Having more time to emo lately.

Feels like my days are getting bored, i seem to still have fun though, it's just that i had felt something was missing; i feel something around my heart is vacant of room, it's empty.

To tell the truth, a single's life, although boring and at my age, is the right thing to be but i kept hurting myself. I feel no matter how close you and your best pal or you and your family is, there's always something they can't do. Everything in this world is two-sided, there's always something you have to sacrifice in order to get what you want. In my case, i'm able to study with almost 80% concentration but sacrificing personal relationships. I'm able to write better and becoming more disciplined but i was unable to just only socialize with people or become braver.

When i look at any girl right now and i mean any girl, you'll see me turning away and look at a distant or just have a complete blank stare at something and, although it maybe just a little, my mind starts filling up with wishful thoughts; my principles and convictions gets in my way, my heart again will start to hurt. I dunno but that's what i will personally feel. I've been feeling like that for as long as i can remember since high school. Sigh, pathetic.

People may envy my conviction for my future life but i envy their conviction for their present life.

I've been writing about my thoughts and less about my daily activities lately because i think it's rather boring and not for the use of personal blogging. If a person really wanted to write about his or her life and make it interesting; writing what time they eat, study or play, what song lyrics or random articles from other websites aren't really making his or her life more interesting when reading their blogs, after reading blogs after blogs i find it repetitive for people to just write about what are they doing for the past months.

You probably can do that anywhere, anytime and tell anyone about it. To my idea of when blogging, it's when only the time you have the chance to express yourself when you can't do it in reality, something that you won't even tell in real life to any person even that you are really close to. Sure maybe one of my friends may have seen my blog and tease me about it in real life, but really, i don't give a #$%&.