able to influence people is quite complex, their brainwashing technique is so thorough that once you get in, you WON'T want to get out.
Anyways, the thing is that people that succeed in their life is because of through persuasive skills, added with really thick skins and of course, the positive mind. You have no idea how some would go to extreme lengths to attract more members into the company, and i tell you, not alot are capable. However, you won't see that only a few made it to the top, there's numerous people have made it. but. They show you the number who succeeded in the company, did they show you the number of members who joined the company? Yes, through this multi-level marketing system, the company is probably earning insurmountable sum of money, Amway surely succeeded in ruining the majority of lives i guess.
From my view, different system or not, i still see it as a business path, you still need the communicative skills, the connections, and the thick skin to do it, the only difference is that they trick you into believing that you don't need none of those skills and syphoning your money through it.
My advice is that you don't believe anything you read or listen too damn seriously. You have your own mind, common sense and a bit of thinking by yourself will tell you whether my realist view or the influences of positive thinking in your life, makes better sense? Well, if you still can't tell, the most easiest way is to see who succeeds in life and who doesn't.
Oh and to a certain someone, i only know it from someone, but whether it is true or not, it seems the past is coming back to haunt you, even though we're not as close as were before, please be safe wherever you are.
29 January 2011
Daily Isolation [Day 16]
28th January 2011
Stayed home, holiday starts, did a bit of assignment.
Spent half the day playing Ghost Trick, and finishing it.
Stayed home, holiday starts, did a bit of assignment.
Spent half the day playing Ghost Trick, and finishing it.
28 January 2011
Daily Isolation [Day 15]
27th January 2011
Slept enough, today was an afternoon class.
Went to college, studied a bit, attended class, ate at shiok for one last time until CNY holiday ends. Went back home.
Watched Walking Dead.
Slept enough, today was an afternoon class.
Went to college, studied a bit, attended class, ate at shiok for one last time until CNY holiday ends. Went back home.
Watched Walking Dead.
27 January 2011
No, it's not about you. (About my tweets)
Mmmm, although the title may be quite literally true, as in most of the stuff i post is about me.
But it nevertheless suits to what i'm gonna talk about, which is about twitter tweets.
No more than 140 characters per tweet, and how much can you dish out of it? You can never write anything detailed enough to understand, or on the other hand, you can never write anything too simple to be of interests.
However, the uses of twitter seems to be a lot, albeit not detailed, advertise your blog, promote anything, inform your status/location, post famous quotes, follow horoscope predictions and much more. That said, the most common use for the average twitter would be to post 'moment of thoughts' as i would like to call them, because the things i often i see are what they are thinking at the moment. Which i would comment(to myself also) that they often give me the feeling of "mmm hmm" more than "oh, that's interesting."
That said, it's not to say tweets like that are boring but the act of doing it is quite unusual. First, if you imagine that if twitter was for yourself only, you would be the only one twitting and only one to know about it. Similarly in real life, thoughts are confined to yourself. Why this use of twitter seems unusual is because with it, thoughts are made in real life although not necessarily accurate in time. It's like people can reach other minds and send each other messages through it.
Personally, i may have taken the use too deep, sometimes, i will go overboard and twit something bad about people, which for me, respectively reflects what i'm thinking at the moment. But you have to understand, it is that 'instability' as Kim calls it, causes such thoughts. I don't know how many readers will ever remember this to his/her heart cause i have talked(metaphorically speaking) about it countless time here. But anyhow, it's simply that due to my solitude-like-life and fluctuations of mood that causes my insatiable desire to express my feelings not restrictively. Although not to the extend of saying who's who, you should only take the tweets as a pinch of salt, i'm not saying to disbelieve it but don't misunderstand me or misinterpret me.
And for Gods sake, don't ASSUME anything, i can't emphasize this enough, there's alot of people(including me) that likes to do that, and so before you do that, CONFRONT me about certain tweets that you find suspicious, i will tell the truth as long as it does not result the loss of a friend, or involve a loss of an arm, just saying. But how likely does that ever happen, i talked about so many sensitive stuffs, up till today, nobody's interested in talking about it, with me.
I'm just gonna tell you that, i'm a person that prefers to be neutral and a secret keeper, i've never truly talked bad about people, i'm just stating the obvious to what is witnessed by my own eyes and heard from my own ears. Any assumptions i make are merely just that, i don't believe in them but it is the possibilities that are present before the truth becomes apparent.
But seriously, when i think about myself, the only thing i think is the cause of the deterrence of friends talking to me is my stupid "you talk, i talk" attitude to less-closer friends. Am i in any way, considered to have done something wrong to be hated or neglected? No, so i believe besides the cause of the lazy attitude, i have no reason to think i'm hated or neglected. Therefore, people are ignoring me, because i 'ignore' them.
You wanna know who, you wanna know why, talk to me about it, i'm not gonna stare at you, i'm not gonna eat you, i'm not gonna get mad at you, i'm just gonna blush and then openly talked to you about it.
Because your my friend and you have the right to know.
But it nevertheless suits to what i'm gonna talk about, which is about twitter tweets.
No more than 140 characters per tweet, and how much can you dish out of it? You can never write anything detailed enough to understand, or on the other hand, you can never write anything too simple to be of interests.
However, the uses of twitter seems to be a lot, albeit not detailed, advertise your blog, promote anything, inform your status/location, post famous quotes, follow horoscope predictions and much more. That said, the most common use for the average twitter would be to post 'moment of thoughts' as i would like to call them, because the things i often i see are what they are thinking at the moment. Which i would comment(to myself also) that they often give me the feeling of "mmm hmm" more than "oh, that's interesting."
That said, it's not to say tweets like that are boring but the act of doing it is quite unusual. First, if you imagine that if twitter was for yourself only, you would be the only one twitting and only one to know about it. Similarly in real life, thoughts are confined to yourself. Why this use of twitter seems unusual is because with it, thoughts are made in real life although not necessarily accurate in time. It's like people can reach other minds and send each other messages through it.
Personally, i may have taken the use too deep, sometimes, i will go overboard and twit something bad about people, which for me, respectively reflects what i'm thinking at the moment. But you have to understand, it is that 'instability' as Kim calls it, causes such thoughts. I don't know how many readers will ever remember this to his/her heart cause i have talked(metaphorically speaking) about it countless time here. But anyhow, it's simply that due to my solitude-like-life and fluctuations of mood that causes my insatiable desire to express my feelings not restrictively. Although not to the extend of saying who's who, you should only take the tweets as a pinch of salt, i'm not saying to disbelieve it but don't misunderstand me or misinterpret me.
