Sufficient time?

I just have to post something, hah. When there's no class it feels like a week has passed by so actually i haven't been blogging for quite some time. But there's still gonna be quite a lot to keep me busy this week, especially when i have Christmas to celebrate and my brother's wedding ceremony to busy with, yes, my eldest brother, Kah Leong is going to marry my soon to be sister-in-law, Sim right after Christmas and of course i have been assigned with a few important tasks and that would be as the cameraman for their wedding. It would mean i have to responsible for recording their once in a lifetime event so i would guess i will have to do my best not to let them down.

Also with shoppings and hang outs, i still managed to find myself time to work on the prom night video, since it was quite a lenghty one, it took me probably 10 hours to make it, my longest yet in producing an episode, i wonder how long it would take for me to finish the Melacca trip vids, i think producing that one can amount to an hour long video. Hopefully i would have sufficient time on that.

To think i do this for free, hahah but given the quality, i guess it should be, though the returns i get is the satisfaction i get from the process and the completion of it. Heh, for most people, it's homesick but for me i'm 'friendsick'. But sometimes, i just wonder what the others think of me when i spent almost half a day just in front a computer, repeatedly watching the unprocessed videos, compiling the videos, editting the video, previewing the video and then finally again checking the video one last time. Many times i put my shoes onto someone else, thinking about how the majority of people will think of me. So i would say, i'm pretty much a weirdo from another person's point of view. Well, why do i even bother? I'm just speculating stuffs again, but if it was some one i cared, how would i feel when that person thinks of me like that, i find it hard to leave myself with no doubt when i encounter this dilemmas.

It's hard not to be able to read a person's mind, you'll never know how a person feels when you do something or when they do. You'll just have what all of us have, believe. Believe in their words and actions, why else should you trust unless they are not who you loved and cared?

Life's not complicated, we are.

Thinking back now, i think i was never ready for a relationship and now surprisingly, don't want to have one. But anything can happen even though i'm still not ready, love is, unpredictable. Even though i have been avoiding love for year but who knows? Maybe the next month, "Bam!" you suddenly got yourself a girl you love. Well either it happens or not, it's no big deal, if i'm still single, it just means the time hasn't come, if i'm not, it means i'm ready to take on a relationship, either it ends with a happy or sad ending, it's gonna help me mature in life anyways.

Still, being single is nerve breaking, watching the series "How I Met Your Mother" made me think how is she going to be like, when would i meet her, how would i spent the rest of my time with her. I sound like a complete loser but hey, i don't really care if i never had a girlfriend, that's just me. Honestly, though, i've always been myself and have changed little to none when it comes to socializing with people, i always waited for people, never taking the first approach; what are my chances? I call people nerds, geeks, emo, lala, but i'm one of each myself. What's my future? A 40 year old virgin? Most likely i guess. I change myself too slow, by the time i'm done changing, it's already too late.