Mentioning someone.

Don't worry, not another angry/sad post from me, maybe a little emotional(as always). I was able to recollect some positivity back in my mind today and want to keep it that way for a while if possible.

So relax and read on.

It's just a short post on 'blog habits' again, yeah i find myself lacking of content in my blogs even though i've preach about it all the time. On the contrary, i write alot about myself, however, the things i wrote, more or less, does not tell 'how am i doing these days'.

Well, the reason i don't talk about it is rather simple, comparing to the blogs i read, such as Jo Ann's, Michele's, Kexin's, MQ's and other bloggers. My life is, plain dull. I never been to concerts before, i don't have a girlfriend to go out with, i never have baby cousins or anything particularly interesting in MSN, i've never been to any of the foreign countries you all went, i don't get a tattoo every so often, i don't work full/part time, i don't hang out often, i don't have alot of friends.

Day in, day out. My activities are either playing games, interacting with my family members, or going to college, not to socialize but more of being attentive in classes since again by comparison with real top-notch students, i'm lazy and untalented yet i try to be better. Not that i don't want to enjoy life but, not to say i'm anti-social, i'm indirectly neglecting my friends, sort of.

I don't see no harm to others saying this except maybe the harm is directed to me. But, our group, starting off as a small one, gradually gets bigger, and at some one, it gets smaller, smaller in many ways, one of it being the original huge group, now splitting into smaller groups. There's still a large group in our college, but it is scattered when there is no need to gather together.

In fact, there hasn't been a need for it the whole group meeting casually, it may seem that it is due to  different schedules etc but honestly, it didn't matter before in the past. But i guess people gradually grew apart, mainly it's because when you have someone you get along and are able to meet everyday, better than the other friends, you tend to, 'disregard' the one's aren't as close.

Kim's group. Lee Tat's group. Chew Theng's group. And the others. I want to say couples but they exist whatever group you have, although it is somehow, particularly affects my current position. Sitting together in class, is just sitting together, being the guy that looks at people in an overall view, maybe a few sentences between each group during breaks but nothing more, in my view, they'll eventually talk the persons next to them more. A gathering for lunch is rare nowadays, i know because nobody mentions it anymore and i find myself more than often have lunch alone, don't feel sad for me, i'm used to it and like it in a way.

But you don't need me to tell you that, don't you? I don't have anything to complain about the situation i am in, but it definitely affects where i stand in the whole group. And i am sort of standing no where, i don't belong to any of the group when you think about it.

Why? Because originally, i don't belong to any smaller groups, i belonged to the whole group.

See. A whole, friggin, group.

The reasons i assume would be that it's because there were key persons, people who were able to hold the group together, i'm not sure who they are, maybe the one's that always lead the group to adventures? maybe the one's that always put a smile in everyone's face? or maybe the one's who constantly tries to capture memories?

Anyhow, i'm solo because of one simple reason, i don't have the usual camera strap to my pants. The camera has been my only way of staying/connecting with my friends. By not having it, i effectively am another person i guess, who that guy is, i'm not sure, probably just an emo with an emo blog writing emo stuffs, did you guys know emos are actually a a kind of ostrich?

But seriously, there doesn't seem to be anything common between each other anymore, maybe lesser, my level of communicating is, as everybody knows, quite low so not many would find interest in talking to a stuttering-uninteresting guy like me.

ANYWAYS, straying far from my point, nothing's happening to me of recent, i avoid secondary school friends, college friends too, indirectly. Spending most of the time with my family, mostly at home. I don't think i'm anything special to deserve any special treatment. Maybe that'll change, maybe it won't, but i won't sulk on it. Life's not bad that bad, at least, i'm considered to still have friends, right?
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