And for Gods sake, don't ASSUME anything, i can't emphasize this enough, there's alot of people(including me) that likes to do that, and so before you do that, CONFRONT me about certain tweets that you find suspicious, i will tell the truth as long as it does not result the loss of a friend, or involve a loss of an arm, just saying. But how likely does that ever happen, i talked about so many sensitive stuffs, up till today, nobody's interested in talking about it, with me.
I'm just gonna tell you that, i'm a person that prefers to be neutral and a secret keeper, i've never truly talked bad about people, i'm just stating the obvious to what is witnessed by my own eyes and heard from my own ears. Any assumptions i make are merely just that, i don't believe in them but it is the possibilities that are present before the truth becomes apparent.
But seriously, when i think about myself, the only thing i think is the cause of the deterrence of friends talking to me is my stupid "you talk, i talk" attitude to less-closer friends. Am i in any way, considered to have done something wrong to be hated or neglected? No, so i believe besides the cause of the lazy attitude, i have no reason to think i'm hated or neglected. Therefore, people are ignoring me, because i 'ignore' them.
You wanna know who, you wanna know why, talk to me about it, i'm not gonna stare at you, i'm not gonna eat you, i'm not gonna get mad at you, i'm just gonna blush and then openly talked to you about it.
Because your my friend and you have the right to know.
Daily Isolation [Day 14]
26th January 2011
heavy feeling on the chest when i woke up.
Went to tutorials, went to Shiok, went for criminal law lecture, briefly analysed and answered a question.
Came back home at 6, slept from 7 to 12 midnight, blog, which is the next post.
heavy feeling on the chest when i woke up.
Went to tutorials, went to Shiok, went for criminal law lecture, briefly analysed and answered a question.
Came back home at 6, slept from 7 to 12 midnight, blog, which is the next post.
25 January 2011
Daily Isolation [Day 13]
25th January 2011
unwillingly woke up by mum calling me through phone, went to college. On the way, called restaurant to only reserve for one table.
attended class, saw only a few people wore red, wrote down what Ms. Nalina talked about, finished early. Went to restaurant, a few moments of lost but still managed to reach.
Talked, ate, took pictures, restaurant owner Mrs. Jeanie Lee chatted and personally catered to our needs.
Sent Chew Theng to Subang KTM Station, wrong turns made detours few times before reaching. Went back home through NKVE Highway.
Thanks to Chew Theng for finding the restaurant and helping me with organising.
Thanks to Chester for calculating the amount of money that should be paid, i'm not good with maths.
Thanks to Mrs. Lee for the delicious and interesting meal we had.
For this event to be even considered successful, it is because of the people attended and made it fun.
I would like to also thank to those that didn't come but still took ample amount of time to consider attending the event.
I may not be a good organiser/planner, but i will try even harder when the chance is given.
unwillingly woke up by mum calling me through phone, went to college. On the way, called restaurant to only reserve for one table.
attended class, saw only a few people wore red, wrote down what Ms. Nalina talked about, finished early. Went to restaurant, a few moments of lost but still managed to reach.
Talked, ate, took pictures, restaurant owner Mrs. Jeanie Lee chatted and personally catered to our needs.
Sent Chew Theng to Subang KTM Station, wrong turns made detours few times before reaching. Went back home through NKVE Highway.
 |
| [From left to right] Qian Yi, Jeremy, Junior, Stan, me, Chester, Kean Hoe, Elaine, Kim, Mrs. Lee, Chew Theng and Jo Ann. |
Thanks to Chester for calculating the amount of money that should be paid, i'm not good with maths.
Thanks to Mrs. Lee for the delicious and interesting meal we had.
For this event to be even considered successful, it is because of the people attended and made it fun.
I would like to also thank to those that didn't come but still took ample amount of time to consider attending the event.
I may not be a good organiser/planner, but i will try even harder when the chance is given.
24 January 2011
Daily Isolation [Day 12]
24th January 2011
Studied in the morning, attended class, studied in the evening, receive bad news, stuck through traffic jam, sleep until near midnight.
Studied in the morning, attended class, studied in the evening, receive bad news, stuck through traffic jam, sleep until near midnight.
Two things i want to talk about. [Long post]
There's one thing that got me thinking. Since i'm so analytical about all that friendship/trust/love/relationship or what ever emotions. Why haven't i gone towards being a psychiatrist or a therapist?
I think it's just not my interest or passion to gain a phd on understanding people. The way i see it, if you study it by book, there's a chance i won't be able to define people through my own way. Go through my blog you'll understand when i say i probably made a book on "Why you would behave in that way". In other words, my life is already the research i'm doing and through here, i write down my findings and theories.
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Which in actuality, i want to talk about for today, but i will do it as casually as i always have.
Generalising Men and Women
In my own views, generalising men and women is somewhat common to our society. But who does it, who implemented the idea of men being emotionally insensitive? who said women were more irrational? To my knowledge and for the modern society, it is mainly caused by the media we're exposed to and i believe the media even with scientific support, exaggerates the validity of the theories made.
However, the average people, more or less disbelieves what they have heard. In response, they believe it to be the opposite of what is proposed or theorised. But i'm here to say, in my opinion, taking sides in this arguments is a person with a one tracked mind.
Sure, physically it is scientifically proven man and woman differ, the height, the weight, the facial structure and all that anatomy crap. But for people to believe in such theories as suggested from above, it becomes objective to say what a man is able to while woman can't. Why? because of the human nature to feel more superior.
"Ladies, don't say you don't feel the same way, if it was back in the days, your thinking's would be correct but nowadays equality exist, not to mention extra privileges that you're able to enjoy now but it never seems to be enough, right?"
Now this is what i call one sided, but this is a subjective matter(in this context, it means it varies from one person to another), it may be true for some and at the same time, some of you will go ape sh*t against such statement being made. The latter response is also a subjective question, are you mad because it's not true, or are you mad because it's true but denying it?
Different minds, different thinking, different actions, regardless of gender
Always remember, not every girl is alike, not every guy is the same, in terms of our thinking. This is what i like to emphasize about, both men and women are capable of being equal or better than each other. To be generalised by media, especially shows that are discriminative or manipulative in nature is something you should never be taken too serious of. While for individuals who give in to such beliefs can never be reasoned with, you can go head to toes with them but they are as immovable as the donkeys in Ireland. However, i can see why, because if you were to go into their shoes, it's possible that belief is made reality by the people around them.
