I'm quite weak actually, both mind and body, so i might as retire myself from normal random posts, but then i went to my old blog and had a look around, yes i started blogging two years ago, although not a frequent blogger, i did post a lot of things like stories and poems each passing month around late 2007 and 2008. Anyone interested, click "here" to have a look if you want.
Here's the first post made when i just started Form 5, a little fact about the past and the way i used to think and believe. Some things certainly changed a lot while some stayed with me. Heh, a lot can happen in just two years i guess.
Jikan no Nagare(Flow of Time)
Every passing year, everything I did before becomes a past, a memory. Some things that I will just forget in time and some moments that I will cherish for the most of my lifetime, 'From my first educations in kinder garden to the ends of knowledge that I will eventually grasp upon' was what I was thinking when my fifth-year studying in middle school approached. I had already begun to think it was an inevitable thing we humans commonly do in this forsaken world we live after only ten years of knowledge and experience that were obtained have passed.
From the first-year of middle school I was placed in the 7th class that time, it was not surprising as I somehow lost the way and will of studying. It could be caused by my family problems, influenced by friends, or maybe I just gave up of living at that time. 'Only time will tell' as the saying goes, I took another go in life only after two years have passed, only when I learned and accepted the way of the reality in this world works. I started studying harder, slowly but with progression which is considered amusing to me for I only remember disobedience, stubbornness, and clueless childhood memories of mine in the past. Now I am studying in the second class of science which was my first aim at middle school. People normally say it was because of the strong mind of mine, I say it was just because I 'figured out the answer for the question', what was the most obvious purpose in this world? It was simple; to live as any average human would, no more or any less.
I decided the only thing I could do now was to study, harder or not it didn't matter, what was important was if I have made any progress at all. 'Life is not complex, humans are.' we think too many thoughts, we get complicated about things and such. When I thought about it, life is simple in its ways; why do I always get worked up when I did not do my homework well, why do I worry silly things like how should I display myself to the public, or why important examinations or tests makes me nervous? To say the truth, those were just a thing of my past, now I only do those things as a necessity to fit in around people. I felt I was just pretending to be normal but deep down, heck, I don't even feel scared of the coming SPM no matter what the end results were. I thought "Well, yeah, what happens to me if I fail or not? Sure I might get a miserable and hard-working life from the actions I take but what really matters?". 'To fight is to continue, to hope is to dream, to live is to suffer, to die is to forget', I had reached this far and will continue to strife further and succeed my goal even if it is to suffer but eventually I will soon forget it.
Living happily ever after, was something anyone would wish for but did any of it come true? Nothing in this world is perfect as it is meant to be that way, including me and any other living beings but imperfection of one can considered to be as perfect. After four years of middle school have passed and now probably the last year of it, will soon too, become a distant memory. However, for now I'll just flow with the sands of time and hope for more answers of this world I exist in to be found.
From the first-year of middle school I was placed in the 7th class that time, it was not surprising as I somehow lost the way and will of studying. It could be caused by my family problems, influenced by friends, or maybe I just gave up of living at that time. 'Only time will tell' as the saying goes, I took another go in life only after two years have passed, only when I learned and accepted the way of the reality in this world works. I started studying harder, slowly but with progression which is considered amusing to me for I only remember disobedience, stubbornness, and clueless childhood memories of mine in the past. Now I am studying in the second class of science which was my first aim at middle school. People normally say it was because of the strong mind of mine, I say it was just because I 'figured out the answer for the question', what was the most obvious purpose in this world? It was simple; to live as any average human would, no more or any less.
I decided the only thing I could do now was to study, harder or not it didn't matter, what was important was if I have made any progress at all. 'Life is not complex, humans are.' we think too many thoughts, we get complicated about things and such. When I thought about it, life is simple in its ways; why do I always get worked up when I did not do my homework well, why do I worry silly things like how should I display myself to the public, or why important examinations or tests makes me nervous? To say the truth, those were just a thing of my past, now I only do those things as a necessity to fit in around people. I felt I was just pretending to be normal but deep down, heck, I don't even feel scared of the coming SPM no matter what the end results were. I thought "Well, yeah, what happens to me if I fail or not? Sure I might get a miserable and hard-working life from the actions I take but what really matters?". 'To fight is to continue, to hope is to dream, to live is to suffer, to die is to forget', I had reached this far and will continue to strife further and succeed my goal even if it is to suffer but eventually I will soon forget it.
Living happily ever after, was something anyone would wish for but did any of it come true? Nothing in this world is perfect as it is meant to be that way, including me and any other living beings but imperfection of one can considered to be as perfect. After four years of middle school have passed and now probably the last year of it, will soon too, become a distant memory. However, for now I'll just flow with the sands of time and hope for more answers of this world I exist in to be found.
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