It could've been worse.

Mr. William last minute cancellation of class again.

Along with miscellaneous accidents and stressful events, today's a day that i say, staying at home is better and nothing bad happens there.

A few days, I suddenly started to help plan the CNY event by doing most of the general stuff, not the  most favourable choice out of the people but best choice given nobody take the first steps, sadly, someone poked the wrong guy to do it and the usual peeps are not willing to lead. Well, i understand a bit why, nobody wants to take too much of a responsibility, unless, unless when someone asks you to.

Why did i say i was a bad choice? aside from the emotional and mild insanity i currently 'fight' against on a daily basis,

1. I'm not influential.
2. I'm not a people's person.
3. Nobody looks up on me.
4. I'm not social.

and finally, because of the above, nobody's particularly interested in me planning it. Rather, people will instead talk about it without me in it. Which, results me being strict, because when nobody's taking my plan serious, it's easier moving towards controlling through the assumption of power.

I have been indirectly cold and sarcastic when administrating the event in the facebook. I would like to continue saying why i am unmotivated about doing this but then again, i'm just ranting.

I've taken up the responsibility so i shall see it succeed, being a Leo and all and even though at the end nobody appreciates safe for a few on what you do like it happened naturally;

 who doesn't like making rules, chasing debts, restricting minds, controlling, ordering and questioning around all day long?

Well, i like to apologize for being an arse here but i can't seem to feel sorry for being uncaring. 

Honestly why am i unmotivated? The fact that our once huge group, even though separated, has screwed up and drama happening all around it. The thought of people not going because of an issue between each other, the thought of misunderstandings caused unnecessary hatred, the thought of being intolerable about one's personality or beliefs cause discrimination(not in the sense of racism)... it just infuriates me there are stubborn blocks who are unable to accept fault or forgive the mistakes or forget the grudge. 

Before i say this, i must first say it's only my view on things, people may not have taken seriously on what the say about something, if you want read on seriously, read on with a pinch of salt only. 

I hear things from friends that their friends would not like to hear. Yeah, you know one thing about being the listener, is that you don't gossip someone's back but listen to the one's who do, and i listened to a lot of people. As a friend, i'm only able to advice the otherwise, but you know what's ironic, everyone's doing it.

*After sighing a long one*

That's probably the bad news of having a large group of friends i guess. Sometimes i wonder why my real-self can ignore all this crap when i'm here able to analyse every bad aspect of it. I presume he still wants to believe and hold onto something in his life, still believing that there are people untainted by this world.