And to be honest, one's mind is easily influenced if you never see the world as a whole and think for yourself. I've been there before in the past, one belief would be thinking that women nowadays only look for the rich and/or handsome. But that extends to men too.
Generalising is only bad if you took it from a narrow view, in a wider view or in other words when you interact with different people, you'll see that the amount of exceptional individuals of each general assumption of the public is much larger in quantity as it has been perceived by the society.
Understanding and accepting other peoples views/opinions and suggestions.
But nowadays, what constructed this dividing wall of men and women is probably the dwindling number of good people. Chivalry, honesty, loyalty, generosity and most importantly kindness and understanding, the ability to understand and fully accept one's existence/behaviour/thinking/actions and hence give support/help to the individual. Currently, i'm trying to instil this important trait through here and from example. Without it, there can never be a peaceful compromise between conflicting minds, revenge and hatred will always be present in the individuals mind and discrimination will always exist.
There's one moral value that is taught in our education institutes, and i wish to be reformed and add the important trait i mentioned, the moral value i'm talking about is tolerance, the reason for it is that after tolerance, for an example, a friend has a different opinion/view on the subject matter, you don't agree to it but mentions it to you, so if we only the step of just tolerating, are you able to tolerate it forever?
Often or not is not a factor because everyone has different levels of tolerance, but one day you'll eventually snap, or go ape sh*t. I find this situation to happen more often than not, behind the back of their dear friends.
It should be added that the next step you should take is understanding why your friend has a different opinion/view, how ever conflicting it is between yours, you have to understand why was it valid or correct for him/her to believe so. Remember, discussing is not the same as arguing, don't be too hard and directive in the conversation. Always listen what the other has to say.
After that , if you think it made sense to think that way, then you should come to a decision to accept his/her thinking. Even if it did not make sense, it made sense for the individual your conflicted with, so why try so hard to convince someone who can still live with what they believe in?
Anger and its inability to compromise
I for one, being a somewhat, ill-tempered, still wants to change that side of me, anger is always what leads to my emotional stress and i don't like it is affecting my life.
I met a lot of angry people myself, it's not whether this people like or don't like to be angry, it's just that anger is a much more susceptible to feel and more or less easier to shout out their opinions/views against the individual, rather than to calm themselves and think out a peaceful solution. See, if i wasn't as understanding as i am to others, i would have triggered the "Rage Button" countless times.
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All that is said and a lot was said, props to readers that are able to read until here, this way of thinking, that general rules of men and women are not so general after all, but it is hard to maintain and even harder to express, given that it is more easier to generalise something rather be analytical about it. Not a fast way to express your thoughts but it's true.
While the people who are understanding and accepting of people and their minds. It is nice to say that it can be cultivated if you are willing to take the steps for it, rather than be silent and tolerate it until it is impossible to do so. One should be open hearted, all the time when discussing something, always. Communication is much much needed, take it from me, a silent observer who cheers for the chances that he gets to chat with a single soul for a sufficient time.
I'm gonna put this post as a standalone page :D
I think it's just not my interest or passion to gain a phd on understanding people. The way i see it, if you study it by book, there's a chance i won't be able to define people through my own way. Go through my blog you'll understand when i say i probably made a book on "Why you would behave in that way". In other words, my life is already the research i'm doing and through here, i write down my findings and theories.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Which in actuality, i want to talk about for today, but i will do it as casually as i always have.
Generalising Men and Women
In my own views, generalising men and women is somewhat common to our society. But who does it, who implemented the idea of men being emotionally insensitive? who said women were more irrational? To my knowledge and for the modern society, it is mainly caused by the media we're exposed to and i believe the media even with scientific support, exaggerates the validity of the theories made.
However, the average people, more or less disbelieves what they have heard. In response, they believe it to be the opposite of what is proposed or theorised. But i'm here to say, in my opinion, taking sides in this arguments is a person with a one tracked mind.
Sure, physically it is scientifically proven man and woman differ, the height, the weight, the facial structure and all that anatomy crap. But for people to believe in such theories as suggested from above, it becomes objective to say what a man is able to while woman can't. Why? because of the human nature to feel more superior.
"Ladies, don't say you don't feel the same way, if it was back in the days, your thinking's would be correct but nowadays equality exist, not to mention extra privileges that you're able to enjoy now but it never seems to be enough, right?"
Now this is what i call one sided, but this is a subjective matter(in this context, it means it varies from one person to another), it may be true for some and at the same time, some of you will go ape sh*t against such statement being made. The latter response is also a subjective question, are you mad because it's not true, or are you mad because it's true but denying it?
Different minds, different thinking, different actions, regardless of gender
Always remember, not every girl is alike, not every guy is the same, in terms of our thinking. This is what i like to emphasize about, both men and women are capable of being equal or better than each other. To be generalised by media, especially shows that are discriminative or manipulative in nature is something you should never be taken too serious of. While for individuals who give in to such beliefs can never be reasoned with, you can go head to toes with them but they are as immovable as the donkeys in Ireland. However, i can see why, because if you were to go into their shoes, it's possible that belief is made reality by the people around them.
And to be honest, one's mind is easily influenced if you never see the world as a whole and think for yourself. I've been there before in the past, one belief would be thinking that women nowadays only look for the rich and/or handsome. But that extends to men too.
Generalising is only bad if you took it from a narrow view, in a wider view or in other words when you interact with different people, you'll see that the amount of exceptional individuals of each general assumption of the public is much larger in quantity as it has been perceived by the society.
Understanding and accepting other peoples views/opinions and suggestions.
But nowadays, what constructed this dividing wall of men and women is probably the dwindling number of good people. Chivalry, honesty, loyalty, generosity and most importantly kindness and understanding, the ability to understand and fully accept one's existence/behaviour/thinking/actions and hence give support/help to the individual. Currently, i'm trying to instil this important trait through here and from example. Without it, there can never be a peaceful compromise between conflicting minds, revenge and hatred will always be present in the individuals mind and discrimination will always exist.
There's one moral value that is taught in our education institutes, and i wish to be reformed and add the important trait i mentioned, the moral value i'm talking about is tolerance, the reason for it is that after tolerance, for an example, a friend has a different opinion/view on the subject matter, you don't agree to it but mentions it to you, so if we only the step of just tolerating, are you able to tolerate it forever?
Often or not is not a factor because everyone has different levels of tolerance, but one day you'll eventually snap, or go ape sh*t. I find this situation to happen more often than not, behind the back of their dear friends.
