Can't sleep, so it's extras time~

I took a nap after getting back from college, so now i can't sleep after waking in the middle of the night and therefore, giving some extra post.

Writing stuffs about feelings here makes me feel i suck at doing it in the real world, well looking at my situation now, i seem to be less and less social activities since the schedules of my classes are changing constantly. Studying in college has made a great negative impact on my time for friends.

Even though I don't seem to like to be anti-social, it get's really irritating to be unable to have a proper conversation between a friend. And i get really mad about myself for being shy, quiet and unfriendly towards my friend because ...i don't want to but i am just too friggin stubborn to quit being a loner. That's why people say bad habits are not easily to be rid of.

Although there are times that i think i was much more worse in socializing when i was young throughout primary school and high school. To think i was a total loser when i was form 1 to form 3 and now maybe mostly still is. The first girl that i actually considered to have made friends with was not until around the middle time of the year at form 5, yeah i lose in social badly, very badly

Nope, even now i still can't even accept my current situation and myself. I'll always look down on myself but i will always try to do better, as the saying goes "You can't be the very best, you can only be better"