Day 4 - 15th March 2009
Sunday, finally a day i could just relax at my home and do the things i usually do with my spare time; no going out for me today i guess. These limited precious days are always hard to get and even harder to enjoy them nowadays and will probably be harderst after starting my studies again ...no telling how much time i still have until that ..but sooner or later.. i have to open my eyes to reality for the near future.
I had my usual dance practices in the evening, FYI i practice street dances, i don't go for courses cause i prefer freestyling so i teach myself through the internet. My family like my dancing but except for myself, none of my brothers are interested in it. It makes me disappointed that all of them were not reluctant to even do simple basic steps with me. I tried to convince them that dancing does not require any talent, it's just takes some practice and a sense rhythm to the music, nope, they just ignore what i say and think it's embarassing to dance. God i hate that word, 'embarassing', i don't know how many times i have heard that from them, i can rant about this all day but that probably won't change a single thing, i guess they are just not dancers in their hearts. Though deep down, i still want to believe i could change them, so everytime i practice, i might argue about that as long as they don't give up and have some damn confidence, anyone can dance.
I guess when it all comes to having an interest, i just want to share it with people, at least they should give it a chance before saying no, it can be hurtful. Friends? you can say they like to dance but at the same time they don't. From what i can say is that self-practicing is weird for my friends cause i always get that ' So, you practice with yourself, huh?' was probably all they could say rather then directly saying 'That's gay and retarded, dude.'. Well thats what they gave that feeling when i told them about it even though some of them dance themselves but never practice again.
One thing i haven't mention though is that today i kind of wanted one of my friends to call me for a chat, i guess just missing one day of going out can make you think of something like that. Well not that i want to.. ..but an itching feeling to go though.
That's pretty much about today excluding the usual stuffs like playing, eating, writing this story. But i notice that, every day is a hoping day ; you hope of having a nice weather tomorrow, a nice hang out, a nice chat or to sum it up - a nice day.
*Past Alert*( For those who want to know why i got into dancing)
There was probably a time where a group of my friends practice break dancing during our high school times, whether or not they were serious about it but i for one, sure got into street dancing(wasn't interested in breaking though) since that time. Then i found out they were just doing it cause they had to perform in a school event at some time, so after that, not seeing much practices from them anymore. I too sorta of stopped but the 'fire' inside me was still burning and telling me to follow my heart every time 'it smokes my ass' about it, heh.
So, not long from the present ..umm probably 5 months ago i started to practice dancing despite the fact that no one wanted to join me but i went through it, progress seems to be slow but improving each day no doubt. It's just to show myself that, without anyone supporting you, you can still look up and say 'Screw you, real life.' . And now here i am, still fighting for my dreams.
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