It should be added that the next step you should take is understanding why your friend has a different opinion/view, how ever conflicting it is between yours, you have to understand why was it valid or correct for him/her to believe so. Remember, discussing is not the same as arguing, don't be too hard and directive in the conversation. Always listen what the other has to say.
After that , if you think it made sense to think that way, then you should come to a decision to accept his/her thinking. Even if it did not make sense, it made sense for the individual your conflicted with, so why try so hard to convince someone who can still live with what they believe in?
Anger and its inability to compromise
I for one, being a somewhat, ill-tempered, still wants to change that side of me, anger is always what leads to my emotional stress and i don't like it is affecting my life.
I met a lot of angry people myself, it's not whether this people like or don't like to be angry, it's just that anger is a much more susceptible to feel and more or less easier to shout out their opinions/views against the individual, rather than to calm themselves and think out a peaceful solution. See, if i wasn't as understanding as i am to others, i would have triggered the "Rage Button" countless times.
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All that is said and a lot was said, props to readers that are able to read until here, this way of thinking, that general rules of men and women are not so general after all, but it is hard to maintain and even harder to express, given that it is more easier to generalise something rather be analytical about it. Not a fast way to express your thoughts but it's true.
While the people who are understanding and accepting of people and their minds. It is nice to say that it can be cultivated if you are willing to take the steps for it, rather than be silent and tolerate it until it is impossible to do so. One should be open hearted, all the time when discussing something, always. Communication is much much needed, take it from me, a silent observer who cheers for the chances that he gets to chat with a single soul for a sufficient time.
I'm gonna put this post as a standalone page :D
23 January 2011
Daily Isolation [Day 11]
January 23rd 2011
Ermm, did some research on my public law assignment i guess.
Stayed at my room most of the time.
Fooled around with google image search. Try searching "jake terng“ in the image section, scroll down, and wonder why.
Ermm, did some research on my public law assignment i guess.
Stayed at my room most of the time.
Fooled around with google image search. Try searching "jake terng“ in the image section, scroll down, and wonder why.
22 January 2011
Friends confronting? Plans on a 自由餐 at my house? What's with you Jake?
i was going to write whiny stuff about myself, again. But i rather not, and probably the readers think so too.
I feel like i can understand how the readers feel when they read my blog. They probably would think "Damn, this guy is soooo emo and whine like a bitch everyday, i'm sick of it." Well, the feelings mutual, because even i myself don't understand why i need to write all this crap up in the net, yet in real life, it's darn boring in terms of expressing myself.
Another reason it would seem that i'm super-emotional in the internet is that i simply write it out directly without any ambiguity. That alone can exaggerate 10x times what in real life is happening. It's a good thing and a bad thing about it.
Good thing about it is people understand me through here, albeit not many people have the level of concentration to read all of it because it mainly about myself and my views, nothing concrete in real life, but refer to "Daily Isolation" posts, what's really interesting and concrete about my life? I think the most exciting thing happening in my life right now is, blogging.
Bad thing about it is people and why i say people, it's like maybe 2 or 3 persons? acts differently. Now, i'm not saying anything but it's just, awkwaaaard. Because besides at home, which the only other place i interact with people, the college, i don't like "intimacy" from out of nowhere, such as suddenly talk about that i wrote here.
Of course, there's no such thing as "a right place and a right time" in reality, so things like happen, but to my favour, it does not happen regularly on a basis, given that i only have a handful of close friends and even less would attempt to have this kind of conversation. Maybe on the outside, i look boring, uninterested in others and focuses on serious activities rather than trying to bond with my friends. In ways it's true, but even 'truer' is that it's a ruse to cover up what's inside and that's written and expressed through here. For a simple yet obvious example would be stuffs like confessions, suspicions, crushes and all that sensitive that you readers will never post up in the internet under normal circumstances.
Well i envy that part of you readers and fellow normal bloggers, because obviously, you have friends to talk about it. I hope you understand, there are things that it's inappropriate to talk about with family, and friends are the almost always the right people to comfortably talk about. So, basically here's the best next alternative for me.
That's why, for me, having a friend confronting me about something 'intimate' or 'secretive' is not a bad thing, in fact, it's precious to me as it feels like it happens only a few times in a lifetime. Because i understand it takes a different kind of courage to do so which, i do not have, and basically tells me that someone still cares/worries about me whole-heartedly.
Darn it, i'm doing it again, huh? I can't seem to break this habit of explaining further and further into things.
But you know how i deal with things that turns out wrong? I just go, "Bah, forget it." that's how easy i cope with things, on the outside. Like the CNY Reunion planning, i know things won't turn out my way, people won't come, people won't pay, people aren't enthusiastic about it, etc.. But like hell i care, i just want it to happen, the consequences that comes with it, either emotionally or financially, i'll bear it for the sake of it happening.
Heck, i'm already thinking of planning a 自由餐, or buffet-like dinner at my house after CNY holidays, whoever is interested and willing to come are most welcomed, don't matter any will come or how many "Sorry, can't make it." i'll receive. Hell yeah, i'm crazy!
I feel like i can understand how the readers feel when they read my blog. They probably would think "Damn, this guy is soooo emo and whine like a bitch everyday, i'm sick of it." Well, the feelings mutual, because even i myself don't understand why i need to write all this crap up in the net, yet in real life, it's darn boring in terms of expressing myself.
Another reason it would seem that i'm super-emotional in the internet is that i simply write it out directly without any ambiguity. That alone can exaggerate 10x times what in real life is happening. It's a good thing and a bad thing about it.
Good thing about it is people understand me through here, albeit not many people have the level of concentration to read all of it because it mainly about myself and my views, nothing concrete in real life, but refer to "Daily Isolation" posts, what's really interesting and concrete about my life? I think the most exciting thing happening in my life right now is, blogging.
Bad thing about it is people and why i say people, it's like maybe 2 or 3 persons? acts differently. Now, i'm not saying anything but it's just, awkwaaaard. Because besides at home, which the only other place i interact with people, the college, i don't like "intimacy" from out of nowhere, such as suddenly talk about that i wrote here.
Of course, there's no such thing as "a right place and a right time" in reality, so things like happen, but to my favour, it does not happen regularly on a basis, given that i only have a handful of close friends and even less would attempt to have this kind of conversation. Maybe on the outside, i look boring, uninterested in others and focuses on serious activities rather than trying to bond with my friends. In ways it's true, but even 'truer' is that it's a ruse to cover up what's inside and that's written and expressed through here. For a simple yet obvious example would be stuffs like confessions, suspicions, crushes and all that sensitive that you readers will never post up in the internet under normal circumstances.
Well i envy that part of you readers and fellow normal bloggers, because obviously, you have friends to talk about it. I hope you understand, there are things that it's inappropriate to talk about with family, and friends are the almost always the right people to comfortably talk about. So, basically here's the best next alternative for me.
That's why, for me, having a friend confronting me about something 'intimate' or 'secretive' is not a bad thing, in fact, it's precious to me as it feels like it happens only a few times in a lifetime. Because i understand it takes a different kind of courage to do so which, i do not have, and basically tells me that someone still cares/worries about me whole-heartedly.
Darn it, i'm doing it again, huh? I can't seem to break this habit of explaining further and further into things.
But you know how i deal with things that turns out wrong? I just go, "Bah, forget it." that's how easy i cope with things, on the outside. Like the CNY Reunion planning, i know things won't turn out my way, people won't come, people won't pay, people aren't enthusiastic about it, etc.. But like hell i care, i just want it to happen, the consequences that comes with it, either emotionally or financially, i'll bear it for the sake of it happening.
Heck, i'm already thinking of planning a 自由餐, or buffet-like dinner at my house after CNY holidays, whoever is interested and willing to come are most welcomed, don't matter any will come or how many "Sorry, can't make it." i'll receive. Hell yeah, i'm crazy!
Daily Isolation [Day 9]
21st January 2011
Another day wasted, used it up to make an online game work.
Procrastination's so strong, i could do anything to end it.
Another day wasted, used it up to make an online game work.
Procrastination's so strong, i could do anything to end it.
21 January 2011
Do you fit in as a 'Main Character'?
Sometimes, like right now, i think about what role do i play in this world. Am i one of the many main characters(from now on, refer to as MC) of this world, or am i more of a supportive character(from now on refer to as SC? When i think about it, there are situations that makes me play both role, as it is for everyone's life.
Daily Isolation [Day 8]
20th January 2011
Kinda wasteful day, played a frustrating yet addictive game, Super Meat Boy.
That is the main activity, in between, help a bit of chores, cleaned a bit of my car.
Kinda wasteful day, played a frustrating yet addictive game, Super Meat Boy.
That is the main activity, in between, help a bit of chores, cleaned a bit of my car.
20 January 2011
Daily Isolation [Day 7]
19th January 2011
Getting coughs again. College, classes, lunch at shiok, classes, studied, went back home. In between, talked to people, observed at people.
Watched How to Train A Dragon.
Getting coughs again. College, classes, lunch at shiok, classes, studied, went back home. In between, talked to people, observed at people.
Watched How to Train A Dragon.
19 January 2011
Too late to realize, too late to say sorry.
Quite often i sing when i'm alone driving in the car. This could be for many reasons, one would be i'm feeling happy about today, or when am i'm just feeling sentimental.
But mostly, it's just because i don't talk much, and that makes restless and irritated. Which is why the only time i can open my mouth for more than 5 minutes is in the car.
I guess results of
But mostly, it's just because i don't talk much, and that makes restless and irritated. Which is why the only time i can open my mouth for more than 5 minutes is in the car.
I guess results of
18 January 2011
Daily Isolation [Day 6]
18th January 2011
Woke up at 8 in the morning. Never slept comfortably, too worried about tomorrow.
Went to college, at 10. Ate lunch at Shiok, again, became mayor of the place in foursquare. Did booking for the "reunion dinner".
Studied until 5, talked to Junior when he came. about 5.30 started to go back home after the rain. Drew something in between.
Woke up at 8 in the morning. Never slept comfortably, too worried about tomorrow.
Went to college, at 10. Ate lunch at Shiok, again, became mayor of the place in foursquare. Did booking for the "reunion dinner".
Studied until 5, talked to Junior when he came. about 5.30 started to go back home after the rain. Drew something in between.
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| Don't ask me what it is aside it being a sword. |
Daily Isolation [Day 5]
[I just want to review how my life goes each day that passes by and this is the simplest and fastest way to write it down.]
Sent my brother and mum to KLCC, they were waiting for dad to go get the car fixed.
Drove around there, was kinda lost but found my way to college.
Attended public law lecture, as usual, few exchanges of words between friends.
After class, went to get home-made snacks from Chester. Went back home afterwards.
Uploaded pictures from yesterday. Studied a bit.
Thought to myself, 'something feels different now, like something happened without letting me know of it. Gossiping behind my back?'
I don't know, i don't really care.
17 January 2011
Daily Isolation [Day 4]
16th January 2011
Went to Kelab Darul Ehsan for Winnie's birthday dinner/party.
Was asked to be the photographer, got to the place 1 or 2 hours earlier. Waited at car and then walked around the place.
Took tons of picture, my back was aching, watched some performances, celebrated her birthday.
When was about to go back, couldn't start the car. Called my family, tried everything possible, just sat there, thinking.
They came, also tried everything, but failed. Left the car and fetched me back home.
Went to Kelab Darul Ehsan for Winnie's birthday dinner/party.
Was asked to be the photographer, got to the place 1 or 2 hours earlier. Waited at car and then walked around the place.
Took tons of picture, my back was aching, watched some performances, celebrated her birthday.
When was about to go back, couldn't start the car. Called my family, tried everything possible, just sat there, thinking.
They came, also tried everything, but failed. Left the car and fetched me back home.
16 January 2011
15 January 2011
Daily Isolation [Day 2]
14th January 2011
Woke up at 12.30 noon, played games, decided to make a WHIC episode.
At 6.30 pm, got my 3-year driving license.
Finished episode at midnight.
Woke up at 12.30 noon, played games, decided to make a WHIC episode.
At 6.30 pm, got my 3-year driving license.
Finished episode at midnight.
14 January 2011
Daily Isolation [Day 1]
13th January 2011.
Woke up at 12 noon, slept late. Went to college afterwards, went to class, saw someone face to face for the first time this year, almost couldn't recognize the person.
Class was contract, talked a bit with one person, class ended, went to third floor, seen several faces, went to Shiok to eat. Came back, saw friends leaving, sat down, studied for a bit but mostly drew a random girl in my book during it. Was just trying to draw my feelings out.
About 7.15 pm, getting dark, packed up, walked to Tun Sambathan Monorail Station, saw blind people, didn't help. Went to my car, sat there for a few moments, and then drove back home. Sang loudly in the car.
Came back home, surfed the internet.
Woke up at 12 noon, slept late. Went to college afterwards, went to class, saw someone face to face for the first time this year, almost couldn't recognize the person.
Class was contract, talked a bit with one person, class ended, went to third floor, seen several faces, went to Shiok to eat. Came back, saw friends leaving, sat down, studied for a bit but mostly drew a random girl in my book during it. Was just trying to draw my feelings out.
About 7.15 pm, getting dark, packed up, walked to Tun Sambathan Monorail Station, saw blind people, didn't help. Went to my car, sat there for a few moments, and then drove back home. Sang loudly in the car.
Came back home, surfed the internet.
13 January 2011
自己拿来的。
我跟我妈说了这件事，
她没当它是一件回事。
但是，她同意说朋友少跟我交往，
是我自己固执，
是我自己懒惰， 甘愿等朋友来跟我讲话
也说是应为他们对我没有兴趣了。
那我就要问我自己，为什么？
我可以给的理由是，
我自私，我对友情方面黯淡。
也许是我从UKT开始，给了自己一大堆的理由，
比如说因为要应付考试，而少联络。
当我今天在 1 Utama，
一边跟我妈走，
一边谈这件事。
我跟她说：“这里的女人衣服的店，我都有去过，是因为我以前跟Kim走过一趟。”
她回问我：“那为什么她不再叫你出来shopping了？”
我回答她：“不知道，也许像其他人，我们自间的友情也开始淡了。”
她回应我：“那就打个电话，问个究竟吧。”
她的建议使我停顿了一会儿；我正么可能这样直接哪？
或许，我先认为做了会让自己感到很尴尬的一件事情。
但是，她没有说错，我是应该问清楚在才做个结论。
真真的问题是，我不敢。不懂为什么，但是事实上是我害怕。
I have said all i can say.
There's no point constantly trying to justify my actions to myself.
Most of you guys probably hate me by now, since i wrote too much sensitive stuff.
I don't have anything to complain anymore, i'm just getting tired of getting worked up over nothin, every single day.
她没当它是一件回事。
但是，她同意说朋友少跟我交往，
是我自己固执，
是我自己懒惰， 甘愿等朋友来跟我讲话
也说是应为他们对我没有兴趣了。
那我就要问我自己，为什么？
我可以给的理由是，
我自私，我对友情方面黯淡。
也许是我从UKT开始，给了自己一大堆的理由，
比如说因为要应付考试，而少联络。
当我今天在 1 Utama，
一边跟我妈走，
一边谈这件事。
我跟她说：“这里的女人衣服的店，我都有去过，是因为我以前跟Kim走过一趟。”
她回问我：“那为什么她不再叫你出来shopping了？”
我回答她：“不知道，也许像其他人，我们自间的友情也开始淡了。”
她回应我：“那就打个电话，问个究竟吧。”
她的建议使我停顿了一会儿；我正么可能这样直接哪？
或许，我先认为做了会让自己感到很尴尬的一件事情。
但是，她没有说错，我是应该问清楚在才做个结论。
真真的问题是，我不敢。不懂为什么，但是事实上是我害怕。
I have said all i can say.
There's no point constantly trying to justify my actions to myself.
Most of you guys probably hate me by now, since i wrote too much sensitive stuff.
I don't have anything to complain anymore, i'm just getting tired of getting worked up over nothin, every single day.
12 January 2011
Mentioning someone.
Don't worry, not another angry/sad post from me, maybe a little emotional(as always). I was able to recollect some positivity back in my mind today and want to keep it that way for a while if possible.
So relax and read on.
It's just a short post on 'blog habits' again, yeah i find myself lacking of content in my blogs even though i've preach about it all the time. On the contrary, i write alot about myself, however, the things i wrote, more or less, does not tell 'how am i doing these days'.
Well, the reason i don't talk about it is rather simple, comparing to the blogs i read, such as Jo Ann's, Michele's, Kexin's, MQ's and other bloggers. My life is, plain dull. I never been to concerts before, i don't have a girlfriend to go out with, i never have baby cousins or anything particularly interesting in MSN, i've never been to any of the foreign countries you all went, i don't get a tattoo every so often, i don't work full/part time, i don't hang out often, i don't have alot of friends.
Day in, day out. My activities are either playing games, interacting with my family members, or going to college, not to socialize but more of being attentive in classes since again by comparison with real top-notch students, i'm lazy and untalented yet i try to be better. Not that i don't want to enjoy life but, not to say i'm anti-social, i'm indirectly neglecting my friends, sort of.
I don't see no harm to others saying this except maybe the harm is directed to me. But, our group, starting off as a small one, gradually gets bigger, and at some one, it gets smaller, smaller in many ways, one of it being the original huge group, now splitting into smaller groups. There's still a large group in our college, but it is scattered when there is no need to gather together.
In fact, there hasn't been a need for it the whole group meeting casually, it may seem that it is due to different schedules etc but honestly, it didn't matter before in the past. But i guess people gradually grew apart, mainly it's because when you have someone you get along and are able to meet everyday, better than the other friends, you tend to, 'disregard' the one's aren't as close.
Kim's group. Lee Tat's group. Chew Theng's group. And the others. I want to say couples but they exist whatever group you have, although it is somehow, particularly affects my current position. Sitting together in class, is just sitting together, being the guy that looks at people in an overall view, maybe a few sentences between each group during breaks but nothing more, in my view, they'll eventually talk the persons next to them more. A gathering for lunch is rare nowadays, i know because nobody mentions it anymore and i find myself more than often have lunch alone, don't feel sad for me, i'm used to it and like it in a way.
But you don't need me to tell you that, don't you? I don't have anything to complain about the situation i am in, but it definitely affects where i stand in the whole group. And i am sort of standing no where, i don't belong to any of the group when you think about it.
Why? Because originally, i don't belong to any smaller groups, i belonged to the whole group.
The reasons i assume would be that it's because there were key persons, people who were able to hold the group together, i'm not sure who they are, maybe the one's that always lead the group to adventures? maybe the one's that always put a smile in everyone's face? or maybe the one's who constantly tries to capture memories?
So relax and read on.
It's just a short post on 'blog habits' again, yeah i find myself lacking of content in my blogs even though i've preach about it all the time. On the contrary, i write alot about myself, however, the things i wrote, more or less, does not tell 'how am i doing these days'.
Well, the reason i don't talk about it is rather simple, comparing to the blogs i read, such as Jo Ann's, Michele's, Kexin's, MQ's and other bloggers. My life is, plain dull. I never been to concerts before, i don't have a girlfriend to go out with, i never have baby cousins or anything particularly interesting in MSN, i've never been to any of the foreign countries you all went, i don't get a tattoo every so often, i don't work full/part time, i don't hang out often, i don't have alot of friends.
Day in, day out. My activities are either playing games, interacting with my family members, or going to college, not to socialize but more of being attentive in classes since again by comparison with real top-notch students, i'm lazy and untalented yet i try to be better. Not that i don't want to enjoy life but, not to say i'm anti-social, i'm indirectly neglecting my friends, sort of.
I don't see no harm to others saying this except maybe the harm is directed to me. But, our group, starting off as a small one, gradually gets bigger, and at some one, it gets smaller, smaller in many ways, one of it being the original huge group, now splitting into smaller groups. There's still a large group in our college, but it is scattered when there is no need to gather together.
In fact, there hasn't been a need for it the whole group meeting casually, it may seem that it is due to different schedules etc but honestly, it didn't matter before in the past. But i guess people gradually grew apart, mainly it's because when you have someone you get along and are able to meet everyday, better than the other friends, you tend to, 'disregard' the one's aren't as close.
Kim's group. Lee Tat's group. Chew Theng's group. And the others. I want to say couples but they exist whatever group you have, although it is somehow, particularly affects my current position. Sitting together in class, is just sitting together, being the guy that looks at people in an overall view, maybe a few sentences between each group during breaks but nothing more, in my view, they'll eventually talk the persons next to them more. A gathering for lunch is rare nowadays, i know because nobody mentions it anymore and i find myself more than often have lunch alone, don't feel sad for me, i'm used to it and like it in a way.
But you don't need me to tell you that, don't you? I don't have anything to complain about the situation i am in, but it definitely affects where i stand in the whole group. And i am sort of standing no where, i don't belong to any of the group when you think about it.
Why? Because originally, i don't belong to any smaller groups, i belonged to the whole group.
 |
| See. A whole, friggin, group. |
Anyhow, i'm solo because of one simple reason, i don't have the usual camera strap to my pants. The camera has been my only way of staying/connecting with my friends. By not having it, i effectively am another person i guess, who that guy is, i'm not sure, probably just an emo with an emo blog writing emo stuffs, did you guys know emos are actually a a kind of ostrich?
But seriously, there doesn't seem to be anything common between each other anymore, maybe lesser, my level of communicating is, as everybody knows, quite low so not many would find interest in talking to a stuttering-uninteresting guy like me.
ANYWAYS, straying far from my point, nothing's happening to me of recent, i avoid secondary school friends, college friends too, indirectly. Spending most of the time with my family, mostly at home. I don't think i'm anything special to deserve any special treatment. Maybe that'll change, maybe it won't, but i won't sulk on it. Life's not bad that bad, at least, i'm considered to still have friends, right?
.
.
11 January 2011
It could've been worse.
Mr. William last minute cancellation of class again.
Along with miscellaneous accidents and stressful events, today's a day that i say, staying at home is better and nothing bad happens there.
A few days, I suddenly started to help plan the CNY event by doing most of the general stuff, not the most favourable choice out of the people but best choice given nobody take the first steps, sadly, someone poked the wrong guy to do it and the usual peeps are not willing to lead. Well, i understand a bit why, nobody wants to take too much of a responsibility, unless, unless when someone asks you to.
Why did i say i was a bad choice? aside from the emotional and mild insanity i currently 'fight' against on a daily basis,
1. I'm not influential.
2. I'm not a people's person.
3. Nobody looks up on me.
4. I'm not social.
and finally, because of the above, nobody's particularly interested in me planning it. Rather, people will instead talk about it without me in it. Which, results me being strict, because when nobody's taking my plan serious, it's easier moving towards controlling through the assumption of power.
Along with miscellaneous accidents and stressful events, today's a day that i say, staying at home is better and nothing bad happens there.
A few days, I suddenly started to help plan the CNY event by doing most of the general stuff, not the most favourable choice out of the people but best choice given nobody take the first steps, sadly, someone poked the wrong guy to do it and the usual peeps are not willing to lead. Well, i understand a bit why, nobody wants to take too much of a responsibility, unless, unless when someone asks you to.
Why did i say i was a bad choice? aside from the emotional and mild insanity i currently 'fight' against on a daily basis,
1. I'm not influential.
2. I'm not a people's person.
3. Nobody looks up on me.
4. I'm not social.
and finally, because of the above, nobody's particularly interested in me planning it. Rather, people will instead talk about it without me in it. Which, results me being strict, because when nobody's taking my plan serious, it's easier moving towards controlling through the assumption of power.
I have been indirectly cold and sarcastic when administrating the event in the facebook. I would like to continue saying why i am unmotivated about doing this but then again, i'm just ranting.
I've taken up the responsibility so i shall see it succeed, being a Leo and all and even though at the end nobody appreciates safe for a few on what you do like it happened naturally;
who doesn't like making rules, chasing debts, restricting minds, controlling, ordering and questioning around all day long?
Well, i like to apologize for being an arse here but i can't seem to feel sorry for being uncaring.
Honestly why am i unmotivated? The fact that our once huge group, even though separated, has screwed up and drama happening all around it. The thought of people not going because of an issue between each other, the thought of misunderstandings caused unnecessary hatred, the thought of being intolerable about one's personality or beliefs cause discrimination(not in the sense of racism)... it just infuriates me there are stubborn blocks who are unable to accept fault or forgive the mistakes or forget the grudge.
Before i say this, i must first say it's only my view on things, people may not have taken seriously on what the say about something, if you want read on seriously, read on with a pinch of salt only.
I hear things from friends that their friends would not like to hear. Yeah, you know one thing about being the listener, is that you don't gossip someone's back but listen to the one's who do, and i listened to a lot of people. As a friend, i'm only able to advice the otherwise, but you know what's ironic, everyone's doing it.
*After sighing a long one*
That's probably the bad news of having a large group of friends i guess. Sometimes i wonder why my real-self can ignore all this crap when i'm here able to analyse every bad aspect of it. I presume he still wants to believe and hold onto something in his life, still believing that there are people untainted by this world.
09 January 2011
Cleaning and adding.
Couldn't resist to change my blog again, well it's the year 2011, so why not give it a change of looks. Besides the background i used was kinda messy. Not implying that i don't like the bunch of you beside my blog, or am i?
Anyhow, i'm just going to update my current status, well, what can i say, although a week has passed by, nothing much happened, except for Tuesday, woke up at 8.30 something, went to college only to realize there wasn't a class on that day. Thought i'd studied for a bit but couldn't concentrate, watched a couple of episodes of Kuroshitsuji.
Met Kean Hoe around 12 to 1, seems like he was sort of in the same situation as me. Decided to go eat together, called Junior, luckily, he was free, so we went to a cafe around Kepong and chat for like 3 hours and we went our separate ways, gladly the traffic was not bad. Coincidence or fate? I don't really care.
Classes resume as normal, when you have little interactions with people, the moment lectures comes to a halt, i'm already on my way back home, that's how it has become for me, nothing's the same as before. But hey, who's complaining, oh my bad, probably just me.
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Be sure to check out "More about me" on the left-handside widget, which of course, concerns myself, they are just twits i favourited in twitter while elaborating in more detail in the page. Will regularly update on the page so remember to check it more often.
This is Jake, telling you that my life currently is firetrucking boring compared to the majority of people i know.
Anyhow, i'm just going to update my current status, well, what can i say, although a week has passed by, nothing much happened, except for Tuesday, woke up at 8.30 something, went to college only to realize there wasn't a class on that day. Thought i'd studied for a bit but couldn't concentrate, watched a couple of episodes of Kuroshitsuji.
Met Kean Hoe around 12 to 1, seems like he was sort of in the same situation as me. Decided to go eat together, called Junior, luckily, he was free, so we went to a cafe around Kepong and chat for like 3 hours and we went our separate ways, gladly the traffic was not bad. Coincidence or fate? I don't really care.
Classes resume as normal, when you have little interactions with people, the moment lectures comes to a halt, i'm already on my way back home, that's how it has become for me, nothing's the same as before. But hey, who's complaining, oh my bad, probably just me.
----------------------------
Be sure to check out "More about me" on the left-handside widget, which of course, concerns myself, they are just twits i favourited in twitter while elaborating in more detail in the page. Will regularly update on the page so remember to check it more often.
This is Jake, telling you that my life currently is firetrucking boring compared to the majority of people i know.
07 January 2011
I only understand the average person.
I would go so far as to say, i don't truly understand anyone, safe for a few.
My understanding of someone, mainly friends, is purely based on observations.
It's really hard to keep a peaceful mind with this constant coughing, it's dragging me down, constantly moody and refrains me even more from socialising.
I hate being sick, it has been almost a year since i last got this sick.
I guess i'm still human, there's still going to be chances of me getting quite sick even i had increased my immune systems through increased and controlled consumption of nutrition.
I have been looking through horoscope descriptions, right now i'm being reminded a Leo is suppose to be a natural leader, i find that hard for myself to believe i am one.
I'm not influential or capable of maintaining order or peace. So far, i haven't been able to say i had lead people on my own, usually i'm the one who follows or can be seen as a third in command. I failed continuously trying to do it alone, considering where i stand among my friends, i'm mostly just the cameraman, but right now, i'm even less than that, i'm just someone with a "friend" tagged on his shirt.
When i can't be the one to lead, most likely it's going to be a team situation, which gives people a sense everyone is equal in organising the event, it is more efficient. When you think about it, there's no need for a leader, why did we need a leader when we can assign ourselves to do specific tasks? What the hell does the leader do anyway?
But i still try, why? i don't know, maybe i'm the same as any other person, i want to be treated with respect and feel i'm actually worth something other than being just a friend or the cameraman.
One thing i hate more than being disrespected, is being used. I'm keeping myself from pointing fingers at the alleged people but as the saying goes, that the other three fingers is point back at yourself when you point at someone, but i'll never use someone purposely. It pains me to not be able repay someone's gratitude, a simple act of caring or helping could meant bringing a person smile for a day or maybe even a week after that person had helped you.
I don't understand why some people can feel nothing if people generously helped them, i say screw this kind of people, the help you've gotten shouldn't even had happen.
Do note, i'm not saying about "WHIC?", even though i know there are people who don't appreciate it and never did show any gratitude, i didn't do it out of karma, i did it purely out of responsibleness. However, i'm grateful for those few actually showed appreciation, and i consider even a simple thoughtful statement to be deeply satisfying and memorable. Thank you for supporting me even though i don't truly know how far it is true but believing it would suffice for me. In due time, i'll finish what i started.
Whether you were ignorant or just an firetrucking ass when you used me, just know that even though i have a good conscience, i'm an opportunist, i'm definitely going to find ways to make you pay me back and indirectly make you realize it..
My understanding of someone, mainly friends, is purely based on observations.
It's really hard to keep a peaceful mind with this constant coughing, it's dragging me down, constantly moody and refrains me even more from socialising.
I hate being sick, it has been almost a year since i last got this sick.
I guess i'm still human, there's still going to be chances of me getting quite sick even i had increased my immune systems through increased and controlled consumption of nutrition.
I have been looking through horoscope descriptions, right now i'm being reminded a Leo is suppose to be a natural leader, i find that hard for myself to believe i am one.
I'm not influential or capable of maintaining order or peace. So far, i haven't been able to say i had lead people on my own, usually i'm the one who follows or can be seen as a third in command. I failed continuously trying to do it alone, considering where i stand among my friends, i'm mostly just the cameraman, but right now, i'm even less than that, i'm just someone with a "friend" tagged on his shirt.
When i can't be the one to lead, most likely it's going to be a team situation, which gives people a sense everyone is equal in organising the event, it is more efficient. When you think about it, there's no need for a leader, why did we need a leader when we can assign ourselves to do specific tasks? What the hell does the leader do anyway?
But i still try, why? i don't know, maybe i'm the same as any other person, i want to be treated with respect and feel i'm actually worth something other than being just a friend or the cameraman.
One thing i hate more than being disrespected, is being used. I'm keeping myself from pointing fingers at the alleged people but as the saying goes, that the other three fingers is point back at yourself when you point at someone, but i'll never use someone purposely. It pains me to not be able repay someone's gratitude, a simple act of caring or helping could meant bringing a person smile for a day or maybe even a week after that person had helped you.
I don't understand why some people can feel nothing if people generously helped them, i say screw this kind of people, the help you've gotten shouldn't even had happen.
Do note, i'm not saying about "WHIC?", even though i know there are people who don't appreciate it and never did show any gratitude, i didn't do it out of karma, i did it purely out of responsibleness. However, i'm grateful for those few actually showed appreciation, and i consider even a simple thoughtful statement to be deeply satisfying and memorable. Thank you for supporting me even though i don't truly know how far it is true but believing it would suffice for me. In due time, i'll finish what i started.
Whether you were ignorant or just an firetrucking ass when you used me, just know that even though i have a good conscience, i'm an opportunist, i'm definitely going to find ways to make you pay me back and indirectly make you realize it..
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